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The soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm FAQ list (Part 3 of 7)

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The soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm FAQ List
Where the kinky knowledge resides!
Part 3 of 7

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*The FAQs Themselves*

PART 1:
 1. What do B&D, S&M, D&S, "top", "bottom" mean?

 2. What is a "scene", and what is "negotiation"?

 3. What is a "safeword"?

 4. When is pain not pain?

 5. What are some basics of safe SM, emotionally and physically?
PART 2:
 6. Is everyone either a top or a bottom?  What's a "switch"?

 7. How can I learn to be a good top?

 8. How can I learn to be a good bottom?

 9. Is BDSM sexual?

10. Why is bondage fun?

11. Why is whipping fun?
PART 3:
12. What is body piercing? What is "C&B" play, or "genitorture"?

13. What is cutting/play piercing/burning/branding/electrical play? 
    What are "bloodsports"?

14. What is it about breath control? Is it safe to make someone pass 
    out?

15. What are "golden showers"? How about "scat"?

16. Is anal sex safe? Why do people do it?

17. What is "fisting"?
PART 4:
18. Does the way I play qualify as "real" SM? What is "real" SM, anyway?

19. What is it about leather/latex/high heels/corsets/other fetishes?

20. What about shaving body hair and/or crossdressing?

21. Why am I defending SM?

22. Is SM degrading or abusive? Were most SM people abused?
PART 5:
23. Why is SM taboo, and is SM criminal, unnatural, immoral, 
    unethical, or unhealthy?

24. Isn't the bottom always in control?

25. Can someone _really_ be someone else's slave?

26. What are the "codes"?

27. My fantasies scare me. What if I get too into SM?
PART 6:
28. I want to throw a play party; how do I go about it?

29. I want to attend a play party; what is the etiquette?

30. What's the deal with this anonymity stuff?

31. Are SM people being politically and socially harassed?

32. What topics are or aren't acceptable on s.s.b-b? (including, 
    what's s.s.b-b's charter?)

33. I'm sick of certain topics on s.s.b-b. How can I avoid them? Also, 
    what's with all these ads?


34. OK, so I can't post ads to s.s.b-b.  Where CAN I post them?

35. I don't have access to soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm; what can I do 
    to get information about the scene?

PART 7:
36. What are some websites/books/magazines/organizations/stores/news 
    archives where I can get SM information or toys, or meet people in the scene?


=======================================================================
*12. What is body piercing? What is "C&B" play, or "genitorture"?*

Piercings aren't just done to ears. People on this list have their
nipples, navels, eyebrows, clitoris hoods, penises, labia, and other
body parts pierced, and bits of metal permanently in the piercings.
These are the bare facts, but this practice, it turns out, has a lot to
do with SM.

Getting a piercing, first of all, is an incredibly intense rush, on a
purely physical level. It's a very powerful thing to willingly have
someone push a sharp piece of metal through your body. It can be a
level of sensation beyond any you've experienced in your life.

Once you have the piercing, it can completely change the way that part
of the body feels to you. One friend of mine said that his nipple
piercings turned his nipples from little places that felt OK to
full-fledged erotic zones connected right to his cock. He calls his
nipple piercings the best thing he's ever done for his body and his sex
life, and he seems damn sincere! The same goes for all the piercings in
the genital area; they can really make sex more fun.

There is some medical evidence that nerves around the pierced location
become much more sensitive, so this isn't mere folklore. In case it
wasn't clear, once a piercing heals, it doesn't hurt at all; quite the
opposite!

Some people get into play piercings, which are done temporarily with
very thin needles, which are removed at the end of the scene. This is
basically another kind of sensory trip, which some find very enjoyable.
The needles don't _hurt_, exactly, but you certainly do know they're in
there, and they sure do get those endorphins pumping!

You don't want to try permanent piercings unless you've been personally
trained by a professional; there is a lot of knowledge involved, and you
definitely don't want to get stuck with a bad piercing. Play piercings
are less hardcore, but you still want to make sure you know sterile
technique (remember safe sex!).

Does nipple piercing cause problems with nursing? Sometimes yes,
sometimes no; there are stories both ways. There are many milk ducts in
an average nipple, so the chances are good that nursing can still
happen, but nothing is certain.

For more information about piercings, see rec.arts.bodyart (or possibly
later editions of this FAQ).

"C&B play" stands for cock & ball play. "Genitorture" stands for
"genital torture". This is a subject that makes some men clutch their
nuts and run in fear, and makes other men instantly erect and greedy for
more. The male genitals are at once the most vulnerable and most
sensitive part of the male body, so of course many tops enjoy playing
with them.

Cockrings are rings that go around your cock, typically around the base
of it, behind the balls. The penis becomes erect when the blood vessels
at its base constrict (because of arousal), trapping blood in the cock
and causing it to swell. Cock rings have a similar effect, prolonging
erection in most men that use them. (They also constrict the urethra,
which will make any orgasm more painful, or even cause ejaculate to
back up into the bladder. This is not dangerous unless done repeatedly.
Experiment to find out how much tightness is too much.)

Most are made of leather, with adjustable snaps, so you can tighten or
loosen them to fit (as well as remove them easily). Some are made of
rubber. Some are even made of metal, but metal ones can be hazardous; if
you put a too-small one on your non-erect cock, your cock may become so
erect that you can no longer remove it--and if it is too tight, it will
prevent your cock from softening. This may involve a trip to the
emergency room and the use of bolt cutters. No joke.

Some cock rings have multiple rings, for behind the balls, around the
balls themselves, and around the base of the shaft. Some people like
using _lots_ of cock rings, to stretch the balls out away from the body.

Safety tips: The broadest guideline is to go slowly until you know how
much you can take. If the pain from a particular activity starts to
spread into other areas of the body, or if the pain lasts for a long
time after the stimulation ends, you have probably gone beyond your
limits. You won't reach this point generally if you take your time. As
with any SM practice, if you find yourself in pain later, or if you
notice any abnormalities in your cock or balls when flaccid or erect,
see a doctor. Of course, avoid any practice that seriously wrenches or
twists the genitals; there are many ligaments and blood vessels in
there, damage to which may make it hard for you to get hard. But the
cock and balls can handle light whipping or slapping, provided it is
done with care.

Of course, cock and ball bondage can be done with leather strips,
ribbons, velvet cords, etc. Be as ornamental as you please; tying up an
erect cock can create a luscious work of art, and teasing it can be
even more artistic. Don't expect C&B bondage to keep a cock hard
indefinitely; cocks will usually get soft if not stimulated, and
bondage which _will_ keep it hard may be dangerously tight. In any
event, be sure you can remove your bondage quickly, as always.

A great deal can also be done with female genitalia. Some women love
having clothespins on their pussy lips; some love light whipping on
their outer labia, or even their clitoris. Sometimes body piercings can
be used for bondage; labia piercings can hold a pussy open very
delightfully, or clit hood piercings can be tied up out of the way with
thread, leaving the clit naked and exposed. Some women like soft fur on
their pussy; others like to be alternately soothed and tormented until
they can stand no more.

Again, go slowly. Do NOT blow into the vagina, whatever else you do.
Don't leave clamps on very long until you know how much your partner
enjoys (and how it will feel to her the next day when the scene is
over). Too much of one kind of sensation can become irritating quickly;
change the stimulation, keep your bottom aroused and surprised. There
are all _sorts_ of things that can be used on female genitals; one
article I have lists "bamboo skewers, candles, cheese graters, clips,
flyswatter, ice cubes, knives, latex squares, leather thongs, massage
bongers, rabbit fur, ropes, scalp scrubber, silk, spoons, towels,
weights, and whips" as items that can be useful in giving your bottom's
genitals a ride they won't forget. (And no, you don't do this until you
cause real damage, any more than you do with male genitals. Don't be
scraping, scabbing, or scarring--these are the most sensitive parts of
the body you're playing with!)

Communication is paramount in female genital play; women's pussies vary
as much as any other part of women's bodies (or more), and responses
will vary equally dramatically. In general, the same sort of rhythm
discussed in the whipping section is useful in cunt play, though if
anything the top needs to go even more slowly, as the sensations will
be more intense and focused than in almost any other kind of sensation
scene.

One final tidbit: apparently, for many women, a common pre-orgasmic
response is for the clit to retreat into its hood. If you are giving
your partner some very delicious sensation (possibly combined with some
just-right pain) and her clit disappears, DON'T STOP! (Unless you
_want_ to avoid her orgasm... don't push this too far, unless your
bottom's feet are tied down--she may kick.) And know your limits; if
your bottom really wants an orgasm to end the scene, giving her one may
make her EXTREMELY grateful to you, and waiting _too_ long may burn you
both out. This is good stuff to negotiate about beforehand in any
scene--how would you like the scene to end? Breaking such an agreement
will engender mistrust, but honesty, as always, will help everyone get
what they want.

Previous section Created 10 August 1995, last updated 10 August 1995
=======================================================================
*13. What is cutting/play piercing/burning/branding/electrical play?
What are "bloodsports"?*

First questions first. Cutting is the SM practice of using a scalpel or
other fine blade to make shallow cuts in the top layer of your partner's
skin. Play piercing is using very fine needles to pierce your partner
temporarily, removing the needles at scene's end. Burning is using high
temperatures somehow in an SM scene; note that the goal here is to play
with heat, not to actually burn your partner, since burns are not
friendly injuries to heal. Branding is, well, branding--using small,
shaped, highly heated pieces of metal to burn small scars into a
partner's skin. Electrical play is playing with electricity. And
finally, "bloodsports" is a generic name for any SM practice that
involves blood.

Obviously, all these SM practices are potentially very very dangerous,
as any of these things, done wrong, could result in permanent injury.
Properly done, none of these practices result in any damage that
requires more than minor first aid to clean up and cope with. Also, _I
cannot give enough information in this FAQ to explain how to do these
practices safely._ You need to learn from an experienced top, and you
need to see it done in person, before you will really know how to play
this way with your partners. That said, onward we go with a feeble
attempt to cover some of the groundwork.

First, cutting and bloodsports. The ground rules: cleanliness and
safety. Most cutters I've seen use rubbing alcohol to clean off the
surface of the skin, followed by Betadine to disinfect the skin area on
which they're going to cut. The top wears latex gloves to minimize
contact with their partner's blood--remember, blood carries HIV, and
cutting (bloodsports in general, actually) involves blood. The usual
instrument for cutting is a surgical scalpel, which is sharp enough to
make a smooth, clean cut; using duller blades can leave a ragged cut
which doesn't heal as well. Cuts are made on areas of the body where
the skin is not stretched tight; for example, the shoulder blade, or
the buttock, or the front of the thigh (though this can be
problematic). Cuts are NOT made anywhere that the skin becomes taut,
since such places won't heal well (the cut'll keep getting pulled
open). Only one layer of skin is cut--the very topmost layer. Deeper
cuts don't heal well. And cuttings generally don't form loops, as the
skin in the center of the loop can be cut off from its blood supply.
When the cutting is complete, the whole area is generally bandaged.

Are you getting the extent of the possible screwups in a cutting scene?
It's definitely as edge-y as edge play gets! If you want to know more,
see _The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual_ (in the resource list at the end of
part 3). The best safety advice: be taught by someone who knows how to
do cuttings safely.

Play piercings are a milder (somewhat) form of bloodsports. Again, the
bottom's skin must be cleaned, and the top must wear latex gloves. The
needles used are sterile surgical needles available from medical supply
stores or serious SM shops. The top pinches up a bit of skin (right
around the nipples is one favored area), and slides the needle through.
Each needle doesn't necessarily hurt that much, but your nerves
definitely know it's there, and the endorphins start to flow _very_
quickly. After a while, the needles are removed and put into a
disposable sharps container, and the bottom gets bandaids if any are
needed--generally the holes are small enough that they clot
immediately. Again, the best way to learn this is from someone else who
knows how, personally.

There are other forms of bloodsports. I've seen one scene in which a top
(after cleaning their bottom's skin and donning the requisite latex
gloves) used a syringe to draw some of their bottom's blood, then fed
their bottom their own blood. This scene was as hardcore as bloodsports
gets, yet was (as far as I could see) very safe from the standpoint of
AIDS transmission. And I can only assume that that top had had some
medical training--I will not even BEGIN to talk about safety
considerations for drawing blood, since I have no idea what they are.

Now, on to burning--actually, temperature play in general. Molten wax
can be mild or intense. The higher you hold the candle, the cooler the
drops will be--to a certain extent. They'll definitely make your bottom
yelp no matter what! Don't use beeswax candles, though--they melt at a
much higher temperature. If you like hot wax, you might like ice cubes,
too....

Branding is an extreme form of temperature play. There are only a few
people nationwide who do a lot of branding; Fakir Musafar, in the San
Francisco area, is one. His magazine _Body Play_ has some great
articles about branding techniques. Basically, short curved pieces of
metal are heated with a blowtorch, then pressed into the skin so as to
make an ornamental burn. I really don't know much more about the safety
concerns or possible snafus, so I'll mention no more here. Don't go off
half-cocked and try ANY of these practices without doing the legwork
yourself to talk to experienced players.

Electrical play is using electricity of one form or another to generate
sensation. This is another advanced form of play which can be fatal
(lethal, deadly, murderous) if done improperly. Any electrical play
that involves current flowing through the body should ONLY BE DONE
BELOW THE WAIST; any current above the waist or through the heart can
induce immediate cardiac arrest.

There are two main kinds of electrical toys I've seen. One is a TENS
unit (Trans-Electric Nerve Stimulator, or something like that); these
units typically are battery-powered, with control of pulse intensity
and pulse frequency, and two leads that can be attached to electric
cock rings, dildoes, or what have you. These can produce sensations
ranging from a mild tingle to a thrilling trembling buzz to a serious
jolt. Remember, below the waist only! And I wouldn't even use any such
unit unless its sole power source was a 9V (or weaker) battery; no way
am I letting anything plugged into a wall socket send power through my
body!

The other sort of toy is known as a "violet wand"; these rather resemble
hand-held power tools with little glass bulbs sticking out of one end.
When turned on, the bulb glows violet and crackles; touching it will
cause static sparks to jump to your skin, with an associated "zap!" and
a sharp shock. These do not send current through the body, and are safe
for use anywhere except the eyes or major nerve clusters (i.e. the top
of the spine)--though prolonged use will burn the skin.

If you look at all this and go, "WHY would anyone do that?"--well, if
you have to ask, you'll never understand :-)  The key thing to remember
here is that SM is all about intense sensation, and all these practices
can certainly produce a lot of that!  As always, be aware of what you're
doing and why you're doing it.  It's certainly possible to do all these
things in an unhealthy (physically or psychologically) way; but it's
also possible to do them in healthy ways, if that's your true desire.

Previous section Created 10 August 1995, last updated 18 November 1996
=======================================================================
*14. What is it about breath control?  Is it safe to make someone pass
out?*

Some people enjoy playing with cutting off their air during heavy
scenes.  This can be as simple as squeezing someone's neck while you
kiss them deeply, or as complex as a full-head latex hood and gas mask
over a straitjacket.  As your air is cut off, you can feel sensation
more intensely; it is also a deeply intimate thing to allow someone else
to be in control of the very air you breathe.  One simple explanation is
that the body's natural reaction as orgasm approaches is shallow, rapid
breathing--just like in breath control.

Needless to say, there are many things that can go very wrong; if you
pass out and someone isn't there to cut you loose and make sure you're
breathing, you can die.  Not for novices.  One simple way to start is to
try squeezing your lover's neck gently as you make love to them. If it
feels good, they will let you know, most demonstratively.  And you can
stop instantly just by letting go.  In _any_ form of breath control, it
is critical that all equipment be fail-safe, and that the bottom's
breathing is only impaired by the top's _direct_ action--not by anything
(noose, gas mask, etc) that would continue to obstruct air if the top
(for example) fainted suddenly.

Many people die each year practicing "autoerotic asphyxiation"--wherein
someone will masturbate while restricting their own breathing, and one
night they wait too long to take the bag off their head or release the
pressure on their neck, and they black out and die.  Some think, "Well,
just play with a partner, then, if you want to black out."  However,
losing consciousness, even for a moment, _can_ trigger cardiac arrest.
This is why making your bottom black out is almost certainly a much
riskier idea than you would think.

The same goes for anesthesia.  Sometimes people think, "Hmm, it'd be hot
if I could drug my play partner--like in the movies--and she'd wake up
all bound!"  Even if your play partner likes this idea, don't do it.
There is no safe way to force someone into unconsciousness;
anesthesiologists spend their lives learning how to do it, with the best
equipment, and still mishaps occur.  Don't play with ether, or
chloroform, or suffocation to unconsciousness... unless you and your
partner really want to take a substantial risk of death.  More
experienced people than you have died.

Previous section Created 10 August 1995, last updated 10 August 1995
=======================================================================
*15. What are "golden showers"?  How about "scat"?*

Another kind of play, also known as "water sports".  Basically, some
people enjoy urinating on their lovers, or having their lovers piss on
them.  Pissing is really a very intimate thing; your urine is a part of
you, it's warm and wet, it feels good to let it out, it comes from your
genitals.  Some get a thrill of power from having someone bound beneath
them who can do nothing but take it as the shower lets loose; others get
off on being made to pee, to wet their pants, it's naughty and they need
to be punished for it.

Safety-wise, urine is essentially sterile; it's not necessarily free of
HIV, so it's not safer sex to drink someone else's urine.  Also, urine
contains mostly salts that your body is trying to eliminate, so drinking
it again will strain your kidneys.  If you're drinking urine, make sure
to drink lots of water as well.

Some people are into scat play, which is playing with shit.  I don't
know any who are, but they're out there.  Scat is obviously even less
safe than water sports; in particular, hepatitis and intestinal
parasites can be spread by oral contact with even a tiny bit of feces.
People who enjoy rimming (oral-anal contact) should be aware of this,
and clean themselves VERY thoroughly at the least, although even
thorough cleaning will not eliminate all risk.  For more on this, see
the next question.

Previous section Created 10 August 1995, last updated 10 August 1995
=======================================================================
*16. Is anal sex safe? Why do people do it?*

Anal sex, practiced properly, is as safe as any other kind of sex. And
people do it because it feels good--the anus can be an intensely
erogenous zone. In fact, far more straight people than gay people
practice anal sex! The anus contains more nerve endings than any other
part of the male body, and more than any part of the female body except
the clitoris. It's no wonder that anal sex is a part of many peoples'
sex lives.

"Anal sex" can range from simply stroking your or your partner's anus
with a lubricated finger, to actually sliding some fingers inside your
partner and stroking them, to full anal intercourse. All these things
are physically very pleasurable, and if you simply wash your butt,
there's nothing repulsive about them. The anal taboo is very old, but
there is no necessary medical reason for it if you know what you're
doing. If you're concerned about staying clean, by all means make sure
you've gone to the bathroom before playing, and wash your ass--outside
and, if you wish, inside, with an enema. If you want to feel clean in
order to enjoy anal sex, it's not hard to be as clean as you want. (It
is also very important, though, to use safe sex techniques, which I
describe a bit further on.)

The main guidelines for anal sex are Communication, Relaxation,
Lubrication. You see, your anus consists of two rings of muscle, dubbed
the external and internal sphincters. Your external sphincter is under
your voluntary control--you can relax it at will. But your internal
sphincter is _not_ under voluntary control. If you are tense, your
internal sphincter will be tight, and trying to force anything into it
will hurt, which will make you (and it) even _more_ tense. So the rule
in anal sex is to go slowly; you can't force your way into enjoying it.

Communication: talk about what you're going to do before you do it!
Don't just roll your partner over and surprise them; they won't be
relaxed and it won't be fun. Make sure you both are comfortable with
the idea of anal play. Relaxation: listen to your body. If your ass
wants to be played with, you will know; if it doesn't, don't rush
anything. Lubrication: your anus doesn't lubricate, so you need to use
a WATER-SOLUBLE lubricant such as KY Jelly or Probe. Use LOTS of it;
it's clean! The more lube you use, the more comfortable you will be.
And finally, communication again: if you haven't played with your anus
before, the sensations will be intense and strange. You may feel like
you are having a bowel movement when your partner slides their fingers
out of you; it takes some experience to realize that this feeling is
deceptive and that what you're feeling won't result in a soiled
bedsheet.

It's not enough to just clean your anus, though; your partner should
also use a latex barrier (a glove for fingering, a dental dam or a piece
of (non-microwaveable) Saran Wrap for licking, and a condom for fucking)
when having sex with you. This is true in general, but especially true
for anal sex; unprotected anal sex is the riskiest kind of sex with
regard to transmitting STDs of any sort. Also, using protection often
increases the sensation of safety and cleanliness, which helps many
people relax and enjoy the experience more. (Some say that anal play
isn't as risky as all that. The facts are that in some cities
intestinal parasites, spread by unprotected anal sex, have been
considered a serious sexually transmitted public health problem, with
thousands of people infected. Decide for yourself how much risk you
want to accept.) And anything that has come in contact with the anus
should be cleaned thoroughly (or thrown away, in the case of latex
barriers) before coming into contact with the mouth or vagina.

I already mentioned that it's not a good idea to force anything. Let me
be more emphatic: if you feel pain in your ass while you're having anal
sex, STOP. Too-rough anal sex can stress and possibly tear the anal
lining, which can lead to very serious infections. Anal sex does NOT
mix with force, and should NEVER be used as a way to inflict pain. And
if you find yourself bleeding from the rectum, go see a doctor
IMMEDIATELY. (Don't be embarrassed--they've seen it all before... just
get yourself taken care of!)

That said, I need to clarify what I meant by STOP if you feel pain. That
is what you should do: stop moving. The pain may just be your sphincter
muscle complaining about stretching a bit, and when you stop pushing it
will stop hurting--and possibly relax some more. If it doesn't stop
hurting when you stop moving, THEN you want to pull out (slowly) and
take appropriate action. If it does stop, wait a little, then begin
again... your ass will let you know if it wants to stop altogether. (So
pay attention to it! Getting drunk is NOT a good idea, as you don't
want to block out any pain you may feel. The FAQ List No-Prize for
Worst Sexual Product goes to an "anal lube" that contained oil (and
therefore couldn't be used with gloves or condoms), AND which
advertised itself as being best for anal sex BECAUSE it contained
benzocaine "for greater comfort"! If anyone did hurt themselves through
using it, I hope they sued the hell out of the company.)

If you want more information about anal anything, see Jack Morin's book,
listed at the very end of the FAQ.

Previous section Created 10 August 1995, last updated 10 August 1995
=======================================================================
*17. What is "fisting"?*

Everyone (well, almost everyone) knows what finger-fucking is. Whether
in ass or pussy, it's terrifically enjoyable to stroke someone inside.
(Fingers up a man's ass, if aimed properly, will tickle his prostate
gland, which feels AMAZINGLY good... just a little tip!) And people are
generally comfortable with the idea of finger-fucking with more than one
finger. But not as many people have been exposed to the idea of
inserting a _whole hand_ into the ass or pussy... which is, in simplest
terms, what fisting is. Yes, it's anatomically possible, and yes, it's
EXTREMELY pleasurable. (I haven't experienced it, save vicariously.)

That said, it's now very important to explain what fisting is _not_. You
do _not_ make a fist and ram it home. Fisting is one of the most
intimate and complete ways to touch another human being, and it is
something that has to be worked up to slowly and gently. There have been
many posts about fisting on s.s.b-b, talking about the proper technique,
the safety concerns, the fantastic feeling of openness and connection,
the magical plane that two people fisting can attain... it's an
incredibly intense way to make love. I can't do justice to the firsthand
descriptions others have written, but I can mention some of the safety
concerns.

First of all, cut and file all your nails until every finger is as
smooth as it could _possibly_ be. Your fingers will be in some very
delicate places--places that may not have pain receptors. You want to
make sure you minimize all chance of causing damage.

Use latex gloves. AIDS is a matter of life and death.

You will probably want to clean your bottom's GI tract out. What else
are enemas for? Be gentle with enemas; warm water is best. Don't use
detergent in enemas. Some people enjoy putting alcohol (booze, not
rubbing alcohol!) in enemas; if you do, use a VERY VERY VERY DILUTED
solution, since it will get absorbed _real_ fast, and the bottom won't
be able to expel it if they get too drunk.  (I don't know a precise
dosage, since this seems a bit too risky for me.)

Use LOTS (and I mean __LOTS__) of lube. Push it in with your fingers.
Make a huge mess. Get it all over your hand, the back of your hand,
between your fingers. Keep applying it as you go. You can't have too
much lube. Remember, oil-based lubricants dissolve latex. Some people
like KY jelly; others say it dries out too quickly. In the UK, a
substance called "Aqueous Cream" is the creme de la creme. Others use
"J-Lube," which is a powdered concentrate that when added to water
produces incredibly slippery goo; it's sold in veterinary supply houses!
(Some people still use Crisco with latex gloves, on the theory that the
Crisco is just the best lube, and the gloves don't break down _that_
fast. This is risky, but it's an option.)

Go slowly. Start with one finger and work up. DON'T RUSH. Be sensitive
to your bottom's feelings. You are trying to persuade part of their body
to open for you, to admit part of you deeply inside it. The energy will
move back and forth, and you'll ride it, coaxing and pushing, in and
out, moving your bottom into a trance. Keep communi- cating with your
bottom; gags, or role-playing where the bottom feels inferior or is told
to stay quiet, are not conducive to the kind of relaxation and open
empathy you'll need.

If your bottom suddenly hits their limit, you'll know; their orifice
will clench tight shut suddenly. DON'T PULL OUT. Stay right where you
are until the contraction ends, THEN start pulling out. You can pull a
muscle or two if you try to back out in the middle of a reaction like
that. If this happens, it's OK; you'll know to go slower next time (if
you both want to try again). But assuming all is well....

When you reach five fingers, you're almost there. Now is when you want
to be most sensitive and most aware. Your bottom is going to be flying
on pain and pleasure; a sudden flinch and you'll find the asshole (or
whatever) doesn't want you anymore. Respect that, and pull out
(slowly!). But if your bottom's bottom wants it, then you'll slip your
knuckles inside, folding your thumb inside your fingers, and (so I've
been told) your hand will NATURALLY form a fist--you DON'T need to
clench your hand or anything else!

Now the real fun begins... explore, entice, pleasure your bottom, who
will be in heaven... and when it comes time to pull out, do so slowly
and naturally!

If you have more questions (as always), post to s.s.b-b; there have been
some GREAT pieces on fisting in the past, and there will be more if you
ask for them.

Previous section Created 10 August 1995, last updated 12 December 1995
=======================================================================
Thanks for reading!
Hope you learned something! Remember, your sexuality is wonderful;
treasure it and nourish it!

Created 10 August 1995, last updated 2 15 Dec 1999, and copyright
{http://www.unrealities.com/adult/copyrite.htm} by Johnson Grey
{johnson_grey@unrealities.com}.

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