(kids)
It's Happy!
It's Fun!
It's Happy Fun Ball!
 
(announcer)
Yes, it's Happy Fun Ball,
the toy sensation
that's sweeping the nation.
Only 14.95 at participating stores!
 
Get one Today
 
(background voice)
Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid
prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
 
Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
 
Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture
should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
 
Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.
 
Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:
 
* Itching
 
* Vertigo
 
* Dizziness
 
* Tingling in extremities
 
* Loss of balance or coordination
 
* Slurred speech
 
* Temporary blindness
 
* Profuse Sweating
 
or
 
* Heart palpitations
 
If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately.  Seek shelter
and cover head.
 
Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
 
When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container
and kept under refrigeration.
 
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products
Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of
any and all liability.
 
Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which
fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
 
Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is
also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
 
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
 
Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.
 
(announcer)
Happy Fun Ball!  Accept no substitutes!

(corrections by Russell Schulz <Russell_Schulz@locutus.ofB.ORG>)