Timothy Eaton  [in the USA this could be J.C. Penny or Montgomery Ward]

Number of participants: 4 or more
Props: Articles of clothing

# 2 enters and passes # 1, wearing a hat.

# 1: "Where did you get the hat ?"
# 2: "Timothy Eaton."
#3 enters and passes # 1 carrying a pair of pants.
# 1: "Where did you get the new pants ?"
# 3: "Timothy Eaton."

Others enter carrying new articles of clothing and offer similar
explanations.  Finally # 4 enters wearing just underwear.

# 1: "Who do you think you are dressed like that ?"
# 4: "I'm Timothy Eaton !"


The Operation

By setting up a white sheet and using a light behind it, a
hospital operation can be silhouetted onto the sheet, which is
set up like a screen.  Ham it up with humorous dialogue,
occasionally throwing a peeled tomato or a piece of raw liver or
spurt of ketchup out to the audience.  A good creative
imagination would be an asset here.

The Lost Quarter

Number of Participants: 5 or more
Props: None.

Scene: One person acts as a lamp post, shining a flashlight on
the ground.  Another is groping around in the pool of light.
(He's # 1).

A third person enters, sees # 1, and asks: "What are you looking
for ?"

# 1: "A quarter that I lost".

He joins # 1, and helps him search.  A fourth and fifth enter and
repeat the above scene.

Finally one of them asks # 1: "Where did you loose the quarter ?"
# 1: (Pointing away) "Over there:.
Boy: "Then why are you looking here ?"
# 1: "Because the light is better over here !"

The Dead Body

Number of Participants: 2

Scene: One person lying on the ground, dead.  Another sees him
and runs for the telephone and, panicking, gasps:  "Police,
there's a dead person here...  Where ? .... Un, (looking for a
sign), "I'm at Montgomery and Westchester...  Spell it ?... Uh,
M-o-t-n...  Uh,  M-o-t-g,," (confused), "Just a minute, I'll drag
him over to King and Elm !"


The Short Runway

Number of Participants: 2  (If more are desired, they can be
passengers, with suitable sound effects and actions.)

Props: Seating for pilot and co-pilot, and for passengers if
required.  A compass.

Announcer:  This scene is on board a very low budget airline.

Pilot    : Well, are we anywhere near the airport, co-pilot ?
Co-Pilot : (peering out the window) I don't know... I see lights
           over there to the port.  That's likely it.  Bring 'er
           around and have a look.
Pilot    : (lurching plane hard to the left) Boy, I can't tell.
           I wish the company would buy us some instruments.
Co-Pilot : (pulling compass from pocket) Oh, I've got my trusty
           compass and the sun went down about 20 minutes ago, so
           we've got to be on course.  (Excited) Look, see that
           spot down there, that must be it.
Pilot    : Okay, here we go.  Give me 20 degrees flaps, I'm going
           in.  (Puts plane into a nose dive, sound effects.)
Pilot    : This is going to be tough.  Give me more flaps, cut
           back the engines. (Louder) More flaps, less throttle !
Co-Pilot : (Appropriate actions and sounds, acting panicky.)
Pilot    : QUICK, cut the engines, give me brakes. MORE BRAKES !
Both     : (Sighs of relief) We're down, we made it !
Pilot    : Boy that was a short runway !
Co-Pilot : (Looking right, then left) Yep, and wide too !


Bell Ringer #1

Props:  Coat with football or wadded clothing under it for the
Hunchback, hat or nightstick for Gendarme.

Announcer: The Hunchback of Notre Dame has decided to retire, and
has place an ad in the Paris Times for someone to come and learn
how to ring the bells.

Effects: (Knock, knock, knock)

Hunchback: (Gravely voice) Oh, somebody must be here about my
           job.  I'll go down and see. (Goes 'round and 'round
           the campfire, as if going down the bell tower, bent
           over due to hunch.)
Effects  : (Knock, knock, knock)
Hunchback: (Angrily) I'm coming, I'm coming.  There's a lot of
           stairs here. (Arrives at and opens the door.)
Hunchback: Yeah !  What do you want ?
Applicant: I'm here about the bellringer's job.
Hunchback: All right !  Come on up and I'll see if you can do the
           job.  (Begins to go up (the other way around) followed
           by the applicant.)
Applicant: Boy, the ceiling is not very high here, is it ?
Hunchback: Listen, you go up and down these stairs 20 times a day
           for 45 years and you just learn to stay bent over.
           Hey, did you close that door, didn't you ?
Applicant: I don't know.  I don't remember.
Hunchback: Well, we gotta go down and keep it locked, can't run
           up the church's fuel bill.  (Both turn around and go
           back.)
Hunchback: That's the first thing you gotta learn.  Keep the door
           closed.  Up and down these stairs, that's the hard
           part.  (Arriving at door) O.K., so now you're here,
           close the door.
Applicant: (Closes door) How are the benefits in this job ?
Hunchback: (Both going back up) Well, it has it's ups and downs.
           The Church board will buy you ear plugs every six
           months and a new bottle of bell polish once a year.
           (Finally arriving at the bell)  Alright, now you stand
           over there, and I'll show you how it's done.  First
           you grab the bell here and push it out very hard
           (steps back and follows path of bell out and back)
           then the bell comes back on it's own.  That's all
           there is to it.  Do you think you can do that ?
Applicant: Sure ! (does the action with the bell, but does not
           step back, is hit by bell and falls back, to the
           ground)
Hunchback: Oh my gosh !  He's fallen 15 stories to the sidewalk.
           I'd better get down there. (Goes 'round and 'round
           until he reaches the ground)
           (Crowd enters mumbling, stops astonished at body)
Gendarme : (Entering, calls to Hunchback) Hey you !  Do you know
           this guy ? (Rolls body over with foot)
Hunchback: No, but his face sure rings a bell !


Bell Ringer # 2

(The trick with this skit is to do it the night after doing Bell
Ringer #1, and to do everything exactly the same - perhaps with a
little more 'hamming it up')

(When the Applicant arrives the Hunchback says:)
Hunchback: You look just like the guy who was here yesterday.
Applicant: Oh, that was my twin brother.

(Revert to the original dialog again.  The audience will think
it's getting a re-run and prepare itself for a 'groaner' of a
cheer.  When they hear the ending, you'll get a great reaction.)

(Carry on with dialog, except for the last line.)

Hunchback: No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy who was here
           yesterday !


Bell Ringer # 3

(To be used ONLY when Bell Ringer #1 and #2 have been used.)

Props: Rain slickers, blanket, and Gendarme gear from above.

(Two players enter in rain slickers holding blanket between them
like a jumping net.  The jig and jog around the performing area.

Gendarme  : (Entering) Hey, what are you guys doing ?
Fireman #1: Well, the last two nights some guy has jumped out of
            that bell tower, and we came to catch him !


The Bicycle Shop

(The scene begins with three players on their hands and knees, in
a row, as bicycles.)

Shop Owner: Well, there we are, three brand new bicycles all set
            up for sale.
Customer  : (Entering) Hi.  I'd like to buy a bicycle.
Shop Owner: Sure thing.  Why don't you try them on for size ?
            (Customer sits on the first bike and it falls down.
            The second is too big, while the third is too small.)
Customer  : I sure like the first one, let me try it again.
Shop Owner: Why not ? (Setting up bike again)  There you are,
            it's all set up again.  (Customer sits on it, and
            again it falls down.)
Customer  : I don't know.  I really like this one but it keeps
            falling down.  I'm afraid it's not made well enough.
Shop Owner: Our bicycles are all very well made.  It was just
            assembled this morning, and it may need a little
            adjustment.  Let me get some help.
(A volunteer is chosen from the audience, who is instructed to
hold one 'wheel' of the now upright bicycle.)
Customer  : (Sitting on the bike)  That's perfect now.  What was
            the problem ?
Shop Owner: Oh, we just need a big nut to hold it together !


The Lawnmower

(One participant is on his hands and knees as the mower.)

Owner    : (Yanking imaginary rope, while mower sputters)  This
           darned old mower, I can't get it going.  I need some
           help.  (Gets help from another participant.)
Helper #1: So you just want me to yank on this rope, and get it
           started ?  That's easy ! (Yanking rope)
Mower    : (Splutters, bobs up and down)
Helper #1: I'm sorry.  I can't seem to do it.  Have you checked
           the gas ?
Owner    : Yes, I have.  Thanks anyway.  Well, let's see who else
           has a strong arm.  (Selects another participant)  What
           I need you to do is to give a real good yank on the
           starting rope and make it run.
Helper #2: Sure thing.  (Yanks rope a couple of times.)
Mower    : (Bobs up and down, sputters, coughs)
Helper #2: Sorry, I can't do it either.
Owner    : What I need is someone big and strong (Selects a
           Leader) (Leader will probably make some comments, but
           let him talk and get him to pull the rope)
Mower    : (Splutters, coughs, starts to vibrate and run)
Owner    : There.  All it needed was a good jerk.


The Lost Lollipop

(Small boy is sitting, crying)

Passer-by #1: (Enters) What's wrong little boy, why are you
              crying?
Boy         : (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop !
Passer-by #1: Have you looked for it ?
Boy         : (Continues to sob) Oh, yes, I've looked under my
              bed, in my sock drawer, and even in Charlie's
              pocket.
Passer-by #1: I've heard that chanting often works.  You think
              very hard about the lollipop until you can see it
              in your mind, and chant 'lollipop' over and over
              again.
Boy         : (Closing eyes tightly) Big red yummy lollipop, big
              red yummy lollipop, big red yummy lollipop.
Passer-by #1: (Nods approval and strolls out)
Boy         : (Continues chanting for a while, then starts crying
              again)
Passer-by #2: (Enters) What's wrong, little boy ?
Boy         : (Sobbing) I lost my lollipop, and I hunted and
              hunted, then this man told me to chant, and I did,
              and it didn't work !
Passer-by #2: Chanted ?
Boy         : Yeah, like this (Demonstrates, then starts to cry)
Passer-by #2: Don't cry little boy.  Maybe we need more help.
Boy         : (Turns to audience) You're my only help to get my
              lollipop back.  Everybody, very softly now, chant
              with me, "Big red yummy lollipop, big red yummy
              lollipop, big red yummy lollipop." (Gets everyone
              doing it in unison) Great !  I think it's working,
              keep going now.
Passer-by #1: (Re-enters) Hi little boy.  Did it work ?
Boy         : (Loudly) No, it didn't, but I did find a whole lot
              of suckers !


The Brutal Miner

(Each character in the skit has a distinctive sound to make when
the Narrator says their name during the reading of the skit.  The
Narrator should pause, after reading the name of each character
so they can make their sound and for audience reaction.)

   Brutal Miner           Grrrrrrrrrr
   Tired Wife             Oh dear.
   Lazy Son               (Yawning sound)
   Young Daughter         (Giggles)
   Beautiful Daughter     "Ahhhhh"
   Handsome Harry         Ah Ha !
   Automobile             Honk Honk
   Cat                    Meow

Narrator:

Once upon a time in the far west, there lived a BRUTAL MINER, who
had a TIRED WIFE, a LAZY SON, a giggling YOUNG DAUGHTER, and a
BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER.  On the other side of the mountain lived
HANDSOME HARRY.  This young man drove his AUTOMOBILE over the
mountains and carried mail to the BRUTAL MINER.

One day, the TIRED WIFE was cleaning the house.  The BEAUTIFUL
DAUGHTER was helping her.  The YOUNG DAUGHTER was playing with
the CAT on the steps and the LAZY SON was sleeping.  The BRUTAL
MINER came out and kicked the CAT.  The TIRED WIFE and the
BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER rushed out with brooms and hit the BRUTAL
MINER, but this did not bother him.  He grabbed the TIRED WIFE by
one arm and the BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER by the other and shoved them
into the house.  The YOUNG DAUGHTER ran away with the CAT.

Just then, HANDSOME HARRY drove up in his AUTOMOBILE and saw the
BRUTAL MINER beating the TIRED WIFE and the BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER.
HANDSOME HARRY rushed to the rescue and grabbed the BRUTAL MINER
and threw him down the mine shaft.  The BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER flew
into the waiting arms of HANDSOME HARRY, while the TIRED WIFE and
the YOUNG DAUGHTER watched with enthusiasm.  The LAZY SON slept
on.

HANDSOME HARRY took the BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER in his AUTOMOBILE to
the little church in the wildwood and they lived happily every
after.


Chief Woodpussy

(Each character in the skit has a distinctive sound to make when
the Narrator says their name during the reading of the skit.  The
Narrator should pause, after reading the name of each character
so they can make their sound, and for audience reaction.)


   Cowboy                 Yippee !
   Old Paintbrush         (Whinney)
   Chief Woodpussy        (Makes war whoop)
   Sitting Bull           Hee Haw
   Emma                   (Rattles stones in tin)
   Timber Wolf            Howooooo
   Sheriff                Bang Bang.
   Deputy                 He went that-a-way

Narrator:

Once upon a time there was a COWBOY who went out into the desert,
riding his horse, OLD PAINTBRUSH.  Far off in the distance, he
could hear the TIMBER WOLF.  The COWBOY made camp and went fast
asleep, first making sure OLD PAINTBRUSH was secure.

Now, creeping through the desert was CHIEF WOODPUSSY riding his
mule SITTING BULL.  He was pursued by the SHERIFF and his DEPUTY.
In his pocket, CHIEF WOODPUSSY had his trained rattlesnake, EMMA,
who was trained to creep up and bite the COWBOY and his horse.
While CHIEF WOODPUSSY crept up, OLD PAINTBRUSH watched the camp,
the TIMBER WOLF howled, the COWBOY snored, and SITTING BULL ate
cactus.

In the meantime, the SHERIFF and his DEPUTY sprang their trap.
"Halt, you are my prisoner !" shouted the SHERIFF.  The COWBOY
woke up and mounted his horse, OLD PAINTBRUSH, which frightened
the TIMBER WOLF and EMMA.

Away went old CHIEF WOODPUSSY on his faithful mule, SITTING BULL,
and after them went the SHERRIF, his DEPUTY, the COWBOY and OLD
PAINTBRUSH.  But old CHIEF WOODPUSSY led them into a blind
canyon, so that was the last anybody ever saw of the COWBOY, OLD
PAINTBRUSH, EMMA, the rattlesnake, the TIMBER WOLF, the mule,
SITTING BULL, the SHERIFF, or his DEPUTY.


The Compass

Props: A good compass and a map

Announcer: In this scene, we see a Scoutmaster teaching a Patrol
           about maps and compass.

Scoutmaster: Now fellows, if you take a bearing from the map this
             way you can now stand up and, keeping the compass
             away from your belt buckle, walk along the bearing
             until you reach your destination.  John, you try
             that.
John       : (Does as instructed, exits, re-enters)
Scoutmaster: (Standing) In the same way you can take a bearing on
             a distant object, and use that to find where you are
             on the map.  Now, each of you take a bearing on that
             big tree on the hill top.
Other boys : (Do as instructed, passing compass around, making
             suitable comments.)
Scoutmaster: (After a few moments) All right, let's all gather
             around.  That wraps up tonight's compass lesson.
             There is just one more important point !  Never,
             never buy a TATES compass.
Tom        : Scouter, why should we never buy a TATES compass ?
Scoutmaster: You know the old saying: "He who has a TATES is
             lost!"


Fishing

(The scene opens with the two players rowing an imaginary boat.)

Andrew: Whew!  It sure is a long way out here.
Robert: Yep. (puts hand to eyes)  I can't see the shore anymore.
        Ready to start fishing ?
Andrew: I think so.  Looks like a good spot to me.

(Both ready imaginary rods, reels, hooks, worms, etc., and start
fishing.  Immediately they both start to catch fish, recast and
catch more.  Continue for several casts.)

Andrew: I told you this would be a good spot.
Robert: Sure is, the boat's full.  Guess we have our limit..
        better get back.
Andrew: O.K.  (gets oars ready)
Robert: Did you use a map to get here ?
Andrew: Nope.
Robert: How are we ever gonna find our way back tomorrow ?
Andrew: Oh, that's easy.  I'll just mark the spot with a big X
        right here on the side of the boat ! (makes mark - both
        row away quickly)


Gathering of Nuts

Vincent: I am the famous artist, Vincent Van Go Go.  I have come
         here this evening at great expense to create one of my
         living nature paintings which will express the
         atmosphere of this camp !  First I am going to need some
         trees.  (Two trees are selected from the participants in
         the audience, and are directed where to stand.  They
         wave their arms gently.)

Vincent: Now I will need some birds to twitter among the trees.
         (Three birds are selected and they move around the trees
         making twittering sounds.)

Vincent: (Stands back to view scene) Perhaps a sun to shine on
         everything. (A tall participant stands on a bench and
         smiles brightly.)

Vincent: (Again viewing) It's not right yet.  I know, some
         rabbits hopping around.  (Assistant Leaders are chosen
         for rabbits)

Vincent: One last touch.  A babbling brook.  Scouter, will you be
         the brook, you're always babbling ?  (The brook takes
         his place.)

Vincent: (Turns to audience) There it is, another Vincent Van Go
         Go original nature scene.  I call it "The Gathering of
         the Nuts."


Go Cart

(One participant is on hands and knees as the 'Go Cart')

Driver : Oh, this fool Go Cart is always giving me trouble !  Now
         the front wheel has come off.  (Selects member of
         audience)  Would you come over and give me a hand.
         Thanks.  (Selected person may have some comments to
         respond to - then they are led to the cart.)
Driver : Here, if you would just be the wheel I need.  That's
         right, get down on your hands and knees up there and be
         the front wheel.  Now let me try it again.  (Driver gets
         on car, tries to start it up.)
Go Cart: (Makes sputtering noises, starts, moves forward, then
         sags and sputters out.)
Driver : Now what is it ?  (Driver moves to rear, lifts cart,
         lets go and cart sags again.)
Driver : Now that old suspension has gone, I need more help.
         (Selects someone else)  Please come over here and be the
         suspension.  That's right, just hold the back end up
         there.  Now I'll try it again. (Gets on car, starts
         engine.)
Go Cart: (Sputters to life, moves forward, wobbles, and stops)
Driver : (Getting off)  Oh, no.  Now the rear wheel is loose.
         I'll go and get more help.  (Selects more help)  (New
         help is positioned at rear wheel.)
Driver:  This wheel is loose.  If you will just hold the wheel
         (indicates leg) tightly so it doesn't fall off, you'll
         be a big help.  Thanks.  (Driver gets on cart, starts
         engine)
Go Cart: (Starts up, runs fine, moves forward)
Driver : (Braking to halt) Oh, that's perfect now !  All I needed
         was a few NUTS to get it going !


Good Soup

Props: a large pot, several spoons, and a floor mop.  A chef's
hat would also be useful.

Announcer:  This scene takes place in the camp Dining Hall.

(Several boys are seated around a large pot, sampling the
imaginary contents with the spoons.)

Scott : Boy, this is sure good soup.
Brad  : Yep, it's got REAL flavor.
David : Sure is, why it's even better than my Mom makes.
Mathew: Oh yeah.  It's the best food I've eaten at camp all week.
Cook  : (Enters waving floor mop and shouting) Hey you guys !
        Get out of my mop water !!!


Letters from Home

Props: Two sheets of paper.

Scott: (Enters)  Gee, it's always nice to get a letter from home
       when you're at camp.
Robin: (Enters) Hey, look, I got a letter from my Mom.
Scott: Me too.  Listen, my Mom says she's writing this letter
       slowly, because she knows I can't read fast.
Robin: Mine says I won't know the house when I come home..
       They've moved !
Scott: Oh, my Dad has a new job with 500 men under him.  He's
       cutting the grass at the cemetery.
Robin: Our neighbors started keeping pigs.  Mom got wind of it
       this morning.
Scott: Oh, my goodness.  My little brother came home from school
       crying because all the other boys had new clothes and we
       can't afford any for him.  Mom says she got him a new hat
       and lets him stand in the window.
Robin: There was a washing machine in the new house.  But my Mom
       put four shirts in it, pulled the handle and they
       disappeared.  Guess it doesn't work right.
Scott: My Mom had her appendix out and a dishwasher put in.  And,
       oh, my sister had a baby this morning.  Mom doesn't know
       if I'm an Aunt or and Uncle, because she doesn't know yet
       if it's a boy or a girl.
Robin: Oh, dear, there's a P.S.  It says, I was going to send you
       $ 10.00, but I had already sealed the envelope.
Scott: Well, it's nice to know things are normal at home.
Robin: Yep.  (Both exit)

(With this skit it is possible to put each boy's script on a
sheet of paper, and they can read it out, as though they were
reading the letter.  They should rehearse, of course, to make it
sound natural.)


Lunch Break

Props: Lunch bags or pails.

Announcer:  We see here a construction site.  It is now lunch
            time, and two friends are about to eat.

Worker 1: (Opens lunch bag and looks very disgusted) Yechhhh !!
          Egg salad sandwiches again !
Worker 2: Look, if you hate them that bad, I'll swap with you.
          (Both pretend to eat, then exit.)

Announcer: The next day.

Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks very
          disgusted)  Yechhhh !!! Egg salad sandwiches again !
Worker 2: O.K... I'll trade with you again.  (Both pretend to
          eat, then exit.)

Announcer: The next day.

Worker 1: (Enters with Worker 2, opens lunch bag and looks very
           disgusted) Yechhh !!  Egg salad sandwiches again !
Worker 2: (Angrily) Look, if you don't like egg salad sandwiches,
          why don't you ask your (wife/mom/significant other) to
          make something else ?
Worker 1: My (wife/mom/significant other)?? She's got nothing to
          do with it.  I make my own sandwiches !

New Saw

Announcer:  This scene takes place in a hardware store in a small
north woods lumber town.

Lumberjack: (Enters) My old crosscut saw is worn out, and I need
            something that will let me cut more wood, or I'm
            going to go broke !
Owner     : Yes, sir !  For only one hundred bucks you can be the
           proud owner of this chain saw.  I guarantee that it
           will cut twice as much wood in a day as your own
           crosscut.
Lumberjack: (Handing over money) O.K. great ! (Exits)

Announcer:  The next day.

Lumberjack: (Enters tiredly)  There's something wrong with this
            saw.  I worked very hard yesterday, and only cut half
           as much wood.
Owner     : Well, sir, I have a lot of faith in this product.
            Here, I'll put a new chain on it and you give it
            another try.
Lumberjack: O.K., but if it doesn't do any better, I'll be back !
           (Exits)

Announcer: The next day.

Lumberjack: (Enters exhausted)  This darned saw is no good.  I
            worked even harder, and still it won't cut half the
            wood of my old saw !  I want my money back !
Owner     : Yes, sir !  Just let me check it out here.  (Pulls
            starter rope
Announcer: (Makes sound effects of saw running.)
Lumberjack: Oh, my gosh ! What on earth is all that noise ?


Puppy in the Box

Props: A cardboard box, and a stuffed dog (or rabbit, etc.)

Announcer:  This scene takes place on the street outside a
grocery store.

(Several participants are gathered around outside the store,
chatting.)

Roger : (Enters holding the box)  Hi guys, would you please hold
      this box for me while I go into the store ? (Exits)
Martin: I wonder what's in the box ?
Gerry : I don't know, but something is leaking out !
Bob   : (Rubs finger against the bottom of box, then licks
        finger)  Hmmm, it tastes like lemon soda.
Martin: (Also rubs box and tastes finger)  No.  I think it's more
       like chicken soup.
Roger : (Returns, looks in box) Oh, you naughty puppy !


Fly in the Soup

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup !
Waiter  : (Enters, very snooty, peering into the soup)  Oh, yes,
          you are right sir.  That will be an extra 25 cents for
        the meat.
Customer: But waiter, he's swimming all over the top !
Waiter  : (Still snooty) You are right, sir.  It doesn't know
          it's a fly, sir.  It's doing the Butterfly stroke.
Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian !
Waiter  : Why do you say that sir ?
Customer: BECAUSE IT'S DOWN UNDER NOW !


Someone Chanted Evening

Props: Blankets and rope to make Monk's Cassock.

Friar: Good morning, everyone.
Monks: Good morning.
Friar: For our Matin, we are going to practice chanting.  All
       together now, repeat after me: (Chanting) Morning,
       morning, mor-or-ning.
Monks: (Rather raggedly) Morning, morning, mor-or-ning.
Friar: Not bad, but we need to get more feeling and rhythm into
       it.  Let's try again.  (A couple more attempts are made,
       each one better, then on the third try it sounds
       excellent, but one Monk chants loud and clear, "Ev-en-
       ning".)
Friar: Cut, Cut !  What was that ?
Brother Daniel: What's wrong, Friar ?  I thought it sounded good.
Friar: (Breaking into song) Someone Chanted Evening !


St. Peter

Announcer:  Here we see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

Ian      : (Walks up to St. Peter) Hello, St. Peter.  I see I've
         come to Heaven.
St. Peter: Well, you're not in yet !  First you've got to tell me
          how you suffered on Earth.
Ian      : Well, I spent a week eating camp food.
St. Peter: I'm sorry, you haven't suffered enough.  (Ian exits
           dejectedly.)
Doug     : (Enters) Hi, I'm here to get into Heaven.
St. Peter: Fine, fine.  And how have you suffered ?
Doug     : I went on a long hike and got blisters all over my
           feet.
St. Peter: Sorry.  That's not enough suffering to get into
           Heaven. (Doug exits)
Brad     : (Enters) Can I get into Heaven ?
St. Peter: How did you suffer ?
Brad     : I'm in (Pick someone's name who can take a joke)
           (troop/pack/six/class, etc.)
St. Peter: Well, come on in !!


------------------------------

End of part 1, File 'scouting/1_skits/part1'.

-------------------------------------------

This file is part two of skits and yells. Introductory text is contained
in the first file.

Part 2 has been completely replaced by a contribution by Daniel Moss.
As it proved too difficult to merge the file into the FAQ, we dropped
the old part 2 (which has been circulating on rec.scouting for over a year)
and replaced it with Daniel Moss' article.

This file is in digested format, like all FAQ files on this newsgroup.
If you're using nn as newsreader, type 'G %" to split the digest into
individual postings. In bn or rn, typing control-G should cause the
reader to skip to the next posting within this file. However, this file
comes from one resource so it will not split as others do.

This file or parts of it may be freely used, printed and re-distributed
as long as you enclose this paragraph and keep the references to the
respective contributors and to the maintainer(s) (listed below) intact.

-- Danny Schwendener         dannys@iis.ee.ethz.ch
   Wolfsmeute Nidau/Glockenhof, Sihlstr. 33, CH-8001 Zurich, Switzerland

-- Jack Mortimer         jemorti@relay.nswc.navy.mil