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alt.romance "FAQ" (part 2 of 3) [posted monthly]
Section - #8# What do women want?

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See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge
 From: Karen Ronan <ronan@mendel.berkeley.edu>  @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}--
 subject: Re: Women are all the same...

>Why do women have time for everything and everyone else but me?

Are you interesting to talk to?  Are you clean, well-groomed?  Do you
have a sense of humor?  Do you listen to people?  Do you project some
self-confidence?  Do you have ideas for places to go with a woman?  Do
you have any flair for conversation?  Do you have decent social skills?
Are you fairly intelligent, well read, passionate about something?  Do
you show any emotions?

Just a few things that I look for in potential mates.

Good luck,
Karen


 From: fsquared@eff.org (Fawn Fitter)  @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}--
 subject: Re: What do you want to know about a potential SO?

mmcohen@cats.ucsc.edu (Michael M Cohen) writes:

>A question for all you romantics: When you are talking with
>a potential SO, what are the questions you want answered
>before deciding that you want to enter a relationship?

Before I get involved with him, or before we take the step that leads from
casual dating to serious one-on-one exploration of whether we could have a
future together?

If the former, the list is pretty short:
- is he single?
- does he smoke, use drugs, or drink to excess?
- is he HIV-negative?
- does he have children from a previous relationship?
- is he politically progressive?
- is he attractive -- not handsome, necessarily, but not butt-ugly (a technical
  term, mind you!) either?
- does he treat women with the same respect he gives to men?
- how's his sense of humor?

If the latter, tack on these things, too:
- do we have any recreational interests in common?
- is he good in bed?
- is he curious about and interested in my work?
- do we aspire to the same kind of lifestyle?
- is he a "city person," or does he prefer the suburban or rural life?
- how does he feel about his family?
- how does he feel about my family?
- is he interested in and open to personal change?
- what are his spiritual/religious beliefs, and do they conflict with mine?
- can he fight fair, or does he have a temper?
- are we friends as well as lovers?
- is he responsible?
- how good is he at expressing his feelings?

and so on, and so on. I always wonder how I managed to survive in the years
before I started choosing my relationships with as much attention as I give
to choosing a new car...


 From: weaver@weitek.COM (Michael Gordon Weaver)  @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}-,-`- @}-
 subject: Re: What do women find attractive in men?

>Subject line says it all. I'm perpetually perplexed about this. Sorry if it's
>FAQ.

As a man, I cannot speak for women. But I would like to comment.
I think that a better question is 'what can I do to be more attractive
to women'. (If you really want to be able to predict who will be considered
more attractive by some group of women, then you can stop reading now).

If you want to be more attractive to women, I think the first thing you
have to realize is that you only make small changes in yourself. You
can't make yourself taller, shorter or change your basic personality.
Don't waste time worrying about things you can't change.

Another important point is that people pay more attention to
attitude and personality than to appearance. You should try to
be well groomed and keep in shape, of course. But if you are going
to make a good impression, you are going to have to do it by projecting
your personality, not by looking good.

You want women to be interested in you, not impressed. You might get
some attention by doing something impressive, but usually this
attention is short-lived.  The most effective way to get someone
interested in you is to show an interest in them. If you adopt an
attitude that is accepting and open, and show that you are interested
in the other person (by asking questions, and paying attention to her
answers), you will seem very interesting.  Avoid speaking negatively.
When someone hears you say negative things, they unconsciously fear
that you will speak of them negatively. Try to get her to speak about
herself. People have a great need to express themselves, and everyone
needs someone to listen to them.

Paying attention to someone and being a good listener will help make
the other person interested in you, but if that is all you
do, you will be taken for granted. To keep this from happening, you
need to demonstrate some independence. Show that you have a life of
your own. While you should keep the focus on her, when she talks about
something in her life, you can briefly mention something in your life
that is similar. If you do a variety of things in your life, it should
be easy to appear independent. On the other hand, if you act like you
are never too busy to drop everything to see her, and that as far as
you are concerned there are no other women in the world, you will
be seen as dependent. Dependency is unattractive.

Peace,
Michael.


 From: dobbs@ast.saic.com (Lynn Bruce Dobbs)  @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}-,--
 subject: Re: What do women find attractive in men?

[...]
My female best buddy told me that she didn't like to answer this
question because her view of attractiveness varied with every man
she knows.

She and I agree that attractiveness is not a receipe to follow.
Besides the basics of hygene and curtesy (and not always those)
little can be said that translates to "ultimate truth" for any
given woman about any given man.  I maintain that the same holds
true for men.

Lynn 'a guess based on personal experience and a very close
	 friend who hasn't lied to be yet :-)'


 From: ez040933@hamlet.ucdavis.edu (Melissa Hynes)  @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}-,-`---
 subject: Re: The Six C's of Getting a Date (for men)

Boy oh boy, do you have a twisted sense of what women want!
The "perfect" guy you outlined sounds like a perfect horror.

: :    CASH:     One of the first things you need,

Cash is handy if you want to go anywhere, but most wealthy guys are a lot
more arrogant, domineering, and all-around stuck up jerks than your
average guy.

: :    CAR:      The fancier, the better. It shows

A guy with a fancy car at this age means that either A. his folks bought it
for him, which means he's used to having everything handed to him, or B.
He has absolutely no maturity in the way he spends his money.  I had an
ex who had a VERY nice car, he focused all his time and energy and money
on it and got kicked out of his apartment for spending the rent money on
a new paint job.

: :    CAREER:   Will impress the woman, and also

Ah yes,all women everywhere wants a type A overachiever who spends all
his time in his career and never saying a word to us except to hand us
cash.  Pretty fuckin shallow.  Sounds exactly like my dad as a matter of
fact.

: :    CASTLE:   If you don't own a house, or have

According to whom??  If a guy OWNS A HOUSE at this stage in life, it
falls into the same guidelines as the car...no normal guy should have
that much money yet unless he's a bank robber.

: :    COMBAT:   You must show the woman that you
: :              are willing and able to be the kind
: :              of manipulative and controlling
: :              male that is able to fight and

Oh no.  No no no no NO NO!  "Manipulative and controlling" guys are the
most psychologically screwed up people there are!  Ever see "Sleeping
With the Enemy"?!  If a guy started trying to control my life and play
with my mind, I'd run away as fast as I possibly could!!

: :    COCK:     It doesn't hurt to have a BIG one! Or

You're dead wrong on this one.  IT DOES HURT!!!  Trust me, I experienced
it once and never again!!!  Not all women are built like Mason jars.  IT
DOES HURT LIKE HELL!!!

And sir, if you have all of these qualities accomplished, I wish you the
best of luck in your philosophy, and pray to the gods that I never meet you.

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