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alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Section - 15). How do I explain this to people?

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Top Document: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Previous Document: 14). How does a person start (or continue) a poly relationship?
Next Document: 16). Is there a secret alt.poly handshake?
See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge
     David Rostcheck says:

	 "You don't have to explain yourself at all, or answer to
	 anyone.  You're happy. Your feelings require no
	 justification. It's a mistake to try to reconcile what you
	 feel with a social classification, because the classification
	 may not really suit you.  You start with your feelings,
	 understand them and be comfortable with them. You, your
	 feeling, and the people you care about are the important
	 things.  You're getting in this unnatural, inverted position
	 of trying to explain yourself. You don't have to explain
	 yourself to the world. You just are, and your relationship
	 just is. If other people want to understand it, then you try
	 to explain to them in basic terms what you feel, and that
	 you're happy.

	 "Here's how I'd deal with some specific questions:

	 ":Are you seeing my daughter or this other girl?
	   I'm seeing them both.

	 ":So you're cheating on her?
	   No. They both know; we're all friends and we're happy that
	   way.

	 ":Well, which do you love?
	   I love them both.

	 ":Which do you love more?
	   I don't understand the question. They're different
	   people. How do you measure?

	 ":Why don't you commit to one of them?
	   Why can't I commit to both of them?

	 "See? You don't have to bend over backwards to express
	 yourself in their terms. They may have to learn your terms to
	 understand you.  You're not the one who doesn't understand;
	 they have to put in the work to comprehend you. Remember, the
	 bunch of you have something that comes naturally and feels
	 right for you; whether or not other people get it is a
	 secondary issue. As long as you do what you want you'll be
	 happy.

	 "Does that help any?"


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Top Document: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Previous Document: 14). How does a person start (or continue) a poly relationship?
Next Document: 16). Is there a secret alt.poly handshake?

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Last Update March 27 2014 @ 02:12 PM