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alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Section - 11). How can I tell if I am polyamorous?

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Top Document: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Previous Document: 10). Do polyamorous relationships last?
Next Document: 12). What about living together and commitment and marriage and all that?
See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge
     I'm not sure; only you will know, and according to the philosophy
     of some folks, people aren't polyamorous, although behavior can
     be.  Some people find that approach useful, and others prefer to
     think of "polyamorous people".
 
     Some polyfolk tend to recognize themselves in the descriptions,
     and can only be restrained with difficulty from jumping up and
     down and screeching, "See!  See!  I *knew* it wasn't just me!
     Hooray!"  If you aren't sure you're poly, the best practice is
     probably to act kindly and responsibly, and to communicate
     clearly to the best of your ability as you learn; come to think
     of it, that's the best practice for polyfolk, too, so you'll be
     one of the crowd anyhow.  Besides, being polyamorous is not
     inherently "better" than being monogamous, so there's no need to
     feel like you have to pledge allegiance or anything like that
     just to hang out and look at the questions.

     Another thing to consider is that the word "polyamorous" is, like
     all labels, just a tool.  What you do and how you treat the
     people you love is probably more important to them, in the long
     run, than whether you fit a particular descriptive term, so don't
     sweat it, okay?  And take good care of each other.

     An alternate point of view:

	 "There aren't polyamorous and monogamous people; there are
	 polyamorous and monogamous relationships. The same person may
	 at various times be happy in both monogamous and polyamorous
	 relationships at various times in his/her life. What is right
	 depends on you and your feelings, and the feelings of those
	 you are involved in relationships with. You may at some times
	 be involved in a relationship that is monogamous, and that
	 may be the right thing for the people in that relationship;
	 at other times, you may be in a relationship which works
	 better as part of a polyamorous network of relationships.  In
	 any case, the important thing is probably to act kindly and
	 responsibly, and to communicate clearly with intimate
	 partners and potential partners about these issues. Don't
	 deny your feelings or the feelings of those that you care
	 about. Get in touch with how you and those you care about
	 really feel, rather than how society wants you to feel, or
	 how you think it would be logical to feel, or how you've been
	 told polyamorous people (or monogamous people) should
	 feel. Then behave in ways which are honest, and which make
	 you, and the people you care about, and the people they care
	 about, happy and fulfilled. If this results in you having
	 more than one intimate relationship at the same time, or
	 being involved in a relationship with more than two people,
	 those who are big on categorizing and labeling people will
	 label you a 'poly person'."

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Top Document: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Previous Document: 10). Do polyamorous relationships last?
Next Document: 12). What about living together and commitment and marriage and all that?

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Last Update March 27 2014 @ 02:12 PM