Top Document: soc.culture.jewish FAQ: Jewish Childrearing Related Questions (12/12) Previous Document: Question 21.2.6: Naming: What are the Sephardi customs regarding the naming of children? Next Document: Question 21.2.8: Naming: Are there any distinctly non-Jewish names? See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge Answer: * Orthodoxy: Traditional Jewish law is that if a child dies before reaching the age of 30 days, no formal burial is required. Such a child is considered a nefel, and for such a child, no burial and no mourning rites are required (Ket. 20b; Shab. 135b; Evel Rabati I; etc.) The Shulhan Arukah addresses whether a eulogy is permitted; it says for the children of the poor, it may be done from the age of five and onward; and for the children of the rich, from six and onward (M.K. 24b; Shulhan Arukh 344.4). This shows that, traditionally, little was made of infant deaths. Further, a nefel was treated as an amputated limb, and buried in the general section of the cemetary (Ket. 20b) to avoid ritual uncleanliness for the priests (M. Edut 6.3; Yad Hil. Tumat Hamet 2.3; Pahad Yitzhaq, Ever). Note that, strictly speaking, it was not necessary to bury amputated limbs (Shulhan Arukh, Yoreh Deah #209). It's very easy to think of the traditional position as "heartless." When you've lost a baby and need to grieve, it's natural that you'd want to do it in the way you're familiar with. Orthodox families in this situation are usually forced to look for alternative ways of coming to terms with their grief, since in most cases, the traditional funeral and mourning periods are not observed. This doesn't mean that nothing has happened, or that as far as Judaism is concerned, they have not experienced a loss. They still need consolation and any compassionate Orthodox rabbi and community will recognize this and do their utmost to help the family through their time of pain. * Conservative: Four papers have been validated by the Conservative movement's Commitee on Jewish law and Standards on this issue. Conservative Judaism affirms that where Jewish law allows for more than one possible position, a congregation should follow the ruling of its rabbi, who as mara d'atra [halakhic authority] has the sole responsibility and authority in his/her community for making a p'sak [ruling/decision]. The significant teshuvot are summarized below: 1. Rabbi Isidoro Aizenberg, 1987. (a) When a full-grown, full-term baby dies within 30 days after birth, there is aniut, keriah, burial, shivah and shiloshim; no eulogy is delivered and the burial is peformed by the immediate family members. If the parents wish, they may recite the kaddish for 30 days. (b) If the baby was born prematurely, the above customs should be practiced only if it died more than 30 days after its birth. (c) If the baby was born prematurely and died before 30 days are over, the baby should be treated as a fetus. There is burial, but no other rituals are practiced. In all 3 cases, should parents ask the rabbi if they may recite the kaddish, their request should not be denied. This teshuva can obtained from the CJLS by one's local Conservative rabbi. (II) 2. Rabbi Debra Reed Blank - teshuva on miscarriage. She agrees with the first teshuva for the case of a full-term baby dying within 30 days after birth. For cases when the fetus was not born alive, full mourning rites are not called for or appropriate, for that would compromise the position of classical Judaism on the legitimacy of abortion in some circumstances. However, in event of a miscarriage the community should tend to both members of the couple under the rubric of bikur holim (visiting the sick), for they are suffering from the loss of the child that they were expecting to have. The couple may recite the kaddish if they choose. This teshuva can obtained from the CJLS by one's local Conservative rabbi. 3. Rabbi Stephanie Dickstein, 1999. In an extension and revision of her 1992 paper, she also agrees with the first teshuva for the case of a full-term baby dying within 30 days after birth. For cases when the fetus was not born alive, she holds that burial in a Jewish cemetery is required for stillbirths, and she recommends a funeral service. The stillborn may be named and circumcision can, but need not, be done. The grave should be marked later. After the first day, the parents may observe the practices associated with shiva b'tzniut (private observances which do not involve the community). This teshuva is online at [5]http://learn.jtsa.edu/topics/diduknow/responsa/hatesh_conf ront.shtml Additionally, Conservative/Liberal Jewish responses to these situations can be found in Nina Beth Cardin's "Tears of Sorrow, Seeds of Hope: A Jewish Spiritual Companion for Infertility and Pregnancy Loss" (Woodstock, VT: Jewish Lights, 1999). * Reform: Reform believes that times have changed from the days of the large family and common infant deaths of tradition. This has made all events in a child's life more significant and magnified. Thsi includes the tragic death of a yong child, a still-birth, or a miscarriage. A responsa issued in 1983 (Contemporary American Reform Responsa #106) suggests that there be a simple burial for a still-born infant or a child who dies at an early age. This provides a way for the family to overcome its grief. It indicates that a miscarriage may, however, be disposed of by the hospital or clinic in accordance with its usual procedures. Not burial is necessary in such a case, but it is not prohibited either. They do suggest burial for infants, and possibly for still-births. Personal autonomy allows laypeople and rabbis to observe or not observe as they see fit. User Contributions:Top Document: soc.culture.jewish FAQ: Jewish Childrearing Related Questions (12/12) Previous Document: Question 21.2.6: Naming: What are the Sephardi customs regarding the naming of children? Next Document: Question 21.2.8: Naming: Are there any distinctly non-Jewish names? Single Page [ Usenet FAQs | Web FAQs | Documents | RFC Index ] Send corrections/additions to the FAQ Maintainer: SCJ FAQ Maintainer <maintainer@scjfaq.org>
Last Update March 27 2014 @ 02:11 PM
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