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alt.spleen FAQ - Contents (v5.8, part 1 of 5)

( Part1 - Part2 - Part3 - Part4 - Part5 )
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Archive-name: alt-spleen/faq/part1
Posting-Frequency: monthly
Last-modified: 1998/8/17
Version: 5.8
Maintainer: Andrew Stellman <>

See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge
                          the official alt.spleen
                       - Frequently Asked Questions -
                             by Andrew Stellman

                                 version 5.8
                            last modified 8/17/98

             -> As featured in Internet Underground, issue #7 <-


             this FAQ is available on the World Wide Web

             or you can download the text files

             and visit the Spleen Emporium!




Table of Contents:

  I. Basic Spleen Facts 

- What is the purpose of alt.spleen?
- Can I vent my spleen on alt.spleen? 
- Are these questions *REALLY* frequently asked?
- Is this the only FAQ?
- Did you really write a script to convert this FAQ into HTML?
- So what is that spleen thing, anyway?
- Do I have a spleen?
- How do I care for my spleen?
- Where did the spleen get such a beautiful name?
- Are the rumors of spleen violence true?
- Does the spleen change size or shape? Like, does it get big?
- No, I mean *REALLY* big. What happens when the spleen gets *REALLY* big?
- Who is Faisal?
- Does alt.spleen get a lot of traffic?
- Was this FAQ really featured in Internet Underground magazine?

  II. General Spleen Tips

- Has there ever been a case of accidental rupturing of the spleen?
- How can I keep my spleen clean?
- What about nutrition?
- Are there vegetarian alternatives?
- Can I splendify my spleen by adding aluminum siding?
- If your spleen accidentally OD's what is the proper dosage of adrenaline 
  to administer in the emergency injection?
- What is the estimated time that the spleen can remain unconscious before
  permenant damage is inevitable? 
- Upon recovery, which overpriced movie house confectionry would be best
  to feed it?
- What happens when you swallow phlegm? Why would a spleen care?
- Is there such thing as a "second spleen"? Do some people have more than 
  one spleen? Can this "second spleen" be donated?
- Does giving blood have any adverse effects on the spleen?
- Why do squirrels seem so interested in me?
- How do you get rid of a spleen?
- When I die, should I convert my spleen to binary and post it to alt.spleen?

  III. Spleen Trivia

- Who created alt.spleen, and why?
- Who has the most spleens?
- Who is Geoff?
- What is trephination?
- Does trephination hurt your spleen?
- So why all this mention of Spam? Where does it come from?
- What is "boogaloo", and what does it have to do with Margaret Thatcher?
- Has your mother really read this FAQ?
- Did Andy Warhol really lose his spleen?
- What did Ricky say when Lucy came home with an extra spleen?
- So, who died and made Keith "God of the newsgroup?"
- I've heard rumors of a secret spleen club. Are these rumors true?
- Why would anyone want a girlfriend WITHOUT a spleen?  
- Lately my spleen has been ordering pizzas and expects me to pay. 
  Surely this is unfair as I have been a good host. Furthermore, how
  could my spleen be using the phone?
- Who is the patron Young One of alt.spleen?
- What's all this "ob" stuff?
- Is there a zine called SPLEEN?
- Where can I find out more about the spleen?


Appendix A: Free Speech, Censorship and the alt.spleen FAQ

Appendix B: A Message from the Producers of TV's "Flipper"

Appendix C: Bibliography


Do you have any questions, comments or additions? I'd like your input! Contact
me (, and I'll be happy to help you in any way that I can. 
Please do not send me medical questions, though, since I am not a doctor and
have no medical knowledge.

Have a splendid day!

User Contributions:

Comment about this article, ask questions, or add new information about this topic:


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Last Update March 27 2014 @ 02:11 PM