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OK, yes I'm new at this personally. I've know many people...

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Question by johnnyB
Submitted on 12/11/2003
Related FAQ: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
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OK, yes I'm new at this personally.   I've know many people that was poly as well as swingers and know the difference.

I've meet a woman thru a dating service, an expensive one, and after going thru their process we started to communicate.

Our views on spirituality and life have been so refreshing.   We both seem to have this foundation of trust, honesty and openness.

She started out saying she was Bi, then asked my views on Polyamory.   I have been marred twice before, and never had myself or them go outside the marriage.   So, I guess I say I have been raised the old fashion way.

As I have read your FAQ, which was great by the way, I feel most of my questions have been answered.

I know I have a jealous side to me, and if a woman treats me well, I don't think I can just go off and participate in a relationship.   As I would not like to have my partner do the same, as I would feel that I have faltered in some way.

But after reading as much as I have, I "have" loved more than one person at a time, although never physically.   Because I guess it is all about making love, not just having sex.

I am really happy with this person, we have not met face to face yet, but she is the type that I have been able to let the guards down, if you may, and have complete understanding that she is not out to hurt me in anyway.   I find this such a breath of fresh air!

So I'm going to respond to her on my feelings on polyamory to her, which I've seemed to come to grips with.

I know the difference between the swingers and the polyamory groups as I've seen them both.  I definitely can not be involved in a serious relationship based on a swingers group.   But I do feel comfortable amongst those of the polyamory life style.

So, I guess my question would be to those who live a true polyamory lifestyle,   as I learn more about true polyamory thru readings on this and other related websites, would I be just fooling myself because of this woman, or are my feelings of this for real?   As I am tuned into my own spirituality, my heart is telling me more and more everyday, I feel like a blossoming flower and open to everything that I used to fear.

How did you feel when all of this started in your own lives?


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