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I'm sixteen years old and have polyamorous feelings. I have...

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Question by Dark_Child
Submitted on 12/10/2003
Related FAQ: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
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I'm sixteen years old and have polyamorous feelings. I have fondness towards the concept of polyamorous relationships. I believe love isn't discriminatory, and it's innate for a human to want to explore and share love with others. I take comfort in the fact that intamacy can be shared by more than just two people.

My questions are: How do I intially explain my ideas on my polyamorous views to posssible partners? And how do I explain this to my parents?

I don't intentionally seek an open relationship, but if the situation presented itself, I would be more than apt to partaking in it.

Answer by Life on your own terms
Submitted on 12/10/2003
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Other people might write in and congratulate you for being so emotionally mature for your age. I won't do that because it has a tinge of condescendence to it. Rather, if your maturity and ability to amass this much insight has brought you this far, you will find the way to express yourself when the situations present themselves. You said it yourself, human beings have a strong need to share their love with others. Love does not necessarily have an "end," so you when you love a person it doesn't mean you have to stop loving them and move on to the next person. Relationships do not have to look like assembly lines. There are as many different ways to love as there are people, because love has to serve people, not the other way around. This love--without emotional obligations or loyalties--is one that is rich with possibilities. And if people tell you, "It doesn't work" or your own experience includes a measure of pain, it might help to remember that nothing is perfect (and how boring that would be). There are good days and bad days for anyone, for everyone. There is a difference between thrill seekers and those that take calculated risks. If you act and speak independently and responsibly--and this is as "traditional" a value as I can think of--and make decisions on your own terms rather than what "they" expect from you, you are closer to the meaning of your own being.


Answer by leFOXX
Submitted on 2/6/2004
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When you get a boyfriend, if you would evever venture down the road of intimate and honest communication, this question will probably pop up sometime. Thats how it was for me.

As for parents: It's NONE of their business.
(this is your life, NOT theirs)  Some parents take more a role of a dictator in the attempt to reach "what is best for you". These probably are impossible to communicate with.

If this is the case, thalk to an adult you know, and who would listen. If this person is your parent(s): Congratulations! You're in luck!


Answer by Dagmar
Submitted on 4/20/2004
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   I am only a few years older than you are, and the best way of introducing the concept to possible partners is by easing them into it. I waited several months to tell the person whom I was seeing was that I am bisexual. Then I mentioned a threesome, and then slowly but surely we agreed seeing other people yet not changing the status of our own relationship was a viable option. I now am engaged to him, and have two other men I am very involved with.
   Be careful whom you approach. Many people in the late teen to twenty something age range will play you false. Get to know someone well before you attempt to tell them of your feelings about polyamory, because it is taboo in many places.


Answer by Is it too late?
Submitted on 7/9/2007
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What about A.I.D's? or H.I.V? As well as all those other disease's? It doesn'twork well...


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