If you have a primary partner, and both of you wish to have...

<< Back to: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Answer by Naes
Submitted on 5/5/2004
Rating:	Rate this answer:
The first thing you have to remember is that there are no rules, no right way, or wrong way. Actually, I take that back, the rule is that you have to be open and honest with all parties involved. Beyond that, you need to talk to your partner to figure out what works best for you. My partner and I brainstormed and came up with a set of boundaries/guidelines/steps for our open relationship. We talked about the options and came up with a final definition of what "might work for us." I say "might" because you never know until you put it into practice. And then you'll likely have to revisit it often and adjust as necessary. It's an on-going project and you have to work together at it to be successful. Here's what we came up with -- * Be open about interest in new relationships - I tell my partner when I'm thinking about dating someone new. * The first date is a free one, but after that the other potential mate must meet my partner. * In meeting with my partner and me, the love interest gets to understand our boundaries and expectations. * My partner has the right to veto any potential mate. * Talk openly (but spare the sexual details) with my partner about my other love interests * I can spend no more than 6 nights a month (which includes up to 2 weekend nights) with other girl/boyfriends * Home by midnight on weekdays Plus some other minor details, but I think that should give you some ideas. Also make sure you clearly outline what both of you see as acceptable safer sex practices. Like I said, talk to your partner and together figure out what will work for you.

FAQS.ORG makes no guarantees as to the accuracy of the posts. Each post is the personal opinion of the poster. These posts are not intended to substitute for medical, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. FAQS.ORG does not endorse any opinion or any product or service mentioned mentioned in these posts.

<< Back to: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

[ Home | FAQ-Related Q&As | General Q&As | Answered Questions ]

Question by toyogrrl
Submitted on 12/6/2003
Related FAQ: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Rating:	Rate this question:
If you have a primary partner, and both of you wish to have other partners (in a sexual way only), when, where, how, etc. does one make these extra-marital liaisons possible? we have had a threesome together, but never anything separate. do people generally introduce the new partner(s) to the spouse or should the secondaries be kept segregated from the primary partner? should the secondaries be kept apart as well? i am not implying to deceive any party. i just want to know what has or has not worked for other people.

Answer by leFOXX
Submitted on 2/6/2004
Rating:	Rate this answer:
when I told my girlfriend(we live together) that there's this girl, a friend of mine, who I have loved for qouite a while, my girlfriend thoght it to be a great idea to tell my friend. I did, and my relationship with my girlfriend got even stronger. She did not even think twice about me be sleeping over at my friend house. We never did it, or nutt'n like that, but this has really improved my friendship with my friend, as well as my relationship to my girlfriend. Hope this helps..

Answer by AmethystWings
Submitted on 3/13/2004
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
How my husband and I work it, is that before anything happens, we have to meet the other person, and we also have to get permission from each other. So when I wanted to have a friend of mine, I had to ask him permission. Now, we only have to ask once, for each extra we want. It's not that we don't trust each other, but we like having that security of being able to say 'No, I don't think that one's ok" or "Yeah, by all means, have fun". I have also only had extra things with friends of mine, so my husband knew them already.

Answer by ahh
Submitted on 1/17/2005
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
you guys are so freaky, where do find partners that will find partners for you and all you got to do is boink them all the time?

Answer by Childéric
Submitted on 2/14/2007
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
It seems to me evident that the institution of "marriage", as we have known it, has reached a point of obsolescence and is becoming more and more inoperative. Polyamory would appear the best solution for the evolution of sentimental life. I would suggest more effort for more publicity of this life style, which is unknown and misunderstood by many or most. The serious problems would appear to be the providing of compulsory responsibility for children and the conquering of instinctive jealousy. How???

Your name or nickname:
If you'd like to create a new account or access your existing account, put in your password here:
Your answer: