I have been in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationsh...

<< Back to: Emotional Support on the Internet

Answer by Lena
Submitted on 1/25/2004
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
i was in a verbul and phical marrage for 6 years my advice to you is go out as much as you can get your hair done spend time to look at your self and focus on what you want to improve spending time by your self to think do not go round looking for someone to love you cos you will end up doing things you regret do not be afraid of others around you remember we are all humans and why should we allow anyone to intimadate us ok it will very hard to get over this but i swear to you what seems hard and impossible will soon be possible and easy men who who abuse women are weak and by making them self feel stronge and a man is by attacking people who are weaker then them which are women this is my e-mail address lena_wa7ed@yahoo.com if you need to talk am here ok i hope this has helped you

Answer by crazzyinlovewithapsycho
Submitted on 3/30/2004
Rating:	Rate this answer:
This isn't really an answer but also a plea for help. My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over a year. We both have been previsiouly married. It didn't take long into the relationship, maybe 8 months that I started realizing I was affraid to fight for my beliefs and my opinions with out being put down. I was afraid that I didn't accept his way he would leave. Which I should have let him. He makes comments all through out the day making me feel like I'm the reason he doesn't get to see his children everyday, or much more. Theres so much to the story, but not enough room to go on, I wanna get out of this relationship, even there is still love for him, but he also has me in a financial bind, we share savings checking, and much more together. please help!

Answer by Beentherebefore!
Submitted on 4/18/2004
Rating:	Rate this answer:
I have been exactly there. Do you have a friend you can talk to? Someone that is on your side and will give you their support? Do not be afraid--but think things through very carefully...getting away is the hard part. I am still working on that a bit. You may feel helpless and hopeless but you are not...discovering your not will give you strength. You may need to talk to a lawyer or a counselor. Or brainstorm with some friends/coworkers whatever to get ideas on what to do. I called the domestic abust hotline because mine had my beliefs changed so much I didn't know if it was abuse or not. The longer you stay the more you will suffer. Things only get worse. If you need to talk to someone email me: ladyhusker77@yahoo.com

Answer by Neptune
Submitted on 8/16/2004
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
The last thing the abuser would admit to, is his refusal to even accept responsibility for his behavior and actions (or lack of actions). They feel this "false" sense of entitlement and will even tell you that if you don't like it, "Gee, why do you put up with it then?" and laugh as they walk off. Ladies, he was abusing someone before you (why he was alone or got dumped) and he will be abusing another one after you. It's NOT you. Set boundaries for yourself(ones you can deal with) and follow through on them. If that does not help you; and you feel you are done being "his" so called doormat or "at his beckon and call" attitude, then it's time for the bomb to drop - get rid of him or take off. You will be eventually asking yourself, "What was I afraid of?" As soon as you figure out you are not that lucky to be rid of him! Make a plan (secretly) and work the plan (along with stashing money, get a secret storage unit and have your own secret bank account, etc) - you WILL start feeling better the sooner you start. Less is more with these types - the less they know about you or your goals, the better off you will be. Yes, LIE as what do you think he has been feeding you - LIES. Start doing everything alone, even see a counselor (without him and only work on yourself) or go to Al-non, or get a bunch of self-empowerment books and courses, secretly. Hang out with "positive" people that are manifesting their goals. It becomes "effortless" to walk out the door, as what are we going to miss? HIS MOUTH? HIS INSULTS? HIS POOR CHOICES he made and Blamed us for, while he exploits? Mr. Massive Moods? Sorry Charlie NOT buying anymore of his ILLUSIONS. I am all stocked up here! And DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK - he's secretly seething with "revenge "(as how dare you function without him or take back your self-respect?). He can't handle "rejection." Hand him a tissue and close the door in his face. Maybe he can find someone else to exploit and torment? Peace and Blessings be with you.

Answer by Milly
Submitted on 9/9/2004
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
The advice I can give you girls out there is to let go off the relationship. You have no reason why to take this from any man out there. I have an issue my self. I have being dating with this guy for about a year now but I know him for over 3. Every time he drinks his total personality changes for the worse and gets verbally abusive with me. I noticed that even if he doesn't drink he will still talk to me that way. Every time he gets upset he wants to take total control of the relationship and starts talking to me really dirty and accusing me of things that I will not do to him. I don't know if the age is doing it or what? He is 13 yrs older than me. I don't know what to do, I feel like if I love him but than again the way he treats me makes me wanna push back and send him away. I feel that no matter how many times i tell him that i want us to stop seeying eachother, even that I can't do because he refuses to leave me. Any advice? I think i'min danger for some reason.

Answer by scared2go
Submitted on 9/23/2004
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
Help me, I am 29 with 3 kids living with a man who is horrible. We have lived together for a year and at first it was great. As time went on I realized why his wife had left him. He treats me like s**t. Tells me how stupid I am. Doesn't want to work. He lives in my house that I own, and I have a job, but he wants control of me so badly that he tries to force me to quit. My children want me to kick him out but he has been violent before. I think he has drained me of my self worth and I am in tears everyday. I work to come home to clean and make supper, while half the time he sleeps all day and won't get up until I have his clothes laid out for him. He gets his daughter on weekends and I take care of her because he refuses to. I don't know what is wrong with me. Why do women stay?

Answer by Deep Pain
Submitted on 2/21/2006
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
I'm in a verbally abusive relationship. I saw the signs after living with him the first 6 months. I left the relationship. I was pregnant. He persuaded me to believe that he can love me the way I deserve to be loved. I gave him another chance and we are living with our baby now. The verbal abuse has continued almost immediately after we got back together. Now, I'm in such deep pain, lack of sleep on top of being a new mother, and the last fight pushed me over the edge. I'm terrified of him, I'm sick to my stomach and I already have a chronic illness that is vulnerable to this stress. I'm desperate. I want out..I don't know how to get out and I'm so terrified of him and the way he manages to convince me to stay. I'm very afraid of him and I'm on pins and needles while I'm trying to figure out how to leave. I need professional help to heal because the damage is so deep. He is from an abusive childhood. He reveres his abuser, his mother. Help me...help me...help me. I can't sleep or think clearly. I'm scared. I want out but I don't know how to do it...without him resisting me with those false promises and empty words. I want out because I don't want my baby exposed to seeing her mommy hurt and my baby needs me. Please help me.

Answer by sweetlilangel_6
Submitted on 4/21/2006
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
well this is actually a question my aunt is in a relationship that is very abusive in the beginning he drank messed around on her etc when they first got married . now they have three kids together and he has been knocking them in the head throwing them around etc and just the other day he took the little girl by the throat and called her a pic and other things i cannot mention. the girl is 12 and there are 2 boys 5 and 7 . and they are very disrespectful the boys i mean and are very sexual towards others and have alot of hatred built up in them excpecially the 7 year old. The mom has put up with the beatings for awhile since the birth of the first baby. he even knocked her around when she was pregnant with the last too and is alwayz telling them hes going to kill them and if they dont shut the f**** up hes going to put them in the hospital. there is much more but i can't say it all on here i fear for their lives what do you think she should do . the girl decided to talk to her counciler the other day and is now staying with a friend and her case is pending investigation and they want my aunt to file a order of protection he knows nothing about it but when he came home to day he acted very strange . please help any advice would be great .(sweetlilangel_6@yahoo.com) plz email me your comments thank you.

Answer by How can I heal?
Submitted on 1/7/2007
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
I was only in an emotionally abusive relationship where he would make promises to me and then he would withdraw his promises for no reason, and he would threaten to harm me, put me down and yell at me if I asked him to explain his confusing behavior. I keep thinking if he can explain his behavior I'll feel better, but when I try to understand his behavior, he always blames me and then threatens to harm me when I ask more questions to try to understand him. Has anyone else been through this type of abuse? If so, how do you heal? I am out of the relationship, but the painful memories have haunted me every single day, almost every moment of the day for five years. Any advise about how I can heal?

FAQS.ORG makes no guarantees as to the accuracy of the posts. Each post is the personal opinion of the poster. These posts are not intended to substitute for medical, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. FAQS.ORG does not endorse any opinion or any product or service mentioned mentioned in these posts.

<< Back to: Emotional Support on the Internet

[ Home | FAQ-Related Q&As | General Q&As | Answered Questions ]

Question by blueyes43
Submitted on 11/18/2003
Related FAQ: Emotional Support on the Internet
Rating:	Rate this question:
I have been in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship for 11 years and am now being given the silent treatment and cold shoulder by this person. I can never get any answers to questions about feelings or about the relationship and my self esteem is down to zero--I have asked them to stop and quit the abuse but it always happens again when I disagree or try to say what I feel--now I believe the relationship is over and I want to begin to heal and find a way to deal with the emotional pain caused by this person--my question what is the best way that others have found to find "yourself" again and heal?

Answer by ana
Submitted on 4/17/2006
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
im not sure if it is me..or what i am doing wrong i moved back home last week. we still ttalk are still acouple..i keep hoping it will get better.. he makes me feel happy then tears me down..tell i feel helpless..i will say i miss you..and he will get mad and say didnt i say i miss you didnt i say i cared do u have to force the issue cant you wait for people to jsut say it do u have to force it from them..maybe i did that..i dont know any more..

Answer by ana
Submitted on 4/17/2006
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
im not sure if it is me..or what i am doing wrong i moved back home last week. we still ttalk are still acouple..i keep hoping it will get better.. he makes me feel happy then tears me down..tell i feel helpless..i will say i miss you..and he will get mad and say didnt i say i miss you didnt i say i cared do u have to force the issue cant you wait for people to jsut say it do u have to force it from them..maybe i did that..i dont know any more..

Answer by girl15
Submitted on 6/22/2006
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
I read the above posts & seems like everyone is trying to get out of a relationship which in one way or the other is abusive. Am pretty much in the same situation...am terribly disappointed with my boyfriend and of course my choice and my question is dont we girls deserve a good relationship at all ? Is true love just a fiction ? I think knowing the answer to this question would ease our relief and help accept the situation better. So any experts on this please help with ur insight.

Answer by Linki
Submitted on 7/5/2006
Rating: Not yet rated	Rate this answer:
I thought i was the one being abused emotionally but it seem like i'm to blame after reading the articles and what the accusers do.It feels as if i have the characteristics of the abuser. Could this be?

Your name or nickname:
If you'd like to create a new account or access your existing account, put in your password here:
Your answer: