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<< Back to: Bipolar Disorder FAQ v 1.1 (1 of 4)

Question by jims mom
Submitted on 7/11/2003
Related FAQ: Bipolar Disorder FAQ v 1.1 (1 of 4)
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What do you do when your 19 year old refuses
treatment? He is refusing because he is mad at me and anything i say he now does the opposite. This includes treatment.Also he left the house and living from friend to friend. Please Help Him.

Answer by roger elliott
Submitted on 9/7/2003
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I learned the hard way when  i was 18 .He got to reAlizehe needs help like i did
if you need to talk my email is rhle@yahoo.com


Answer by TarotDream
Submitted on 9/10/2003
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He's no longer a minor.  You have no LEGAL ability to force treatment on him.  FIRST see to your own health and well-being.  Do not let him bully or threaten you.  If he threatens you or refuses to leave YOUR house, call the police.  He is being implacable regarding his health, you do so about yours.  Let him know you will help in his treatment by doing ___________.  Tell him once, ask him to acknowledge, then do not nag at him.  You can ask him to please call you every so often.  Listen, thank him for calling.  Do not suggest any actions, he feels he's in a life and death situation to establish who he is.  He's scared out of his mind and the best mood you can show him is cool, calm, collected, willing to help (or quietly say "No" to inappropriate requests).  If he's in money trouble and you have the resources, get him a cheap hotel or boarding house.  To come to your house he has to start/stick with treatment, ie medication most likely.
A terrible thing has happened to your son and he has very little control.  He's frightened, confused and angry.  He needs people to care about him, but he's got all the hysteria he needs in his head.  He needs your love and this along with other help needs calmness, listening, caring, quiet speech and simple direct talk.  If you let him take advantage of you you will not like him nor will you like yourself.  He will not like you, will push harder, will loathe himself and then run away.  He needs simple clear insight into what you will/won't do, acceptable/unacceptable behaviour and what he has to do to get direct support.  Just like 5 years old.  Good luck and don't forget your prayers . . . for YOU.


Answer by Harsh but Fair
Submitted on 3/17/2004
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Sounds like he needs a good slap! Would you like me to come and sort him out ?


Answer by hardwork
Submitted on 10/9/2005
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your not alone, I have a 19 year old that just won't do what he has to do. I have come to believe that, we do to much for them thats why they keep doing what they do to us. they feel we will be there no matter what. we need to show them different no matter how much it hurts us.


Answer by Benji
Submitted on 1/29/2006
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No one can convince a person that they are bipolar. I quit taking my medication at the age of 18-19 also. I was mad at everybody for trying to force me to take that crap, I thought. I have ran off and ended up in jail during manic episodes. There is really not much you can do. If you have a chance to talk to him when he seems open, maybe provide him with some information, and just ask him to check it out, and see if maybe he does have bipolar. It's not something anyone wants to accept. Also, it is not very well understood, scientifically that is. You might just need to let him go and figure things out for himself.


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