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i'm18 andi ve been having very bad dreams about being...

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Question by emnatic
Submitted on 10/3/2003
Related FAQ: alt.support.dissociation FAQ 3/4
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i'm18 andi ve been having very bad dreams about being sexually abused and stuff. ive been having them for the past copla yrs and b4 that i used to daydream about ppeole doing stuff to me and afterwards id be really scard of that person. ive also suddenly remembered y i hate this uncle of mine and its because of his hands. all i remember of him is that he had very big hands. i told some people about this and they sed i possibly cnat remember anything because sometihing bad happened with him. i dont know at first i thought no it cant really be possible because i lie in egypt and it just doesnt happen here and i dont know it just seems un real that i wud forget something so serious cud i hav?

Answer by lumom
Submitted on 12/25/2003
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I read your posting and what I have determined from your statements are two things. first your uncle hands and the way you feel about them are certainly connected to some type of abuse where he used his hands. It could be either sexual abuse and or physical abuse. I sense your fear of being hurt by others is  actually a coping mechanism that your mind is using on an unconscious level as a way to protect you from the harsh abuse that you once suffered.
This is your minds way of attempting to prevent you from allowing yourself to become victim again. An the reason why you may not be able to recall the abuse is because it goes against your customs and or the act of abuse was so severe that you fear reliving it in your mind. I know first hand how this can happen because I have gone through it myself. This is how I overcame my fear, I learned to hug myself, tell myself that I am beautiful regardless to what others have done to me or said about me. I than looked into the mirror and pointed at myself and said into the mirror, I am you and no one else knows you better than I for we are the same.And regardless to what happens to me beyond my control it can not, will not, and shall not be the basis of lessing me as a person. Than I finish by hugging myself (it feels so good, please try it}and saying that the best hug in the world is a self hug and the best love in the world is self love and I claim both. See, to often we look for the answers outside of ourselves(which is ok if not solely relied on}but deep within us we already have many answers to effectively handle many of our mental health. I am not a doctor nor student studying in that area but I am very into self-study of behaviorism. I never learned nor seen in any of the many books that I read that one should hug one's self. It is an answer which came from deeply within me and I trusted it's ability to work for me and it did. Society might frown on one hugging one's self and maybe even consider it bizarre behavior but unless they've tried it for themselves and felt it's powerful effect I could see how they could down play it as being totally absurd.
I am self healed through its use. Please try it and apply it every day at least once a day and than if you don't receive positive results by all means feel free to down talk it too. But if you try it and it works for you, please tell another about it. I know it can and will work for you but only if you're willing to effectively apply it. I love you simply because you're human can you please try to love you too.


Answer by Astra M
Submitted on 1/30/2004
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Oh my goodness! I'm EXACTLY the same!

I'm also 18 years old and used to have these daydreams and sick fantasys of getting raped when i was 7-9years old - then when I was older my best friend (who strangely was a girl) also did that to me.

My mum says she looked after me - but all I can remember is being young and standing in rnt of someone (male) with their privates out.

I hope your ok.



Answer by Leigh
Submitted on 2/15/2004
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I think it's important to remember that no one can decide what your history is on the basis of one post.  That having been said, there is a forum where we discuss this sort of thing, and if you have questions you're more than welcome to post there.  The address is http://www.abusetranscendence.org/phpbb.  There is also an IRC channel, on sorcery.net.  Information on the channel is available at the forums.

Leigh, Transcended Co-Founder


Answer by Bethney
Submitted on 2/23/2004
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I'm having dreams about a car crashing into my sisters house. and flowers all around me.


Answer by flygirl
Submitted on 7/21/2005
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i don't have an answer, but i have a question. I'verecently married and moved to a foriegn country. i love my husband with all my heart and I'mvery happy during the day, but for the past week or so i have been having very bad dreams involving people i have known for several years. mostly men, and there has been a lot of confrontation in the dreams. what is going on in my head? and how can i make it stop?


Answer by jamesbb
Submitted on 7/19/2007
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well said Leigh, you cant really judge an entire history from a 40 word post. i used to have similar day dreams when i was in late adolescence but its something that just fades out as you grow. I recently read an article about nightmares and peoples attitude towards dreams being the key to handling them i'll see if i can find the site URL some time.

Thanks for your time


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