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i am 25...my boyfriend is 20 years older than me and we just...

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Question by bellastam
Submitted on 6/15/2007
Related FAQ: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
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i am 25...my boyfriend is 20 years older than me and we just recently opened our relationship to this idea of polyamory. my boyfriend adores me & i love him deeply, yet for many months now he has had no desire for sexual intimacy with me. Frustrated with the situation & myself � by placing such value on the sexual intimacy/connection.. i really had no choice but to approach him. i am always extremely honest & rather than allowing resentment to set it, i finally asked to what extent he thought our relationship could remain the same & i could also spend time/intimacy with someone else as well.

my boyfriend & i spend a lot of quality time together (creatively, professionally, intellectually) & i didn't want to abandon our love by completely throwing in the towel...yet i was longing for a change. of course it wasnt ideal for him because he was 100% satisfied but he was receptive to the idea (said that it actually took a great deal of pressure off of him). i approached a very dear friend of mine (my age)...my boyfriend had met him several times, thought he was sincere & approved.

this has only just begun (about a month)... but honestly for now, i really feel like i have been able to find a true compliment to my current relationship. my friend and i have a special connection as well & he has spontaneity/vitality/adventure while my boyfriend ideology/creativity � yet with both i have a spiritual connection & share intimacy of one form or another. and they both have a very sincere kindness and respect for each other.

it is amazing to me how boundless love can be if given the opportunity and freedom from societal norms. before today had no idea about the details of polyamory (emphasis on love) but am very fascinated to see others experiences & the possibilities. im sure it is going to be tricky...but were all being honest with each other & allowing it to evolve for now.

any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated...


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