Last year I began a relationship with a friend. It quickly...

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Question by ben1980
Submitted on 4/22/2007
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Last year I began a relationship with a friend. It quickly became serious and we talked about getting married. I was aware the he'd had a threesome on two occasions with a previous partner but I didn't think it was an ongoing issue. We are both men and both id as bi though we both tend to be attracted more towards other men. He has announced, quite out of the blue, that he has met a woman with whom he wishes to pursue a secondary relationship. We have never previously discussed polyamory although I know he has friends who are poly. He pretty much asked me what boundaries I felt were necessary - like, how do I feel about him staying overnight ? Isn't it usual to ask me if I'm ok with the poly model first ? Shouldn't this have been talked about as a possibility before he started flirting with women ? How do I deal with this ? How do I even begin to process this ? I'm not a jealous person but I'm really devastated ... this is all new to me.

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