hi, my name is dee, I have been with my boyfriend for over 2...

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Question by didi107
Submitted on 3/7/2004
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hi, my name is dee, I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years, we both have children and we live together. the problem is we are both not divorced from our spouses. my proceedings with divorce are going to be final in a few weeks. my boyfriends divorce has not yet been filed, due to many financial reasons which i dont believe for some reason. i am feeling very insecure because he has been with his wife for over 17 years and loved her dearly. she had left of course.i love this man but I cant seem to stop this insecurity knowing that in his heart he must still wish she was with him because everytime we are watching a movie , there is alwys someone who looks like her in a film and i feel like thats why he watches it. anyway he tells me he cant take my insecurity and that he loves me and he will soon get his divorce and that it takes time. i personally feel used every since i made the move to move in with him, he is really not the kind of giving type , i feel i am always giving. so ,my question would be how do i get over this or is there more to this that i dont see. thank you.

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Answer by Tenaciously _Yours
Submitted on 5/6/2004
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If your boyfriend wont help to ease your insecurities, maybe you should move on and find someone that is more sensitive to your needs.

Answer by ahh
Submitted on 1/17/2005
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you should not be in a relationship where you feel used, please think of your children first and find a healthy relationship, that may not be until after your children have grown but so be it.

Answer by growing older and wiser
Submitted on 6/8/2007
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Hi dee, I have experienced similar emotions. Am I good enough?? Was the power of their bond better than ours? The answers are found only in your self- your deep inner truth. Decide now- we both must stop annoying them with being wishy-washy. Every time we start the cycle of O pity me.... waaa.... we must take a deep breath and say: IIIII am awesome! Every one is blessed by my presence and enjoys being with me, especially this one fellow I love. retrain your mind to have healthy habits and stop living in fear. if it doesn't work out later, you will be relived to be on your own, and way more empowered. blessings to you sit up straight ;)

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