My husband has always been adventurous and wanting to try...

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Question by Christine
Submitted on 1/13/2004
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My husband has always been adventurous and wanting to try new things in the bedroom. I have always been the one to be a little uptight. I feel I have a strong sexual nature deep down, but has never been able to come out. He has asked me to try things and I usually decline. I met someone that has shown interest in me and over time flirting began to develop (mainly on the other person's side). I did not lead him on because I value my relationship with my husband and would NEVER do anything to hurt him. This other man knew from the beginning that I was married, so there was never any deceit. I told my husband that there was a flirtation happening between my and this other man. We have a very honest and loving marriage. I suddenly feel like I want to branch out and try a threesome. I suggested it to my husband, who at first, seemed to be open to the idea. I then, with my husband knowing, went to lunch with the other man and told him my marriage comes first and foremost, and that we are thinking about a threesome with him. The other man stated he was definitely interested. When I came home to tell my husband about it, he had a change of heart...why wouldn't I try things with him and now I want to suddenly, he doesn't find the guy attractive and doesn't know enough about him (however, I wish he would meet with him and talk, but my husband doesn't want to). I am an attractive woman, the other man is 20 years my senior and I find him attractive, but not in a GQ kind of way. My husbands other concern is the other mans close proximity...we live in the same town and maybe one mile away from each other. My husband says he still is interested in a threesome, but I think his "ideal" conditions may be hard to come by. Plus he may be attracted to someone I am not and vice versa. I have now told this other man that we are not interested right now and apologized. My husband and I are feeling very weird about what happened and don't want to jeopardize our relationship in any way. I feel guilty for making my husband feel the way he is and he feels like he isn't satisfying me the way he should. But that is not true. What should I do?

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Answer by Neas
Submitted on 5/5/2004
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You should give up on this guy for now, back things up and seriously talk about this with your husband. Both of you should be doing research and talking about it together. Talk. Talk. Talk. You'll never be successful without good communication skills. I suggest you both read The Ethical Slut. You can find it on Amazon or other online retailers. Best of luck.

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