I am...Concerned, by the apparent lack of distinction...

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Answer by Josh
Submitted on 8/23/2004
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Polygamy is strictly defined as having multiple spouses. Polyandry is when one woman has more than one husband. Polygyny is when one man has more than one wife. Polyamory implies that it is love, rather than marriage, that is the binding factor in the relationship. To answer the original question, I think the lack of distinction isn't so much between polygamy and polyamory, but between monogamy and monoamory. Perhaps we ought to draw a distinction between eros and agape in this context, as well. Polyamorists, in general, see no reason why an erotic relationship with one person should preclude them from conducting an erotic relationship with another person, and similarly for agapic relationships. The typical monogamist, on the other hand, only admits philial love to be capable of being shared with more than one person. In short, polyamorous relationships can take any of the three forms of love, so I suspect the original assumption is erroneous.

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Question by Pliny Ty
Submitted on 1/12/2004
Related FAQ: alt.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
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I am...Concerned, by the apparent lack of distinction between poly-amory and poly-gamy. With monogamy it is not assumed that you love one and only one person, merely that you're having sex with only that person. Why then is there the assumption that polyamorous relations will be polygamous as well?

Answer by Spiderbaby
Submitted on 1/19/2004
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Well, if I'm understanding things right (I'm new to these feelings/thoughts), then it should not be assumed that polyamorous relations will be polygamous. You're saying it's NOT assumed that in a monogamous relationship that you will only love one person, but only have sex with one person. Then you say that it IS assumed in polyamorous relationships that you will love many and have sex with many as well. From what I've learned, there can be no assumptions. You may intensely love many people (openly within a relationship), but only have sex with one person. You may also intensely love only one person, but have sex with them and others (openly within a relationship).

Answer by stormdancer
Submitted on 4/9/2004
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Plus, history has confused the term polygamy anyway. In the dictionary, polygamy means "The state or practice of having more than one spouse at a time." [non-gender specific] Whereas the Mormon version of polygamy clearly states, its always one man, many wives. The term polyamory was partly coined in response to differentiate ourselves from the Mormons, because polyamorist relationships can be man/woman/man, [mfm] fmf, ffmf mmff, mmfm, mmm, fff, etc. i.e. not gender specific. Polyamory is a type of non-monogamy. Mormon polygamy, swinging and cheating are types of non-monogamy too, but each have separate practices, thus the different labels.

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