Alphabetic Guide to Child Care - Sexual abuse and incest



Sexual Abuse and Incest

Of all the forms of child abuse (see CHILD ABUSE ), sexual abuse, including incest, is the most common. Estimates of the number of sexual assaults on children in the United States range as high as five million annually. As many as 80 percent of these assaults occur within families. In many cases the adults reside outside the family but are closely acquainted with their victims.

Child sexual abuse takes many forms. While tens of thousands of children and young people are sexually attacked or molested, thousands of others are filmed, photographed, or otherwise exploited for the private recreational purposes of abusers. An estimated 50,000 children disappear annually; most of them are never found. Experts say many of these lost children are forced into a kind of sex-slavery, becoming victims of the “kiddie porn” (child pornography) trade. Within the home, sexual abuse may include rape, inappropriate fondling, exhibitionism, sexual intercourse, sodomy, and other acts.

Who are the victims of child sexual abuse? They are both males and females; they range in age from a few months to 16 years or older. The mean age at which a child experiences sexual abuse is nine. The victims represent all socioeconomic groups, all races, all geographic regions.

Protecting Your Children

Parents have the delicate task of maintaining a loving, touching family relationship while also teaching their child or children to recognize and reject “bad touches.” Parents do not want to instill in their child fear, hysteria, or paranoia. But they should want their child to know how to escape or avoid abuse within or outside the home. Without dwelling on the details of what could happen, show what a bad touch involves—generally, a pinch, hard slap, or a touch in a body area normally covered by a bathing suit. One exception, of course, is a physician's examination. Parental approval makes such an examination acceptable.

Safety Tips for Parents

  1. 1. Know your children's friends.
  2. 2. Never leave your child unattended.
  3. 3. Be involved in your child's activities.
  4. 4. Listen when your child tells you he or she does not want to be with someone.
  5. 5. Pay attention when someone shows greater than normal interest in your child.
  6. 6. Have your child fingerprinted and know where to locate dental records.
  7. 7. Be sensitive to changes in your child's behavior or attitudes.
  8. 8. Take a photograph of your child each year (4 times each year if under age 2).
  9. 9. Be prepared to describe your children accurately—including clothing, visible identifying marks, or special characteristics.
  10. 10. Develop a set procedure should you and your child become separated while away from home.
  11. 11. Do not buy items that visibly display your child's name.
  12. 12. Be sure your child's school or day-care center will not release your child to anyone other than you or someone you officially designate.
  13. 13. Instruct the school to contact you immediately if your child is absent or if someone other than you arrives to pick up him or her without advance notice from you.

Children can and should learn to say “no” to an adult, psychologists tell us. Having said “no,” whether the would-be abuser is a friend, relative, or stranger, your child should leave the scene quickly. Then he or she should report the incident to a parent. “Be sure to emphasize that if someone asks them not to tell that they should immediately tell,” advises one authority. Parents should make it clear that they will not be mad if they receive such a report.

Parents need to instruct children periodically in the ways to respond appropriately to abusers’ approaches. But then they have to listen if the child wants to talk. Children have to be sure both of the parents’ love and their willingness to pay attention.

Symptoms to Watch For

A child encountering molestation or sexual abuse of any kind is undergoing an emotionally stressful experience. But the young person may be too shy to reveal what has happened. If a parent suspects that a son or daughter has been molested, one authority suggests, asking directly if anything has happened.

What symptoms might cause suspicion? As published in “Child Protection Alert,” a publication of the American Christian Voice Foundation, there are at least 25 symptoms that you should watch for:

  1. 1. Explicit (sometimes bizarre) sexual knowledge
  2. 2. Precocious sexually related experimentation or speech
  3. 3. Toilet training relapses
  4. 4. Smearing of feces or urine
  5. 5. Gagging and unexplained vomiting
  6. 6. Speech problems
  7. 7. Regressive behavior
  8. 8. Masturbation
  9. 9. Withdrawal from normal human contact
  10. 10. Stomach and head pains
  11. 11. Bedwetting
  12. 12. Suicidal depression and/or self-destructive tendencies
  13. 13. Excessive fear of selected individuals or locations
  14. 14. Loss of appetite
  15. 15. Unexplained bruises or injuries in genital areas
  16. 16. Blood spotting or unexplained substances on underwear
  17. 17. Abrupt or radical behavioral or attitude changes
  18. 18. Lack of self-esteem or self-worth
  19. 19. Ulcers, colitis, anorexia, or other stress related disorders
  20. 20. Alcohol or drug abuse
  21. 21. Frequent nightmares
  22. 22. Excessive passivity
  23. 23. Vaginal or urinary tract infections
  24. 24. Infections of the mouth, gums, or throat. (Be vigilant for venereal diseases of the anus or throat. Incidences are no longer uncommon in children.)
  25. 25. Unexplained gifts, extra money, or the presence of pornography in your child's possession

Sources of Help

Where does a parent seek help once it's certain that molestation or abuse has occurred? The recommended first stage is to notify the police or local rape crisis center, or (where incest is the crime) the state child protection agency. To avoid adding to your child's stress, parents should not confront the offender while the child is present. Make sure the young victim has a complete physical examination if only to reassure the boy or girl that no permanent physical damage has been done. Depending on need, you may also want to ensure that the child gets counseling. Resource centers that provide diverse kinds of aid include:

  1. • CHILD HELP National Child Abuse hotline: 800/422-4453
  2. • Child Find hotline: 800/A-WAY-OUT for mediation; 800/I-AM-LOST for abducted children children or people identifying missing or abducted children.
  3. • National Center for Missing and Exploited Children: 800/843-5678 or 202/634-9821
  4. • Runaway Hotline: 800/231-6946
  5. • National Crime Information Center (F.B.I.): 202/324-2311
  6. • National Runaway Switchboard: 800/621-4000


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