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Copyright: (c) 1997-1999 Andrew Gill
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CBG-FAQ v.FAST (2.7) Maintained by Andrew "I am in the process of trying to be as terse as Ernest Hemmingway, but instead, I am failing quite perceptibly" Gill. Send e-mail to <email@example.com> for all comments, criticism, nude pictures of Bart's edible starchy tuber, et cetera. This document is dedicated to the memory of Dr. A Quack. Copies of this FAQ can be found at: <http://www.geocities.com/ResearchTriangle/7399/faq-cbg.html> AND NOW FOR THE FAQ: >>>1. What is the CBG-FAQ/What does it stand for/Can you put in an introduction? The CBG-FAQ stands for (and is) a Compendium of the Bile-inducing Genre of Frequently Asked Questions (and their answers) The CBG-FAQ is a miniature version of the LISA FAQ, which is available here: <http://www.snpp.com/guides/lisa.html>. It is intended to address the most common and annoying questions posted to alt.tv.simpsons, rather than the more comprehensive LISA, which gives more general info than the CBG-FAQ. Also in this FAQ are links to commonly-requested pages (e.g. The Simpsons Archive). For the sake of brevity, links to other pages are included rather than including the actual text. 1.1 Ah, you mention the LISA. What is that? The LISA (List of Inquiries and Substantive Answers) is _the_ definitive FAQ for alt.tv.simpsons. It is currently maintained by Ondre Lombard, and contains every bit of trivia that plagues alt.tv.simpsons. See the above address to view it. It is also posted weekly on alt.tv.simpsons. Be warned. It is very long. 1.2 Give me a table of contents or give me death. 1. Intro 2. Acronyms/Conventions 3. Those awful questions 4. Production info 5. The EXPANDED "Topics that tend to go nowhere" 6. Forums 7. Where is? 8. Netiquette >>>2. Acronyms/Conventions (almost verbatim from LISA): Acronym Translation a.t.s - The Usenet newsgroup alt.tv.simpsons MG - Matt Groening OFF - Our Favorite Family (The Simpsons, of course) SLH - Santa's Little Helper (the Simpsons' family dog) DYN - Did You Notice, Didja Notice I&S - Itchy and Scratchy. FFF, FF - Freeze-Frame Fun SNPP - Springfield Nuclear Power Plant IMHO, IMO - In My (Humble) Opinion BTW - By The Way WRT - With Regard To, With Respect To ROFL - Rolling On the Floor Laughing IYKWIM - If You Know What I Mean AFAIK - As Far As I Know WTF - What The [Heck] IIRC - If I Recall Correctly RTFF - Read The [Darn] FAQ! Other Terms: Production Code/P-code - The four character episode number given to each episode (e.g.: 7G08, 7F24, 2F05) Couch Gag - Part of the title sequence when the family runs into the house and something unusual happens. Ref - Reference, where an event or scene in the show parodies another show, movie, or event. Blackboard Quote - What Bart writes on the chalkboard at the beginning of the title sequence. Episode Capsule - A compilation file for each episode. General terms (very basic): thread - a series of posted messages and their replies flame - a harsh message in response to a post. They often spawn a flame war - a thread of flames and counterflames troll - a message of which the specific purpose is to get a antithetical response (e.g. DIE, LISA SIMPSON, DIE) >>>3 Those Awful Questions (AKA the important stuff) 3.1 Where is Springfield/Where do the Simpsons live? At 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Of this, 742 can be debated (in some episodes, it has been other things), but it is quoted as such at <http://www.foxworld.com/simpindx.htm> Where is Springfield? North Tacoma is the official answer. For an explanation, see <http://www.snpp.com/guides/springfield.list.html>. It has the closest that you can get to an answer, so let us never speak of it again. 3.2 Is Smithers gay? YES. David Silerman, Supervising Director for the show, has said so. For more info, check out: <http://www.snpp.com/family/smithers.sexuality.html> 3.3 Are any other characters gay? Karl, from Simpson and Delilah, and John, from Homer's Phobia. No other characters are gay. Not Milhouse, not Homer, not Martin. 3.4 Was Smithers black in an episode? Smithers did appear to be black in one episode (Homer's Odyssey). He was not, though. It was a coloring error. If you look at it, it's sort of an off-black, somewhat akin to "a Caribbean sunburn." 3.5 The cash register doesn't read NRA4EVER, does it? No. It says 847.63, the price of raising a baby for a month. Anyone who tells you that it's NRA4EVER fell for the prank in 138th Episode Spectacular, where it was said to be the latter. 3.6 While we're talking about the "Spectacular" gags, when did Marvin Monroe die? He died before Who Shot Mr. Burns, Part 2. In that episode, there is a Marvin Monroe Memorial Hospital. (Memorials are only given posthumously) The staff supposedly hated him, so they wrote him out. 3.7 And how do you spell Homer's catchphrase? D'oh is the accepted spelling, and has been seen spelled that way in [3F24] and [3G02]. D'ohh as been seen in a Simpsons Comic a few times, I think. Closed Captioning refers to it as "D-ohh!" [Annoyed Grunt] is the official spelling. 3.8 What's the name of that guy from the Android's Dungeon (comic shop?) Comic Book Guy (CBG) or Comic Book Shop Guy (CBSG). That's the official story. In case you hadn't guessed, that's where this FAQ gets its name. 3.9 I noticed that my favorite scene wasn't shown when they recently reran an episode. This is what happens to syndicated series. They get cut. Anything not central to the plot, which often happen to be humorous scenes, can (and will) be cut. It's not censorship. They have to cut something... 3.10 What do Bart's, Homer's, and Abraham's J stand for? Jo-jo (according to Nancy Cartwright--who voices Bart), Jay (according to [AABF02]), and nothing, respectively. The J is in honor of Rocky&Bullwinkle, who had the J initial, in honor of their creator, Jay Ward. 3.11 I heard that there was this really explicit scene that was cut in an episode... No. It's a rumor. There are a few exceptions to this rule: 9F07 - HJomer asks Marge to ``open her driveway'' 2F07 - Bart interrupts Marge&Homer doing it (later shown in 3F31 credits) 2F18 - SLH and his girlfriend get it on at the racetrack 5F01 - Marge: "I didn't order a [BJ]!" 3.12 Did Homer really sing "Do, Re, Mi, Drink?" No. It's just something floating around out there. 3.14 When will the new capsules show up? Frederic Briere, the former capsule compiler, instituted many changes to the capsules at The Simpsons Archive, but maintaining the capsules and the scripts occupied too muvh of his time. Under Bejamin Robinson's guidance, new capsules are appearing relatively quickly. 3.15 What do George Bush's shredded memoirs say? V.P. Quayle cat t embarassment >>>4. Production Info 4.1 How long does it take to produce an episode? Typically, an episode takes about nine months to complete. The writers go on a retreat in December, and finish up 12 scripts in time for the September premiere. 4.2 What are the numbers everyone keeps quoting? That's probably the p-code. Production codes are formed in the following way: [season code] [Letter] [episode number] - The seasons run from 7 to 5 (so far) and AAB, with the airing order going 7 8 9 1 2 3 4 5 AAB. - The letter is either an F or a G. - G indicates a special series (not really, but that's the best explanation that I can give) Season 7G was Season 1, and episodes 3G__ were special leftovers from season 7. - F is the typical letter used in an episode. It doesn't officially stand for anything. (My conjecture--Fox) - The episode number is the part from the series from whence it came. There are typically 24 episodes per series, with two coming from the previous production run. - Certain p-codes are common enough to be worthy of inclusion: The Halloween Specials are always an episode from 01-04 (usually 04). Other specials, like the 138th Episode Spectacular, are assigned special numbers, like 3F31. - Usually, a few episodes are produced that don't air until the next season. These are usually episodes 22-24. So the seasons are not always the same as their p-code indicates. 4.3 The Episode Titles are just made up, right? No. They come from FOX, itself. See <http://www.foxworld.com/simpsons2/syndicat.htm> if you want to check. 4.4 And What's this about Bjorn to be Wild? Several episodes have changed their titles. Examples: Lisa the Simpson was Lisa's Genes Jacques to be Wild was Bjorn to be Wild Principal and the Pauper was The Real Seymour Skinner Summer of 4 Foot 2 was Summer of Lisa Much Apu About Nothing was The Anti-Immigrant Song 4.5 When will the series end? No one knows. Rumor among those on the inside had it that it will end in season 10 (1998-99), however all evidence now points to the contrary. >>>5. Topics That Tend to Go Nowhere AND Topics to which you should not respond (these are two separate entities) 5.1 Topics that tend to go nowhere [again, almost straight out of LISA] - Favorite Quotes - The same quotes just keep being repeated. - Favorite [insert character name] Quotes - ditto. (What's your favorite Inanimate Carbon Rod quote? I'm compiling Avogadro's number of quotes) - Favorite Episodes - ibid. - [insert episode name here] is the Best Episode Ever. - [insert episode name here] is the Worst Episode Ever. - These ALWAYS end up in "is too", "is not" fights, and then cross over and become the other thread. - [insert character here] Sucks. - ibidem - [insert season number here] was the Best Season Ever. - ibidem - [insert season number here] was the Worst Season Ever. - ditto - Character development is better than cheap gags. - this always incites people to write large manifestoes, which clog up USENET, and generally degenerate into flame wars. - If you don't like the way the show is headed, then stop watching it. - ibidem - You shouldn't complain about new episodes, everything else on TV sucks. - ibidem - Stop complaining about new episodes, one day the show won't be here to complain about anymore. - ibidem 5.2 Topics to which you ought not to respond: - Show X is Better/Worse than The Simpsons. - Make Money Fast! Read this thrice (or any such SPAM) - Anything off-topic - Anything with the words: "Male model with an MBA", "Marxist Lesbian Jew" in it >>>6 Forums [Basically out of LISA] alt.tv.simpsons - For discussing "The Simpsons" de.rec.tv.simpsons - For German fans of "The Simpsons" uk.media.tv.simpsons - For fans of "The Simpsons" in the U.K. alt.binaries.tv.simpsons - For non-text posts relating to "The Simpsons" alt.fan.itchy-n-scratchy - For fans of Itchy & Scratchy alt.tv.simpsons.itchy-scratchy - For discussing "The Itchy & Scratchy Show" alt.tv.king-of-hill - For discussing "King of the Hill" Alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.cartoons - For those nude pics >>>7 Where is? *NOTE*: much of this comes from the LISA. 7.1 Archives: An archive of Simpsons-related info: - <http://www.snpp.com> The other FAQ: - <http://www.snpp.com/guides/lisa.html> - or via e-mail at <firstname.lastname@example.org> The official FOX site: - <http://www.foxworld.com/simpindx.htm> 7.3 Lists: The Cast List: - <http://www.snpp.com/guides/castlist.html> The list of Writers/Directors: - <http://www.snpp.com/guides/writers.directors.html> Bart's Blackboard Punishments: - <http://www.snpp.com/guides/chalkboard.openings.html> Couch Gag lists: - <http://www.snpp.com/guides/couch.openings.html> Bart's Prank Calls: - <http://www.snpp.com/guides/moe_calls.html> Episode Capsule FAQ: - <http://www.snpp.com/guides/capfaq.html> Upcoming Episodes: - <http://www.snpp.com/upcoming.html> - <http://www.foxworld.com/simpsons/syndicat.htm> Where is Springfield? - <http://www.snpp.com/guides/springfield.list.html> Syndication Cuts Guide: - <http://www.snpp.com/sfiles/> >>>8 On Netiquette 8.1 What is netiquette? Netiquette is a series of "friendly" guidelines which everyone uses for politeness. There's not a very strict code on the net, and especially a.t.s. Try netiquette in a soc.* newsgroup, and you'll get something quite different. 8.2 What are the basic rules of netiquette? A. General rule: Don't be a jerk. If you use expletives every other word, or insult people, people are likely to ignore you (at least) or flame you (probably). One more note: Even the intelligent inhabitants of a.t.s can be quick to anger. If you insult anyone intelligent, be prepared for a very humiliating public depantsing. B. Don't post in all caps. It infers YELLING. C. Post conservatively. Assume that the recipient of your message is using a no-frills newsreader. Don't terminate your lines after 80 columns; When the person reads your letter, part of every line will be on the next line. Don't use extended ASCII (e.g. the umlaut); Not all newsreaders can handle these characters. Don't post in HTML; Many newsreaders can't interpret this, and it's extremely inefficient. Don't post attachments in non-binary groups; Some newsreaders can't handle them, and see (F). Write your posts in a fixed-width font; Some people use DOS/UNIX-based newsreaders, and cannot see proportional fonts the same way (and proportional fonts must be identical to be seen correctly). D. RTFF--Read the F___ing FAQ (this is a family FAQ). This is obviously moot for you, gentle reader, but do this in every newsgroup that you join. The FAQ is a list of questions that are commonly posted, and have been beaten to death. Any further discussion would be redundant. The FAQ is intended to inform new users of things that are taboo in a certain group, and to answer the most common questions without pestering those who lurk in the newsgroup. E. Questions should be posted only when the FAQ and related documents do not contain the information sought. F. KISS--Keep It SHORT, Stupid! People have to download the whole dang thing, so don't make them mad. G. When replying, eliminate all unnecessary material from the quoted message (e.g. if you're commenting on this section of the FAQ, you wouldn't need to include the links section, so delete it), especially the signatures. H. Don't quote an entire message to make a short reply (i.e. don't quote 75 lines to make a 2 line response). I. Your signature should be no more than 5 lines long. It CANNOT be significantly longer (e.g. 15 lines) J. Reply to posts regarding etiquette (net and otherwise) in private email. K. Don't respond to trolls. 8.3 Can you give me any links to netiquette resources? Absolutely! RFC 1855 is the official netiquette guideline list. Some of the parts are a bit archaic (65 column text is a bit low), but it's the best way to make sure that your format is correct. You might want to check out some of the other RFC's, while you're at it. <http://info.internet.isi.edu:80/in-notes/rfc/files/rfc1855.txt> [Dear Emily Postnews] is a good starting point. It's satirical (I have to make sure that I say these things), so don't try anything in there, but it's a very good primer for netiquette. <http://www.clari.net/brad/emily.html> [Yahoo] also provides netiquette resources, so instead of giving you other specific sites, just use it as a general starting point. <http://www.yahoo.com/Computers_and_Internet/Internet/Information_and_Documentation/Beginner_s_Guides/Netiquette/> >>>9 Acknowledgments Many thanks go out to: Ondre Lombard - for his brilliant LISA FAQ maintenance and advice on netiquette Matthew Kurth - for his brilliant LISA FAQ commission arock - for his advice concerning layout Doc Quack - for advice on clarification of questions Jason Hancock - for Episode Title clarification and D'oh in CC Jouni Paakkinen - For clarification on link locations Matt Rose - For the cut line in [9F07] Copyright notice: Copyright (C) 1998-1999 Andrew Gill. Any use of this document, in whole or in part, in a noncommercial format is implicitly permitted, provided that it is quoted verbatim and proper attribution is given to the author (me). Any use of this document, in whole or in part, in a commercial setting is explicitly prohibited without the author's (my) prior consent, and where applicable, the consent of other contributors. Use of this document in a journalistic sense is permissible (with the exception of text quoted from other sources--I don't own rights to that), provided that the author (me) of the document is notified, first. (Hey, I've got a big ego to stroke) 123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 (filmed in 72-column-o-vision for all you people working at VAX workstations) This has been: CBG-FAQ v.FAST (2.7) (AKA The Simpsons mini-FAQ, AKA the "little LISA") "As my breakfast burrito is rapidly congealing, I shall be blunt." -The official motto of the CBG-FAQ.