The Speciality Songs of Cal McClain Jr.
Performed by Dennis Quaid on 15 Dec 1990 (Dennis Quaid)

Well, the USA won't take it, That dirt bags' got no class.
You can tell Saddam Housein for me, he can kiss my ass!

Narr: Finally in one album, all the speciality songs of
      America's proudest country singer, Cal McClain Jr.

Well, the USA ain't backing down, We don't take orders from no nut.
Hey there, General Noriega...  You can cram it up your butt!

Well, the USA has arrived to make you tow the line
And all you Granada people...
you can stick it where the sun don't shine!

Narr: Cal McClain Jr., sings whats on everyones mind,
      In language that won't leave anyone guessing.

Well, the USA's in Southeast Asia, them hippies are getting whinny.
Well you can tell the guy from North Vietnam...
to shim it up his hinnie, yes you can!

Narr: The number 1 country singer, from the number one country - USA.
      And if you order right away, you get an additional album
      at no extra cost: 'Cal McClain Jr.: Songs for my ex-wives': 

Dear Morene, I'm sorry my darling, and though you don't seem to care,
But I've still got my pride, and one thing to say...
You can stick it up your derriere!

Narr: Order now to recieve both albums. Send .95 to:
      "Messages: the speciality songs of Cal McClain Jr."
      Lynchburg, Tennesse.

Yeah, I hope you like these albums, but if you don't
you know what you can do, yeah!

(transcribed by Michelle Wetherholt)