Red Hooded Sweatshirt
Performed by Adam Sandler on 13 Feb 1993 (Alec Baldwin)

My mom bought you when I was just 13,
 the brightest red sweatshirt I ever seen.
She got an extra large so I wouldn't grow out,
 "That's too big for you!" the other kids would shout.
But we stuck together, we didn't quit,
 and now the children say, "What a perfect fit."

I love you sweeeeatshirt
red hooded
sweeeeatshirt
dip dip dip
sweeeeatshirt
shama lama ding dong
sweeeeatshirt.

I like to rest my hands in your kangaroo pouch,
 it makes them feel comfy like a big soft couch.
And I don't care if the weather's no good,
 I say "See you later rain" as I pull up my hood.
Remember that long bus trip when I needed a nap?,
 I used you as a pillow on that Spanish lady's lap.

I love you sweeeeatshirt
red hooded
sweeeeatshirt
dip dip dip
sweeeeatshirt
shama lama ding dong
sweeeeatshirt.

Oh what is it about you that makes me so jolly?,
 Is it your fifty cotton or your fifty poly?

I don't knoooooooww
ohh ohh hoo hoo hoo.

Oh red hooded sweatshirt we been through a lot together
like that time I played in that shirts and skins basketball game
and I had to take you off and throw you in the corner of the gym.
I was midway through the game and then I saw you looking at me.
You were staring as if to say "Adam, you suck at basketball,
you dribble like a damn woman."  I was so mad I challenged you
to a game of one on one and you know sweatshirt, even though I
beat you 11 to 9, deep in my soul I know you missed those lay-ups
on purpose.  You let me win and that why (Kevin, please help
me out)

I love you sweeeeatshirt
red hooded     <kevin nealon>
sweeeeatshirt
dip dip dip    <kevin nealon>
sweeeeatshirt
shama lama ding dong    <kevin nealon>
sweeeeatshirt.

Come on audience members, help me out here.

I love you sweeeeatshirt
red hooded    <unknown audience member>
sweeeeatshirt
dip dip dip   <paul mccartney>
sweeeeatshirt
shama lama ling dong    <linda mccartney>
sweeeeatshirt.

I love you sooooooooooo.

Happy Valentine's Everybody!

(transcribed by Doug Krause <dijon@lido.com>)