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! Primer! New here? Read this!

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Archive-name: tv/red-dwarf/primer
Posting-Frequency: weekly
Maintainer: Raz <>

See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge
WELCOME to ALT.TV.RED-DWARF!  The group for Red Dwarf related chit-chat!

| Last update: 10 Sep 98

  Lines starting with a "|" denote changes from the last update through to
  this one.

[-- 1. Introduction ---------------------------------------------------]

  Firstly, a huge sloppy 'Thanks!' for reading this!

  Secondly, if you're new to the Internet, you could do a lot worse than
  check out the "news.announce.newusers" group, which will tell you about
  Internet Ettiquette (nettiquette).

  Thirdly, now you're here, please read this right through, it *will*
  save you scorn later =).  Think of this as a little manifesto doodah, to
  bring you up to speed on what goes on here, and make you aware of certain
  things, like...

[-- 2. The Red-Dwarf Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) list ------------]

  Try to read the FAQ before doing anything - you might very well find
  your answers in there, and posting old questions will make you look a
  silly-billy =).

2.1 Obtaining the FAQ

  You could...

  a) Wait for it to appear here, it's posted every two weeks.

  b) Point your favorite Web browser to:

  c) FTP it, if you can FTP - from:  /pub/usenet/news.answers/tv/red_dwarf/faq
      |             |   ^      ^      ^      ^      ^     |
      |The site     |The directory path                   |The file!

  d) Send an email message to...  ..with the
     following line in the message body:

      send /pub/usenet/news.answers/tv/red_dwarf/faq

     ..and a post pod will deliver the FAQ to you, in considerably less time
     than 3 million years...

[-- 3. Newsgroup Policies ---------------------------------------------]

We try to sound grown-up and important, but really we only have five
steadfast rules:

%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&% &% 

  A 'Binary' includes .wav/.gif/.jpeg/.mpeg or any other sound or
  graphic file that you UUencode or use MIME to post to newsgroups.


  This is *very* important!  Some people have to pay (like, with
  *money*) to get news, many grabbing the day's postings in one go to
  read later off-line.  Binaries make the download very much longer, so
  please be considerate of other users.

  If you want to make a Red Dwarf picture or sound file available,
  post it to one of the following newsgroups: (for piccies)     (for sound files)

  ..and then tell everyone.  If possible, try and quote the Message-ID's of
  your posts; this enables those who can't access the groups to pick out
  your articles without subscribing.

b) Horses for courses

  Some people like 'nit-picking' and discussing inconsistencies.  This
  may not be your cup of noodles, but remember that it's their show as
  much as it's yours - if you don't like it, just ignore them and start some
  good topics of your own!

c) Don't "Spoil" things for others.
  (The August Amendment) Accepted 26/8/96

  RD is British, but this newsgroup is global, so when the time comes
  for new material to appear, there'll be various delays before everyone on
  the group has a chance to see it.

  Letting out details of an episode or book *before the readers of your post
  have had the chance to see it themselves* is called "Spoiling". Giving out
  "Spoilers" is something that some people will thank you for, but for which
  everyone else will *despise* you!

  Maintaining the status quo is easy, though.  If you want to talk about
  such stuff, just do the following simple things:

  1. Write "[SPOILERS]" at the start of your Subject line, followed by
     the subject text.  Remember not to put any Spoilers *in* the
     Subject line itself!

  2. Leave about 25 lines (about a screenful) at the top of your post,
     as some software automatically opens each post. Don't rely on
     <Control-L> to clear the screen, as this won't work on all software

  And that's it, the two-step guide to safety when spoiling =)

d) Don't post personal flames

  It will make you look like a smeghead and everyone will call you nasty
  names in the playground afterwards.  If you *have* to slag someone off, be
  an adult:  do it through personal e-mail.  :)

e) Finally, as a group, we never fall for flame-bait, trolls or spams.

  In other words, messages saying "RD is crap!", or advertising
  meaningless rubbish, or anything that's likely to offend you and get
  you to write a scathing reply that the troller can laugh about.

  Well, okay, we do - but if you *really* can't stop yourself following up,
  at least try and be funny =).

  It's also worth noting that spams are often "crossposted" (posted to
  lots and lots of uncaring newsgroups).  If you're going to follow up
  the post, its usually best to edit those other groups out.

[-- 4. Common-sense Ettiquette ----------------------------------------]

Here's a little guide to making life here absolutely peachy:

a) Don't post test messages...  Send them to the misc.test or alt.test
   groups instead.  You get automatic acknowledgements, that way, and it
   saves you being murdered in a variety of interesting ways.

b) Don't overquote.  Why, say, quote an entire 100 line message just
   to add 'I agree', at the bottom?  Old arguments are boring: people
   wanna see your juicy *new* stuff!

  *One exception here is Spoiler space.  There's no problem in quoting
  *the minimum ammount of Spoiler space from a previous post.

c) Keep line length around the 70-75 character mark, as it is here.
   Apart from being viewed on various machines, your posts will get
   quoted, so space is needed to fit the quoting symbols in.

   Uppercase indicates shouting.  Do it occasionally by all means but
   not too much, it'll lessen the effect =).

e) Use something to show your humour, sarcasm, etc.  It's easy to be
   misinterpreted, otherwise!  Smileys are the most common form of
   shorthand expressionism... :-)  =)  :)  :-(

f) Be interesting, charming, witty, incisive, sexy...  you get the
   idea, and if you really *have* to play the guitar, please put on a
   spacesuit and do it outside.  :)

[-- 5. More stuff we do! ----------------------------------------------]

If you somehow find yourself feeling at home here in
and even want *more*, then don't fret, the fun just doesn't stop!

5.1 Live!

  The'ers invaded IRC some time ago, and regular get-togethers take
  place on Sunday nights around 20:30, UK time, and at many other times
  during the week, either in #atvrd on Dalnet or on the EFNet/ IRCnet
  #starbug channel.

  It's worth noting that what used to be EFNet has now split into two
  seperate networks, IRCnet and EFnet.  Check which network your server will
  connect you to!

  For the temporally challenged =), here's a little table.

  Continent :     North America     :      Europe      :    Australia
  Time code :     PST        EST    :   GMT     CET    :   WST      EST
  Example   : Los Angeles  New York :  London  Paris   :  Perth   Sydney
  Time*     :    12:30      15:30   :  20:30   21:30   :  05:30    07:30
  From GMT  :    -8hrs      -5hrs   :   ---    +1hr    :  +9hrs   +11hrs

  * Times may be wrong, but, well... they're close, okay?  Mail Raz =)

  For lots of spiffy information on accessing and using IRC, look out
  for the fabby FAQs posted in the "alt.irc" newsgroup, or hop on the
  Web at ""

5.2 on the Worldwide Web

  As part of a longstanding tradition, the official
  Newsgroup Webpages have recently moved house once more!

  The current URL (and this *replaces* the old site at Cobalt) is:

  Talk to Chris ( or Raz (
  for more info or to offer contributions (badly needed!).

5.3 Post Of The Month

  It's back!

  Something which you may not be aware of is the monthly awards ceremony
  that goes on peacefully in darkened corners of the group.  If you see a
  post that particularly tickles your fancy, either for comedic value,
  information content, or sheer hard work =), why not nominate it as Post Of
  The Month?

  It's easy; just forward the post by email to Epideme at: don't even have to say *why* you're nominating, though it might
  help 'Deme to tell him in the Subject line why you're sending him email...

  At the end of each month, Epideme will re-post all the nominations he has
  received, giving each a number.  Mail him again, telling him which number
  post you think is best.  The votes are tallied, and the winning post and
  the runners-up receive immortality on the newsgroup webpages! Yay!

5.4 UK meets

  Chris has brought back into existance the mailing list created to help
  organise meetings for UK members of the group to generally slob around and
  have a few laughs.

  Details of how to subscribe are on the website.

[-- 6. And that's it... -----------------------------------------------]

...yup, it certainly is.  If you have any problems or queries regarding this
newsgroup or this little Primer, or if you are unsure about anything, please
feel free to email one of the Agony Droids below:

  Raz                -
  Friday             -
  Annette            -
  Charles Daniels    -

Obviously, if you have a country-specific query, pick an appropriate
chap or chappess.

The above are not netcops, honest, just the kind of hard-living
flatfoots who get the job done by cutting corners and bucking authority;
people who have volunteered to help you, the new lifeform, into this

Thanks, and see you in the drive room...

The boys and girls from the Dwarf.


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Last Update March 27 2014 @ 02:12 PM