Archive-name: tv/mad-about-you/season4
Posting-frequency: quarterly Last-modified: 97-01-05 Version: 5.1 URL: http://www.alumni.caltech.edu/~witelski/may-eg4.html Copyright: (c) 1994-1997 by Ramaswamy [ramax@ultranet.com] See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge ---------------------------------------------------------------- Episode Guide for Season #4 of "Mad About You" for the Usenet newsgroup alt.tv.mad-about-you ---------------------------------------------------------------- Archive-name: tv/mad-about-you/season4 Posting-frequency: quarterly Last-modified: 97-01-05 Version: 5.1 ---------------------------------------------------------------- This Episode Guide for the TV Comedy show "Mad About You" is, as a collection of information, Copyright (c) 1994-1997 by Ramaswamy [ramax@ultranet.com]. All Rights Reserved. This document may be freely distributed in electronic form for personal use only, provided it is distributed in its entirety and with all original author and copyright information intact. Distribution by any other means must be by permission of the copyright holder. This material is for non-commercial use only and any sale for profit is expressly forbidden. It may not be included in any commercial documents, archives or CD-ROMs, nor uploaded to any BBS or online service without the permission of the copyright holder. The removal of this copyright notice is prohibited. ---------------------------------------------------------------- The MAY Episode Guides: Episode Guide for Season #1 Episode Guide for Season #2 Episode Guide for Season #3 Episode Guide for Season #4 Episode Guide for Season #5 ---------------------------------------------------------------- The Fourth Season ---------------------------------------------------------------- Table of Contents Cast of Characters Supporting Characters The Production Team 4.1 (401) 95-09-24 New Sleep-walking PLUS [Season Opener] 4.2 (402) 95-10-01 The Parking Space 4.3 (403) 95-10-29 The Good, the Bad and the Not-So-Appealing 4.4 (404) 95-11-05 I Don't See It 4.5 (405) 95-11-12 Yoko Said 4.6 (406) 95-11-19 An Angel For Murray 4.7 (407) 95-11-26 The Couple 4.8 (408) 95-12-17 New Year's Eve 4.9 (409) 96-01-07 Ovulation Day 4.10 (410) 96-01-14 Get Back 4.11 (411) 96-02-04 Dream Weaver 4.12 (413) 96-02-18 Hot and Cold 4.13 (414) 96-02-25 Fertility 4.14 (412) 96-03-10 Everybody Hates Me 4.15 (415) 96-03-17 Do Me A Favor 4.16 (416) 96-03-24 The Glue People 4.17 (417) 96-03-31 The Sample 4.18 (418) 96-04-14 The Procedure 4.19 (419) 96-04-21 The Weed 4.20 (420) 96-04-28 The Award 4.21 (421) 96-05-05 The Finale (Part I) 4.22 (422/3) 96-05-19 The Finale (Parts II & III) [Season Finale] ---------------------------------------------------------------- Telecasts in Syndication: As of September 1996, episodes from this season are being aired in syndication in North America, with approximately 1 minute of content snipped from the original telecasts in 1995-96. Check your local TV listings for the station, days and times of telecast. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Cast of Characters Paul Buchman . . . . . . . . . . . . Paul Reiser Jamie Buchman . . . . . . . . . . . Helen Hunt Lisa Stemple . . . . . . . . . . . . Anne Ramsay Fran Devanow . . . . . . . . . . . . Leila Kenzle Ira Buchman . . . . . . . . . . . . John Pankow Murray . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Maui Supporting Characters Mark Devanow, Fran's ex-husband . . Richard Kind Burt Buchman, Paul's father . . . . Louis Zorich Sylvia Buchman, Paul's mother . . . Cynthia Harris Debbie, Paul's sister . . . . . . . Robin Bartlett Maggie Conway, neighbour in 11-C . . Judy Geeson Hal Conway, Maggie's husband . . . . Jim Piddock Allison Rourke, Paul's boss . . . . Gates McFadden Sid Novak, Paul's editor . . . . . . George O. Petrie Hollis Pavelle, Paul's co-worker . . David Strickland Lance Brockwell, Jamie's boss . . . Alan Ruck Doug Berkus, Brockwell's deputy . . Bradley White Nat, Murray's walker . . . . . . . . Hank Azaria ---------------------------------------------------------------- 4.1 New Sleep-walking PLUS [Season Opener] Jamie is enthralled by it, Paul doesn't remember it, Murray didn't see it, and Ira laughs at it -- another night and the day after in the Buchmans' lives. Meanwhile Paul finds employment at the Explorer Channel. Written by: Paul Reiser Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: Jamie warbling about the Copacabana. Tag: Murray displaying his knowledge of the ABCs. Words: Primal, violation Keys: Belt removal with a bite, khakis vs chinos, Chino-boy at the Explorer Channel, being groomed at Klarik's, breaking the clock, saving the sales tax, cab-driver joke, begging without words, Egyptian beer, never late (like a clock), the sideburn distraction, the handshake and the situation well-handled. The debut of Allison Rourke. - Paul: [moving from kitchen to livingroom to bedroom] "Okay, so, anyway, so I tell her this is not the kind of thing I was hoping to do right now. She starts telling me about state-of-the-art editing facilities, and ba-ba-ba-bah, then she starts talking about the money, which is like, no-kidding-around, real money. Plus they've got medical plans and there's like a pension plan, then there's a plan with a "K" where they put money away for you -- you've got to explain this one to me! So I mean, I don't want to work for anybody -- but I was thinking it's not really selling out because it's what I do and it's... I don't know..." Jamie: [tagging along, motioning toward the bathroom] "Go do what you have to do." Paul: [moving on to the bathroom] "Oh ya, and I was thinking the people are really nice but, I thought, do I really want to have meetings with guys named Chuck and... [pause, returning from the bathroom with the object of his enquiry] Hey! What is this?" Guest Characters: Allison Rourke . . . . . . . . . Gates McFadden Cassandra, at Klarik's . . . . . . Bok Yun Chun Cab-drivers' Union man . . . . . . Daniel Chodos "We don't stare" woman . . . . . . Paunita Nichols "What next?" grocer . . . . . . . Jeremiah Morris 4.2 The Parking Space After a 4-year wait the Buchmans finally have dibs on a parking space in a nearby garage, but still no car, and they soon manage to reverse the situation. Written by: Billy Grundfest Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: Murray being told to put his clothes on. Tag: Murray moving the Buchmans' car around. Keys: Soap or shampoo (with mink placenta), or maybe dish-washing liquid, smelling like Hawaiian Punch, space #123 in condo garage, kicking the can, grabbing the cart, potential capital gain, loofah rub, Fran and Ira using each other, the I-have-a-Dream speech, the huge leap for Buchman-kind, the credit report, going at it whole-assed, the lighter from the Canyon. - Paul: "How could you let this happen?" Jamie: "Excuse me?" Paul: "This is all your fault!" Jamie: "On what planet?" Paul: "You... you gave entirely too much weight to my argument. Do you realize, we have a parking space, we don't have a CAR!" Jamie: "Don't tell ME! *I* told YOU!" Paul: "You... your job is to stop me from doing something idiotic. Idiotic, I can do that by myself!" Supporting Cast: Mark. Guest Characters: Leo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mark Schiff Bank of Manhattan loan officer . . Wayne Wilderson 4.3 The Good, the Bad and the Not-So-Appealing Inspired by a Martha Stewart idea, Sylvia organizes a high-noonish tag-what-you-want lunch party for her family, complete with a shoot-out in the kitchen with Jamie, except it is not much of a contest. Written by: Victor Levin Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: Blissful couch-potatoes hitting a hair snag. Tag: Sylvia mending fences with Murray. Words: Rustic, eclectic. Expressions: Zip over, swing over, jump over or scoot; go over, pass on, or die. Keys: Grocery list vs perusal, hearts of palm, never veal, Farberware dish, low sodium diet (for two), singing salmon or yodeling sharks, telling the family (and Sylvia), no fights or friction, Sharon on the phone, knowing the ring, couch-dating by slip-covers, Hyatt shampoo, the money clip, Paulie's shoes and Jamie... Buchman. - Jamie: "That's it. I give up!" Paul: "All right... all right..." Jamie: "Cultivate a relationship! What was I thinking?" Paul: "Sweetie..." Jamie: "I'll tell you the truth -- if she weren't your mother..." Paul: "Then, then what?" Jamie: "Then... something... very... very bad." Supporting Cast: Sylvia, Burt and Debbie. 4.4 I Don't See It At first Paul has a only vague notion he knows who Jamie's interview at City Hall is with, but he figures it out and complicates matters for Jamie and Fran just as they are about to land an important account. Written by: Brenda Hampton Directed by: Gordon Hunt Tease: Jamie twisting an answer out of Paul. Tag: Paul trying to out-do Jamie's trick, but hardly. Words: Haberdasher, high-falutin' Expression: "I'm the mommy!" Keys: Expanding the store, the bra trick, book on public restrooms, publicity for the mayor (forget the haircut), 3 words: movie, permit, coyotes, the incompetent weasel, or pencil-pushing pin-head, zim-boom-crash, kippers and chocolates in Nova Scotia (or on the boat), the exact same example (in stereo), 3AM feedings. The debut of Lance Brockwell. - Jamie: "Wish me luck!" Paul: "I wish you whatever is best." Jamie: "What does that mean?" Paul: "Well, if this job is meant to be, then I wish it on you; if it is not, then I don't." Jamie: "Are you wishing me luck or not?" Paul: "I will say to you there is nothing you can say or do that will make Lance Brockwell not hire you." Jamie: "Thank you!" [she kisses him and turns to leave] Paul: "Ask him if he knows who I think he is!" Supporting Cast: Sid. Guest Characters: Lance Brockwell . . . . . . . . . . Alan Ruck Brockwell's assistant . . . . . . . Wendle Josepher Bernard, the "Titanic" guy . . . . Eric Christmas 4.5 Yoko Said Yoko Ono is in town for some film happenings and Paul tries to do something different for the Explorer Channel with her help, except it is not his idea and he can't pull it off, not even after fasting for five days. Written by: Billy Grundfest and Paul Reiser Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: Paul home-shopping for Three Stooges plates. ("Nnooh!") Tag: Paul and Jamie and Murray and Yoko in bed, reading, to the tunes of "All We Are Saying..." Expression: "Wind-breaking project" Keys: On falcons in the Chrysler building, or crop fungus, going 0 for 9, a), b) and c), carbon-based life-forms, shoeless at Yoko's, April 19th (not Patriot's Day), the 5-day fast, bumping Jacques Cousteau, Jamie's dance steps, Armenian sandwiches, a fountain of ideas. The debut of Hollis Pavelle. - Ira: "You want to know what art is?" Paul: "Why don't you tell me!" Ira: "Art is the representation of that which the mind can imagine but only the heart knows to be true." Paul: "Where did you get that? Empire Szechuan?" Supporting Cast: Allison. Guest Characters: As herself . . . . . . . . . . . Yoko Ono Sycophant #1 (Hollis Pavelle) . . David Strickland Sycophant #2 . . . . . . . . . . Monica Allison 4.6 An Angel For Murray With Murray around the Buchmans are no dinks, so when Lisa demurs they are obliged to hire a professional to walk Murray. And Murray seems to prefer the newcomer to Paul. Written by: Seth Kurland Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: The Buchman version of the national anthem, sitting down. Tag: Only an empty E.R. for Paul. Words: Station, megalopolis, relieving. Keys: ER shoot (with crew wearing clogs), Devanow-Buchman or the other way around, or maybe Slater-Damski, drama, trauma and frauma, six hours in Winnipeg, wailing all day, sensitive/defective pads, the meatloaf sound, tiny scissors and a toothbrush, Jerry Vale's lullaby, office furnishings on the free, the first rollover. The debut of Nat. - Nat: "... I mean, you ask anybody that knows me well and they'll tell you voluntarily that Nat, Nat is a lover of all creatures, great and small. Nat would not harm a gnat, is a joke I enjoy making." Paul: "So... so the answer is yes?" Nat's double: Furry Murray, F. Murray Abraham. Supporting Cast: Hollis and Maggie. Guest Characters: Nat, the dog-walker . . . . . . . Hank Azaria The Nurse . . . . . . . . . . . . Joyce Guy The furniture mover . . . . . . . Bob Amaral Mr. Fefvil, the neighbor . . . . Bill Saluga Neighbor at the mailboxes . . . . David Steinberg 4.7 The Couple Three lies, two shows and a realization as Paul and Jamie figure out "why it will never happen" to them, or so one is led to believe when their new friends turn out to be not quite what they pretend to be. Written by: Kenny Schwartz Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: Watching the late-night TV fare, asleep. Words: Flummoxed, pillage, plunder. Keys: Taking Murray to doggy-park, early-50's Allison, "Hello Dolly" and R.E.M. (and maybe Sting), 400-lb Artie, on first-name-only basis, not the Jetsons or Stadlers, vomiting in sync, the scarlet letter joke, rhythm vs syncopation, the key to a good lie -- commitment, Boutros Boutros-Ghali Buchman, the protection lie, messenger issue, all the excuses, then the other part. - Paul: "Listen..." Ira: "So that's what you came up with, huh? Fat Artie went to lunch? That's the best you could do?" Paul: "I know, I know, but can I explain? Because there is an explanation..." Ira: "And y'know what's worse? I believed you! I should have known better. Fat Artie and I go back eight years! This guy lives in that chair. Fat Artie doesn't go to lunch; lunch comes to Fat Artie!" Supporting Cast: Allison. Guest Characters: Doug . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Brian McNamara Didi . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lisa Waltz Mischa's owner . . . . . . . . . . Fred Stoller Spanky's owner . . . . . . . . . . Gilbert Gottfried 4.8 New Year's Eve Paul and Jamie are obliged to spend New Year's Eve apart for the first time, but strange happenings at Times Square have a will, and a way, all their own. Written by: Scott Silveri and Shana Goldberg-Meehan Directed by: David Steinberg Tag: Dick Clark planning the next New Year's Eve. Words: Coifed, garbed, apocalypse. Keys: Paul's wallet -- canvas with velcro or calf-skin (but not eel), mid-night, champagne and Tom Brokaw, glass of wine, 2 teamsters and thou, not a penny -- maybe a goat, Westside Free Clinic, Queen Anne style chairs at Gracie Mansion, Canadian money, '79 condom, first phone number (with French 7s), stopping a clock (maybe), the 1-second holiday, the 2-minute note, Kenny without G, Bill and Ernie, Tanglewood and Boca, breathe, breathe, push, pull. - Nat: "Hey, there!" Jamie: "Hey, Nat." Nat: [taking in Jamie's dress] "Wow, wow! Are you coifed and garbed in an attractive fashion!" Jamie: "Thank you very much!" Paul: "How're you doing there, Nat?" Nat: "Hey there, sir! No disrespect, Mr. Buchman, but holy cats! She's going to stop traffic in that outfit!" Jamie and Paul: [together] "Traffic... is what you stop." Nat: [greeting Murray] "There he is! Hey there, sir!" Jamie: "So Nat, what do you have planned for tonight?" Nat: "Well Mrs. Buchman, and once again -- wow! Ah, I choose to treat this day as I would any other day. Say a Wednesday, or a Monday..." Paul: "Or a Tuesday..." Nat: "Sure, Tuesday, sure. I just never place much emphasis on New Year's Eve." Nat's triple: Murray Tyler Moore, Virgin Murray, Murray the K. Bill and Ernest's chain of names: Robert Clary --> Yaphet Kotto --> Omar Bradley --> Yanni... Supporting Cast: Mark, Nat and Lance. Guest Characters: Brenda, at Klarik's . . . . . . . Kathy Griffin Randall, Lisa's friend . . . . . . Willie Garson Lily, Ira's friend . . . . . . . . Tracy Kolis Bill and Ernest . . . . . . . . . John Capodice and John F. O'Donohue Mrs Velasquez, Joachim's mother . Bridget Sienna Mark's grateful patient . . . . . Linda Porter Sanitation Dept. man . . . . . . . Tino Insana Telephone pageboy . . . . . . . . Randl Ask 4.9 Ovulation Day Paul and Jamie try to time a love-in-the-afternoon rendezvous back at their apartment, but his family shows up at the most inopportune time, with Debbie springing a big surprise. Written by: Victor Levin and Danny Jacobson Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: Jamie guessing the price of Paul's shirt. Tag: Maggie belting out "Rule Britannia" on the washer. Words: Wow or wowie, Waxed and waned. Keys: Jamie's medieval quality, unnecessary orgasms, car-door slamming vs mother calling vs smell in the sink, the egg beeper (beeping wolf), telephone sex, Vermont with Joan, a threesome without a guy, playing with boot at Monopoly, $1000 bribe, Run silent, Run deep, Murray entertaining himself, the laundry room door-knob, washing-machine thrills. - Debbie: "You know, Joan is a doctor." Sylvia: "That's supposed to make me feel better?" Debbie: "I don't know Ma..." [leaving the apartment] Sylvia: [pause, calling after her] "What kind of doctor?" Supporting Cast: Burt, Sylvia, Debbie, Sid and Maggie. Guest Characters: Interested woman . . . . . . . . . Billye Ree Wallace 2-note tuba playing boy . . . . . Kellen Hatahway 4.10 Get Back Jamie throws out her back during adventurous sex on the floor, so Paul has to help out with one of her duties at City Hall while also trying to get his father to see an optometrist. Story by: Seth Kurland and Ron Darian Teleplay by: Kenny Schwartz and Shana Goldberg-Meehan Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: A cold splash for Paul is not very satisfying to Jamie. Tag: The WNBC Special Report is not satisfying either. Words: Shan't, stick-to-it-tiveness, trepidation. Keys: The 3 Tischs, the dissident, the return of the mouse, the cheesecake, A to Z of ailments, the first letter is always 'E', the unbelievable strawberries, Jamie doing cal-cal-calesthenics, Nat's first language and Paul's last, translation on the fly, especially of 'ook mok.' - Maggie: [in the corridor outside] "Young man!" Nat: [closing the door to 11-D behind him] "Yes. Hey, Ma'am! How're you doing?" Maggie: "Fine... there's a package in there for me, a cheesecake from England. Would you mind going in there and getting it for me?" Nat: [hesitant] "Oh boy... ma'am, I'm real sorry, but I consider that to be just outside the parameters of what I understand to be my dooties, at least, as I understand 'em at the present time." Maggie: "But you have the key!" Nat: "Yes, I do have this key, but I consider it to be a sacred trust, the Buchmans were kind enough to bestow this upon me, and to violate that just for the purpose of retrieving a dessert item, hmm... Boy! I don't know..." Maggie: [considers him at length] "Is English your first language?" Nat: "Yes ma'am, my first, and God willing, my last." Nat's doubles: Jan Murray, Murray Slaughter. Murray Antoinette, Murray Osmond. Bill Murray, Murray-Lu Henner. Supporting Cast: Mark, Burt, Sylvia, Maggie and Nat. Guest Characters: Dr. Mandel's receptionist . . . . Nancy Fish Professor Gittelson . . . . . . . Leland Orser Professor Ng Lieu Cho . . . . . . Jim Lau Homeless at NYU . . . . . . . . . Otto Coelho Guiseppe, the Baker . . . . . . . Peirrino Mascarino Sophia, his daughter . . . . . . . Fabiana Udenio Delivery man . . . . . . . . . . . Armando Molina 4.11 Dream Weaver A night of cascading dreams, Paul's and Jamie's, featuring ostriches and ducks and a party, with lots of interpretation and a poem (and a half) by Henry Gibson. Written by: Billy Grundfest Directed by: Thomas Schlamme Tease: Paul dealing with a stuck kitchen drawer. Tag: The Laugh-In mob exiting, kleptomaniacs and all. Expression: "In your dreams, baby! In your dreams!" Keys: Kwanzaa for kicks, hawk for salad, Ostrich de l'Orange, unwinding au naturale in Fiji, the "Oh" dreams, the ginkgo nut (not!), February 12th (oh boy!), Laugh-In books and the Frug, time or Thyme, horse shoes and dog pants, Mylanta at 3AM, Fear - the new fragrance. - Jamie: "Are you angry with me about something?" Paul: "I don't know, dopey... it's your dreams! You tell me... am I angry with you about something?" Jamie: "Yes!" Paul: "Okay... why?" Jamie: [pause] "I don't know." Supporting Cast: Allison, Sid, Nat and Maggie. Guest Characters: The waiter . . . . . . . . . . . . Frank Birney As himself. . . . . . . . . . . . Henry Gibson As himself. . . . . . . . . . . . Arte Johnson As himself. . . . . . . . . . . . Gary Owens As herself. . . . . . . . . . . . JoAnne Worley 4.12 Hot and Cold Ira resumes gambling, wins a lot, hands out generous presents and then takes a $4000 bath -- no problems for him, but not so much for the Buchmans. Written by: Kenny Schwartz and Danny Jacobson Directed by: Thomas Schlamme Tease: Jamie asking Paul about a tie she gave Burt. Tag: The newly annointed ex-cons exiting the precinct. Word: Pissy. Keys: Cold hot oatmeal with cinnamon, or new old cheese, Alaska and Tahiti in 11-D, Murray at the Equator, the new super and doorman, eat food and burn calories (in stereo), underground casino upstairs, egg-rolls free for $200, unclogged pores, the retailing savant, the fish story, the one call from the cell. - Mark: [to Paul] "You know what I find? You don't laugh at other people's jokes!" - Paul: "Where is... where's your check-book?" Jamie: "If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day. If you teach him how to fish, he eats for a lifetime!" Paul: "You know... don't you know there's a side of you that no one likes?" Supporting Cast: Mark. Guest Characters: Bobby, the bouncer . . . . . . . . Robert Costanzo Johnny, the casino man . . . . . . Chick Vennera "If I were a Rich Man" patron . . Andrew Gold The dealer . . . . . . . . . . . . Michael Yama 4.13 Fertility Paul and Jamie embark on an organic fertility enhancement program with Mark's help, plus a day-off at a fancy local hotel at Fran's suggestion. Story by: Liz Sagal and McNally Sagal Teleplay by: Larry Charles Directed by: Gordon Hunt Tease: Paul imitating Murray at the fridge. Tag: The hotel clerk guessing Murray's pedigree. Expression: "Nobody is going to say WHAT?" Keys: Pyjama bottoms to work (how true!), periods or exclamation points, the humiliating chair, yams vs sweet potatoes, the Fur people of Djibouti (near the Sahara? not!), quai or ki, the 50% decline in 75 years, Murray with nose-guard, Buckman vs Boochmaan, popcorn tossing, the last Buchmans and the last Pandas. - Paul: "Let me ask you something..." Ira: "What?" Paul: "Does it bother you to know that if we don't procreate soon, that it means it is the end of the Buchman dynasty!" Ira: "Dynasty?" Paul: "Yeah..." Ira: "The Mings had a dynasty. The Buchmans have got a puppy and a piece of fish in the freezer." Paul: "You and I are it. If we don't produce an heir, it is all over." Ira: "If you and me are it, let me tell you, it deserves to be all over." [and there is more...] Supporting Cast: Mark and Hollis. Guest Characters: Bobby, the lighting man . . . . . Tyrees Allen The Slackton Hotel clerk . . . . . Patrick Bristow 4.14 Everybody Hates Me Jamie tries a new look with interesting consequences, while Ira feels betrayed at the love-game, let down by his quality wing-man Paul who digs himself a big hole discussing beauty. Written by: Victor Levin Directed by: Thomas Schlamme Tease: On throwing out an asparagus tea-pot. Tag: On the collapse of Mario Lanza, still serenading. Words: Splinky, Tesoro. Keys: Sei canoli, Aphrodite and Helen of Troy, al..though from Paul, faux naturale hair, stress lines, Paul lines, Debbie the accountant, near-monologue on dramatic beauty vs sophisticated one, 6 hours 42 minutes (but intimate), 2 weeks 4 days 2 hours (but finito), extremely not broke, the 7-year olds brawl, Gurkha wisdom, sfogliatelli or biscotti, or dough-nuts. - [All that preceded this, you've to see for yourself!] Debbie: [after a pause] "So Ira met a pretty girl?" Paul: "That's all I'm saying..." - Mark: "I don't hate you anymore. Jamie doesn't hate you -- Jamie is just... she's upset." Paul: "Why? Why would she be upset with.. that I like her hair?" Mark: [reflecting] "You know... when I was in Nepal, I am chatting with this sherpa about the question of why, which in his language is pronounced "nchtem," and he said, he said something very interesting -- he said that asking the question why is like pulling one leg off a centipede -- it gets you nowhere!" Paul: "Why?" Mark: "Because... for every question why the answer is because, and for every because there's another why!" Paul: "Yeah, but I've to understand.. why would she be so angry at me?" Mark: "Because... she's afraid that after she has the baby [both Paul and Mark knock-wood on Riff's table], she's, she's afraid that she won't be attractive or sexy." Paul: "But that's so stupid! Why? Why, why?" Mark: "Ah-ah-ah.. you see? The sherpa was right. He was a wise man. A sage. He was a sage." Supporting Cast: Debbie, Mark and Nat. Guest Characters: Guiseppe, the Baker . . . . . . . Peirrino Mascarino Sophia, his daughter . . . . . . . Fabiana Udenio 4.15 Do Me A Favor The saga of a daisy-chain of favors, triggered by the young daughter of Ira's girlfriend wanting an autographed picture of Hizzoner, and complicated by Paul and his fancy new camera. Written by: Ron Darian Directed by: Gordon Hunt Tease: Paul trying to cure Jamie's hiccups. Tag: The Mayoral signing and a daisy-chain of IOUs. Words: Futzing, chortle. Keys: The "Fun City" committee, 2-button flippant blouse, the unsafe Big Apple, steak and eggs for breakfast, corn-flakes for dinner, stuffing the owl-shot, inside a cab-driver's ear, $5/shot, geero or gyro, Chinese or sandwiches, a little present from Paul, one phone-call, blackmail vs stupidity. The debut of Doug Berkus. - Jamie: "If I can chair that committee, I can have influence over policy and if I have influence over policy, it will affect legislation!" Paul: "And then what?" Jamie: [pause] "I don't know." Paul: "Everything is so political..." Jamie: "It's City Hall!" Paul: "I know, but it's so.. it's so political!" Supporting Cast: Lance Brockwell. Guest Characters: Iris . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kathleen Wilhoite Sophie, her daughter . . . . . . . Tiffany Taubman Doug Berkus, Brockwell's deputy . Bradley White Arthur, Mayor's ex-campaign-mgr . Richard Portnow The bar-fly . . . . . . . . . . . John C. McDonnel 4.16 The Glue People The mix of Jamie and Paul, Fran and Mark, and Iris and Ira, with call-waiting, split screens, a campaign commercial, and dinner for six featuring a reversal of fortunes. Written by: Victor Levin Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: Guessing what their dermatologist is doing, at 10:30PM. Tag: Paul giving directions on the phone, in the new NYC. Words: Officious, mollify, indefatigable. Keys: Cereal with a 'K', understanding crimes of passion, the 5c increase in subway fare, renaming the streets, kitchen to bedroom phone call, live-TV pantomime, the announcement, Nazi argument, a-political propagandist, the crushing mistake, Leni Riefenstahl, the field-trip to Hayden Planetarium (but not to The Met), the bread with the topping (what is it called?), Edmund Muskie (poor man), marital pressure (from whom?). - Jamie: "Wait! Before you say no, just hear me out!" Paul: "Okay." Jamie: [pause, totally at a loss] "PLEASE!" Paul: "Sweetie.. it's politics. I'm not-- I'm like-- I'm against-- I'm not-- I'm anti-- I'm non--" Jamie: [back in control] "You're a-political." Paul: "Yes, I am a-political, I'm Switzerland. You know what I mean? I don't get involved." Jamie: "Switzerland would get involved under some circumstances!" Paul: "Like what?" Jamie: "Like if its wife asked it to!" Supporting Cast: Mark, Sid, Doug Berkus and Lance Brockwell. Guest Characters: Iris . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kathleen Wilhoite Maitre d' . . . . . . . . . . . . James Lesure 4.17 The Sample The next step in the Buchman Baby saga is trying to find out if Paul is the reason Jamie is unable to conceive, and a trip to the hospital is in the cards. But a cooler, the theft of their car, a dramatic chase and the NYPD Bomb Squad get in on the action. Written by: Victor Levin Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: Jamie dealing with Paul's annoying noises. Tag: The nurse helping a patient locate his container. Words: Doable, dilly-dally. Keys: The dramatic cooler (with a billion Buch-men, but no soda), the return of the slow elevator, or the lift, picnic in 40-deg weather, Sidney Lumet and Al Pacino, percolating or making decaf, Bobby Casuto's fastball, the depository, Slap And Tickle, the chase and the wreck, Lisa and Sanford Klarik (from Harvard, Yale and then Brown), Jamie and the Betty-Boop song. - Paul: "You think that actually could have done some damage?" Ira: [smirks] "Well, Paulie, it couldn't have helped." Paul: "Do me a favor -- don't mention this to Jamie." Ira: "Why?" Paul: "Because she'll get mad." Ira: "Why? That you took a hard one in the grapes?" Paul: "Believe me -- if we can't have a kid because I was crowding the plate..." Ira: "Paulie, but you were protecting the strike zone!" Paul: "Uh, well, just don't tell her!" Supporting Cast: Mark, Maggie and Hal Conway. Guest Characters: Russ Yanowicz, the male nurse . . Brad Garrett The Truck driver . . . . . . . . . Vic Polizos Man with coffee (and tea) order . Chris Bonno Musician patient . . . . . . . . . Wesley Thompson 4.18 The Procedure Jamie undergoes a minor diagnostic procedure and is quite smitten by her doctor. Meanwhile Ira rescues Paul's job at the Explorer Channel. Written by: Brenda Hampton and Larry Charles Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: Paul getting a call from Andy Griffith (with an -ith). Tag: Hollis tracking down the Unibal Talent agency. Word: Ossified. Keys: The Louisa May Alcott look, the full-figured wife, corporate policy, new agent, Uniball with one 'L' (it's Portuguese), big fish in tiny little pond, the big ruse, a little base, maybe eye-liner, ugly surgeon vs handsome podiatrist, Mark's ab-crunches, and the firm tone, Yesh and yesh, the immaculate page, Chicago Hope without Mandy Patinkin, unmasking Dr. Griffin, and the final yay. - Jamie: [in a black slip] "Okay, how is this?" Lisa: "Honey... black for surgery? I don't think that's the statement you want to make." Fran: "It's surgery, not a date!" Lisa: "It's a date." Fran: "She's lying there unconscious!" Lisa: "What! You've never been on a date like that before?" - Ira: [on the phone] "Vaya con dios." Paul: [hanging up] "Yeah... I'm good and screwed." Supporting Cast: Mark and Hollis Pavelle. Guest Characters: Doctor Griffin . . . . . . . . . . Julian Stone Doctor Green, anesthesiologist . . Tohoru Masamune Nurse, at the hospital . . . . . . Judyann Elder Nurse, in the operating room . . . Karen Maruyama Customer at Klarik's . . . . . . . Joseph M. Costa Explorer Channel board member . . Ted Sorel 4.19 The Weed Jamie tries to plan for a weekend getaway in Pennsylvania-Dutch country, but Paul is pre-occupied with his current documentary project about a weed to be interested. Written by: Billy Grundfest and Larry Charles Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: Jamie trying her hand at a card trick. Tag: Paul taking in the Ab-Flexor infomercial. Word: Waft. Keys: An address in Gettysburg, Quaker Oats and furniture (or maybe Shaker), off to work in shorts, continuity check, 2-hour lunch with Mark, then the weekend, 2AM calesthenics, 4AM pie, a weed's POV, the 47th take, the changed aisle #9, no belly-aching, street-savvy weed with a nemesis (a cat or a crazed gardener), buttoned-down brown-noser vs pain-in-the-ass, getaway package in Mass., deep deep denial. - Jamie: "I didn't want you to work for the Explorer Channel! I wanted you to work for the Explorer Channel if you wanted to work for the Explorer Channel." Paul: "And if I didn't want to work for the Explorer Channel?" Jamie: "Then I didn't want you to work for the Explorer Channel!" Paul: "Well, I don't remember that part of the conversation." Jamie: "It's true!" Paul: "How do you remember that?" Jamie: "I eat right!" - Jamie: [pointing to the TV] "Look, a women's prison movie. Very sexy." Paul: "Who? ... the woman at the left, in the robe.. her name is Mimsy. She's innocent, she's been framed. There's a big climactic showdown in the shower. A whole lot of blood, and a whole lot of tears. But in the end, justice will prevail." Jamie: "So you've seen this before?" Paul: "Part of it." Shopping doubles: Sweatsocks and rifles, tetherballs and blowguns, wind-breakers and hatchets. Supporting Cast: Sid, Hollis Pavelle and Doug Berkus. Guest Characters: Bobby, the lighting man . . . . . Tyrees Allen Explorer Channel executive . . . . Sherman Howard Customer at Buchman's Sporting . . Amzie Strickland Apartment dweller . . . . . . . . Harry Murphy 4.20 The Award Nominated once again for the Silver Sprocket, a reluctant Paul is coaxed into a tuxedo by Ira and expects to attend the ceremony with Jamie at his side to counter the weasels from the Explorer Channel. Of course things don't quite work out that way. Written by: Ron Darian, Seth Kurland and Larry Charles Directed by: David Steinberg Tease: Jamie locating Paul's back-itch, higher and higher. Word: Panache. Expression: "And the early bird catches the cliche." Keys: The Three Stooges, the tossed sandwich, mail for Murray, the finger with grace and equanimity, yelling at Brockwell's voice-mail, Radisson in Albany, with Rin Tin Tin to Syracuse, The Gin Game at Croton on the Hudson, beer bubbly swap, the date (big guy, tuxedo), 1000 o' clock, a tall glass of water, Nature films (Non-mammalian), a weed and a dream - Wizard of Oz speech, splitting a walk, Errol Morris and "The Thin Blue Line," the loud voice in the head. - Doug: "We have one hour." Jamie: "What?" Doug: "You. Me. Train. Albany." Jamie: "You? Me? Train? Albany?" Doug: [stuffing his briefcase] "Yes. Albany. Yes" Jamie: "Doug, I'm really going to need a verb of some kind!" [a bit later, as Doug helps Jamie with her coat] Jamie: "You. Me. Albany." Doug: "Yes. Must." Jamie: "Paul. Mad. Me. Really screwed." [they exit together] - Sarah: "I'm pretentious filmmaker Sarah." Paul: "Sarah, I'm pretentious filmmaker Paul." Sarah and Paul: [shaking hands] "Nice to meet you!" Sarah: "I'm going to go back inside, smile and be phoney." Paul: [momentarily stopping her] "Ah, let me see." Sarah: [mugging for him] "Hi!! Oh, saw your film! Love it! Love it!! Love it!!!" Paul: "That's very good. Go get 'em!" [returns to his beer] Supporting Cast: Mark and Doug Berkus. Guest Characters: Sarah . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sofia Milos Explorer Channel executive . . . . Sherman Howard Customer asking for a bag . . . . Ric Edinger 4.21 The Finale (Part I) After a week's reflection, and ignoring Ira's emphatic advice not to, Paul decides to tell Jamie about his walk around the block with a film-maker he met at the Silver Sprocket Awards, except Jamie blurts out first the matter that has been on her mind all day. Written by: Victor Levin, Billy Grundfest and Larry Charles Directed by: David Steinberg Expression: "Is this a bad time?" Keys: Unemployed vs between-jobs, high channel number (57), the clash on the 12th, Museum vs Second Avenue Deli (the Abe Vigoda room), Egyptian nourishment, Fran's surprise, Lisa's mannequin, The Temple of Dandur, The Kiss, the stupid step-exerciser, missing pulse, Grand Union with ice, or a hammer, the little bud vase from Provincetown, parade of ringing visitors, a revelation and the silent walk to the kitchen (and back), the other revelation, the scarf and the mints and the chess-set. - [the doorbell rings] Paul: "Who is it?" Mark: "It's Mark!" Paul: [to the world at-large] "Man!" Fran: "... and Fran!" Paul: "Man!" [walks to the door] [meanwhile, back at the dining table] Jonathan: [to Jamie, with a tray of samples] "Hummus?" Jamie: "Not so much!" [and back at the open door] Paul: [looking at the now kissing couple] "All right, all right, all right! What is this?" Mark: [bubbling all over, walking in with Fran] "It's something isn't it? Isn't it something? It's like we are teenagers at the Prom. It's like we're virgins and we'd like you to know -- we wanted you to be the first to know in person because this is not the kind of news that you want to hear over some sort of... [pauses] Is this a bad time?" Supporting Cast: Mark, Hollis, Burt and Debbie. Guest Characters: Jonathan, the caterer . . . . . . Randl Ask Sanford Klarik, Lisa's boyfriend . Billy Morrissette 4.22 The Finale (Parts II & III) [Season Finale] Ira and Lisa try to engineer the Buchman reconciliation, except it proves easier to resolve the scheduling conflict between Burt and Sylvia's 45th anniversary party and Lisa's engagement party. Jamie and Paul try to talk their differences out by themselves. Written by: Paul Reiser, Victor Levin, Billy Grundfest and Larry Charles Directed by: David Steinberg Word: Pedestrian. Keys: Cousinly mime talk, twist on "Twister," paraphrased and proxied telephone-chat, Ira's gusto, Murray's custody, the elevator ride with 2 stops, the "Dateline" job interview, Murray and the toilet, Mai Tai with an after-kick, the hits at the ka-ra-o-ke bar, Hank Williams' "The Cheating Heart" and the kiss, Mayro the typo, Hula-hoops in '54, a beauty parlor estimate, the $10,000 shift, the $60 attention, and at long last -- the talk in the park and the walk about town. And yes, the test and the smile, but not a wink ;-). - Paul: "Well... can anybody think of anything more awkward?" Jamie: "Honey..." Paul: [pause, then to Jamie] "Oh, me?" Jamie: "Yes, you." Paul: [gesturing toward Doug] "Because, I wasn't sure." Jamie: "Listen, I think it's --" [Paul lunges at the control panel and stops the elevator] Paul: [to Jamie] "You know what? I really don't think you should say anything just now!" Doug: [speaking up] "Okay, if I --" Paul: "And I'm really REALLY sure of that for you!" - Ira: "Y'know, in Europe this happens all the time!" Mark: [puffing on his cigar, nodding] "Um-mmm." Paul: [after a pause] "Where?" Ira: "In Europe." Paul: "Where in Europe?" Ira: "Wherever you want, Italy, France! You don't think in France this is happening everyday?" Mark: [weighing in] "Oh, the French don't care!" Ira: [hitting his stride] "This is what happens all the time, every day, every minute, eh, what... [pauses dramatically] Bingo! Just happened.. guy in Marseilles just grabbed another guy's wife right in the croissant!" Supporting Cast: Mark, Doug, Sylvia and Burt. Guest Characters: Joyce, Ira's girlfriend . . . . . Alessandra Petlin Jane Pauley's assistant . . . . . Ann Hamilton Sandra, waitress at Karaoke bar . Frederika Kesten Kissing woman at Karaoke bar . . . Peggy Mannix Sanford Klarik, Lisa's fiance . . Billy Morrissette Zigmund Klarik, his father . . . . Ed Asner Jonathan, the caterer . . . . . . Randl Ask ---------------------------------------------------------------- The Production Team Created by: Paul Reiser and Danny Jacobson Executive Producers: Danny Jacobson, Larry Charles Co-Executive Producer: Marjorie Weitzman Supervising Producers: Billy Grundfest, Brenda Hampton, Victor Levin Producers: Bob Heath, Paul Reiser Co-Producer: Craig Knizek Consulting Producers: Stephen Engel, Pamela Norris Script Supervisor: Victoria Weisbart Production Coordinator: David Craig Costumes: Audrey Darin, Howard Sussman, Amanda Gore Art Direction: Bernard Vyzga Photography: Bobby Byrne Editing: Sheila Amos Sound Mixing: Peter Damski Writers: Larry Charles, Ron Darian, Shana Goldberg-Meehan, Billy Grundfest, Brenda Hampton, Danny Jacobson, Seth Kurland, Victor Levin, Paul Reiser, Liz Sagal, McNally Sagal, Kenny Schwartz and Scott Silveri. Directors: Gordon Hunt, Thomas Schlamme and David Steinberg. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Please send in comments/corrections to: [ramax@ultranet.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------- User Contributions:
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