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Archive-name: tv/mad-about-you/season4
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Last-modified: 97-01-05
Version: 5.1
Copyright: (c) 1994-1997 by Ramaswamy []

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Episode Guide for Season #4 of "Mad About You"
for the Usenet newsgroup


Archive-name: tv/mad-about-you/season4
Posting-frequency: quarterly
Last-modified: 97-01-05
Version: 5.1


This Episode Guide for the TV Comedy show "Mad About You" is,
as a collection of information,
Copyright (c) 1994-1997 by Ramaswamy [].
All Rights Reserved.

This document may be freely distributed in electronic form for
personal use only, provided it is distributed in its entirety
and with all original author and copyright information intact.
Distribution by any other means must be by permission of the
copyright holder. This material is for non-commercial use only
and any sale for profit is expressly forbidden. It may not be
included in any commercial documents, archives or CD-ROMs, nor
uploaded to any BBS or online service without the permission
of the copyright holder. The removal of this copyright notice
is prohibited.


The MAY Episode Guides:

Episode Guide for Season #1
Episode Guide for Season #2
Episode Guide for Season #3
Episode Guide for Season #4
Episode Guide for Season #5


     The  Fourth  Season


Table of Contents

  Cast of Characters
  Supporting Characters
  The Production Team

  4.1  (401)   95-09-24   New Sleep-walking PLUS [Season Opener]
  4.2  (402)   95-10-01   The Parking Space
  4.3  (403)   95-10-29   The Good, the Bad and the Not-So-Appealing
  4.4  (404)   95-11-05   I Don't See It
  4.5  (405)   95-11-12   Yoko Said
  4.6  (406)   95-11-19   An Angel For Murray
  4.7  (407)   95-11-26   The Couple
  4.8  (408)   95-12-17   New Year's Eve
  4.9  (409)   96-01-07   Ovulation Day
  4.10 (410)   96-01-14   Get Back
  4.11 (411)   96-02-04   Dream Weaver
  4.12 (413)   96-02-18   Hot and Cold
  4.13 (414)   96-02-25   Fertility
  4.14 (412)   96-03-10   Everybody Hates Me
  4.15 (415)   96-03-17   Do Me A Favor
  4.16 (416)   96-03-24   The Glue People
  4.17 (417)   96-03-31   The Sample
  4.18 (418)   96-04-14   The Procedure
  4.19 (419)   96-04-21   The Weed
  4.20 (420)   96-04-28   The Award
  4.21 (421)   96-05-05   The Finale (Part I)
  4.22 (422/3) 96-05-19   The Finale (Parts II & III) [Season Finale]


Telecasts in Syndication:

     As of September 1996, episodes from this season are being
     aired in syndication in North America, with approximately
     1 minute of content snipped from the original telecasts
     in 1995-96. Check your local TV listings for the station,
     days and times of telecast.


Cast of Characters

  Paul Buchman . . . . . . . . . . . .  Paul Reiser
  Jamie Buchman  . . . . . . . . . . .  Helen Hunt
  Lisa Stemple . . . . . . . . . . . .  Anne Ramsay
  Fran Devanow . . . . . . . . . . . .  Leila Kenzle
  Ira Buchman  . . . . . . . . . . . .  John Pankow
  Murray . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Maui

Supporting Characters

  Mark Devanow, Fran's ex-husband  . .  Richard Kind
  Burt Buchman, Paul's father  . . . .  Louis Zorich
  Sylvia Buchman, Paul's mother  . . .  Cynthia Harris
  Debbie, Paul's sister  . . . . . . .  Robin Bartlett

  Maggie Conway, neighbour in 11-C . .  Judy Geeson
  Hal Conway, Maggie's husband . . . .  Jim Piddock
  Allison Rourke, Paul's boss  . . . .  Gates McFadden
  Sid Novak, Paul's editor . . . . . .  George O. Petrie
  Hollis Pavelle, Paul's co-worker . .  David Strickland
  Lance Brockwell, Jamie's boss  . . .  Alan Ruck
  Doug Berkus, Brockwell's deputy  . .  Bradley White
  Nat, Murray's walker . . . . . . . .  Hank Azaria


4.1       New Sleep-walking PLUS [Season Opener]

  Jamie is enthralled by it, Paul doesn't remember it, Murray didn't
  see it, and Ira laughs at it -- another night and the day after
  in the Buchmans' lives. Meanwhile Paul finds employment at the
  Explorer Channel.

  Written by:  Paul Reiser
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       Jamie warbling about the Copacabana.
  Tag:         Murray displaying his knowledge of the ABCs.
  Words:       Primal, violation
  Keys:  Belt removal with a bite, khakis vs chinos, Chino-boy at the
         Explorer Channel, being groomed at Klarik's, breaking the
         clock, saving the sales tax, cab-driver joke, begging
         without words, Egyptian beer, never late (like a clock),
         the sideburn distraction, the handshake and the situation
         The debut of Allison Rourke.

  - Paul:  [moving from kitchen to livingroom to bedroom]
           "Okay, so, anyway, so I tell her this is not the kind
           of thing I was hoping to do right now. She starts
           telling me about state-of-the-art editing facilities,
           and ba-ba-ba-bah, then she starts talking about the
           money, which is like, no-kidding-around, real money.
           Plus they've got medical plans and there's like a
           pension plan, then there's a plan with a "K" where
           they put money away for you -- you've got to explain
           this one to me! So I mean, I don't want to work for
           anybody -- but I was thinking it's not really selling
           out because it's what I do and it's... I don't know..."
    Jamie: [tagging along, motioning toward the bathroom]
           "Go do what you have to do."
    Paul:  [moving on to the bathroom]
           "Oh ya, and I was thinking the people are really nice but,
           I thought, do I really want to have meetings with guys
           named Chuck and... [pause, returning from the bathroom
           with the object of his enquiry]  Hey! What is this?"

  Guest Characters:
  Allison Rourke  .  . . . . . . . .  Gates McFadden
  Cassandra, at Klarik's . . . . . .  Bok Yun Chun
  Cab-drivers' Union man . . . . . .  Daniel Chodos
  "We don't stare" woman . . . . . .  Paunita Nichols
  "What next?" grocer  . . . . . . .  Jeremiah Morris

4.2       The Parking Space

  After a 4-year wait the Buchmans finally have dibs on a parking
  space in a nearby garage, but still no car, and they soon manage
  to reverse the situation.

  Written by:  Billy Grundfest
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       Murray being told to put his clothes on.
  Tag:         Murray moving the Buchmans' car around.
  Keys:  Soap or shampoo (with mink placenta), or maybe
         dish-washing liquid, smelling like Hawaiian Punch,
         space #123 in condo garage, kicking the can, grabbing
         the cart, potential capital gain, loofah rub, Fran and
         Ira using each other, the I-have-a-Dream speech, the
         huge leap for Buchman-kind, the credit report, going
         at it whole-assed, the lighter from the Canyon.

  - Paul:  "How could you let this happen?"
    Jamie: "Excuse me?"
    Paul:  "This is all your fault!"
    Jamie: "On what planet?"
    Paul:  "You... you gave entirely too much weight to my
           argument.  Do you realize, we have a parking space,
           we don't have a CAR!"
    Jamie: "Don't tell ME!  *I* told YOU!"
    Paul:  "You... your job is to stop me from doing something 
           idiotic. Idiotic, I can do that by myself!"

  Supporting Cast:  Mark.
  Guest Characters:
  Leo  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Mark Schiff
  Bank of Manhattan loan officer . .  Wayne Wilderson

4.3        The Good, the Bad and the Not-So-Appealing

  Inspired by a Martha Stewart idea, Sylvia organizes a high-noonish
  tag-what-you-want lunch party for her family, complete with a
  shoot-out in the kitchen with Jamie, except it is not much of
  a contest.

  Written by:  Victor Levin
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       Blissful couch-potatoes hitting a hair snag.
  Tag:         Sylvia mending fences with Murray.
  Words:       Rustic, eclectic.
  Expressions: Zip over, swing over, jump over or scoot;
               go over, pass on, or die.
  Keys:  Grocery list vs perusal, hearts of palm, never veal,
         Farberware dish, low sodium diet (for two), singing
         salmon or yodeling sharks, telling the family (and Sylvia),
         no fights or friction, Sharon on the phone, knowing the ring,
         couch-dating by slip-covers, Hyatt shampoo, the money clip,
         Paulie's shoes and Jamie... Buchman.

  - Jamie: "That's it.  I give up!"
    Paul:  "All right... all right..."
    Jamie: "Cultivate a relationship!  What was I thinking?"
    Paul:  "Sweetie..."
    Jamie: "I'll tell you the truth -- if she weren't your mother..."
    Paul:  "Then, then what?"
    Jamie: "Then... something... very... very bad."

  Supporting Cast:  Sylvia, Burt and Debbie.

4.4        I Don't See It

  At first Paul has a only vague notion he knows who Jamie's
  interview at City Hall is with, but he figures it out and
  complicates matters for Jamie and Fran just as they are
  about to land an important account.

  Written by:  Brenda Hampton
  Directed by: Gordon Hunt
  Tease:       Jamie twisting an answer out of Paul.
  Tag:         Paul trying to out-do Jamie's trick, but hardly.
  Words:       Haberdasher, high-falutin'
  Expression:  "I'm the mommy!"
  Keys:  Expanding the store, the bra trick, book on public
         restrooms, publicity for the mayor (forget the haircut),
         3 words: movie, permit, coyotes, the incompetent weasel,
         or pencil-pushing pin-head, zim-boom-crash, kippers and
         chocolates in Nova Scotia (or on the boat), the exact
         same example (in stereo), 3AM feedings.
         The debut of Lance Brockwell.

  - Jamie: "Wish me luck!"
    Paul:  "I wish you whatever is best."
    Jamie: "What does that mean?"
    Paul:  "Well, if this job is meant to be, then I wish it
           on you; if it is not, then I don't."
    Jamie: "Are you wishing me luck or not?"
    Paul:  "I will say to you there is nothing you can say or
           do that will make Lance Brockwell not hire you."
    Jamie: "Thank you!" [she kisses him and turns to leave]
    Paul:  "Ask him if he knows who I think he is!"

  Supporting Cast:  Sid.
  Guest Characters:
  Lance Brockwell . . . . . . . . . .  Alan Ruck
  Brockwell's assistant . . . . . . .  Wendle Josepher
  Bernard, the "Titanic" guy  . . . .  Eric Christmas

4.5        Yoko Said

  Yoko Ono is in town for some film happenings and Paul tries to do
  something different for the Explorer Channel with her help, except
  it is not his idea and he can't pull it off, not even after fasting
  for five days.

  Written by:  Billy Grundfest and Paul Reiser
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       Paul home-shopping for Three Stooges plates. ("Nnooh!")
  Tag:         Paul and Jamie and Murray and Yoko in bed, reading,
                 to the tunes of "All We Are Saying..."
  Expression:  "Wind-breaking project"
  Keys:  On falcons in the Chrysler building, or crop fungus,
         going 0 for 9, a), b) and c), carbon-based life-forms,
         shoeless at Yoko's, April 19th (not Patriot's Day), the
         5-day fast, bumping Jacques Cousteau, Jamie's dance steps,
         Armenian sandwiches, a fountain of ideas.
         The debut of Hollis Pavelle.

  - Ira:  "You want to know what art is?"
    Paul: "Why don't you tell me!"
    Ira:  "Art is the representation of that which the mind
          can imagine but only the heart knows to be true."
    Paul: "Where did you get that? Empire Szechuan?"

  Supporting Cast:  Allison.
  Guest Characters:
  As herself  . . . . . . . . . . .  Yoko Ono
  Sycophant #1 (Hollis Pavelle) . .  David Strickland
  Sycophant #2  . . . . . . . . . .  Monica Allison

4.6        An Angel For Murray

  With Murray around the Buchmans are no dinks, so when Lisa demurs
  they are obliged to hire a professional to walk Murray. And Murray
  seems to prefer the newcomer to Paul.

  Written by:  Seth Kurland
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       The Buchman version of the national anthem,
                 sitting down.
  Tag:         Only an empty E.R. for Paul.
  Words:       Station, megalopolis, relieving.
  Keys:  ER shoot (with crew wearing clogs), Devanow-Buchman
         or the other way around, or maybe Slater-Damski,
         drama, trauma and frauma, six hours in Winnipeg,
         wailing all day, sensitive/defective pads, the
         meatloaf sound, tiny scissors and a toothbrush,
         Jerry Vale's lullaby, office furnishings on the
         free, the first rollover.
         The debut of Nat.

  - Nat:  "... I mean, you ask anybody that knows me well and
          they'll tell you voluntarily that Nat, Nat is a lover of
          all creatures, great and small.  Nat would not harm a gnat,
          is a joke I enjoy making."
    Paul: "So... so the answer is yes?"

  Nat's double:

      Furry Murray, F. Murray Abraham.

  Supporting Cast:  Hollis and Maggie.
  Guest Characters:
  Nat, the dog-walker . . . . . . .  Hank Azaria
  The Nurse . . . . . . . . . . . .  Joyce Guy
  The furniture mover . . . . . . .  Bob Amaral
  Mr. Fefvil, the neighbor  . . . .  Bill Saluga
  Neighbor at the mailboxes . . . .  David Steinberg

4.7        The Couple

  Three lies, two shows and a realization as Paul and Jamie
  figure out "why it will never happen" to them, or so one is
  led to believe when their new friends turn out to be not
  quite what they pretend to be.

  Written by:  Kenny Schwartz
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       Watching the late-night TV fare, asleep.
  Words:       Flummoxed, pillage, plunder.
  Keys:  Taking Murray to doggy-park, early-50's Allison,
         "Hello Dolly" and R.E.M. (and maybe Sting), 400-lb Artie,
         on first-name-only basis, not the Jetsons or Stadlers,
         vomiting in sync, the scarlet letter joke, rhythm vs
         syncopation, the key to a good lie -- commitment,
         Boutros Boutros-Ghali Buchman, the protection lie,
         messenger issue, all the excuses, then the other part.

  - Paul: "Listen..."
    Ira:  "So that's what you came up with, huh? Fat Artie
          went to lunch? That's the best you could do?"
    Paul: "I know, I know, but can I explain?  Because
          there is an explanation..."
    Ira:  "And y'know what's worse?  I believed you!
          I should have known better.  Fat Artie and I go back 
          eight years!  This guy lives in that chair. Fat Artie 
          doesn't go to lunch; lunch comes to Fat Artie!"

  Supporting Cast:  Allison.
  Guest Characters:
  Doug . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Brian McNamara
  Didi . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Lisa Waltz
  Mischa's owner . . . . . . . . . .  Fred Stoller
  Spanky's owner . . . . . . . . . .  Gilbert Gottfried

4.8        New Year's Eve

  Paul and Jamie are obliged to spend New Year's Eve apart for the
  first time, but strange happenings at Times Square have a will,
  and a way, all their own.

  Written by:  Scott Silveri and Shana Goldberg-Meehan
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tag:         Dick Clark planning the next New Year's Eve.
  Words:       Coifed, garbed, apocalypse.
  Keys:  Paul's wallet -- canvas with velcro or calf-skin
         (but not eel), mid-night, champagne and Tom Brokaw,
         glass of wine, 2 teamsters and thou, not a penny --
         maybe a goat, Westside Free Clinic, Queen Anne style
         chairs at Gracie Mansion, Canadian money, '79 condom,
         first phone number (with French 7s), stopping a clock
         (maybe), the 1-second holiday, the 2-minute note, 
         Kenny without G, Bill and Ernie, Tanglewood and Boca,
         breathe, breathe, push, pull.

  - Nat:   "Hey, there!"
    Jamie: "Hey, Nat."
    Nat:   [taking in Jamie's dress] "Wow, wow! Are you
           coifed and garbed in an attractive fashion!"
    Jamie: "Thank you very much!"
    Paul:  "How're you doing there, Nat?"
    Nat:   "Hey there, sir!  No disrespect, Mr. Buchman, but
          holy cats! She's going to stop traffic in that outfit!"
    Jamie and Paul: [together] "Traffic... is what you stop."
    Nat:   [greeting Murray] "There he is! Hey there, sir!"
    Jamie: "So Nat, what do you have planned for tonight?"
    Nat:   "Well Mrs. Buchman, and once again -- wow!
           Ah, I choose to treat this day as I would any other day.
           Say a Wednesday, or a Monday..."
    Paul:  "Or a Tuesday..."
    Nat:   "Sure, Tuesday, sure.  I just never place much
           emphasis on New Year's Eve."

  Nat's triple:

      Murray Tyler Moore, Virgin Murray, Murray the K.

  Bill and Ernest's chain of names:

    Robert Clary --> 
               Yaphet Kotto -->
                          Omar Bradley -->

  Supporting Cast:  Mark, Nat and Lance.
  Guest Characters:
  Brenda, at Klarik's  . . . . . . .  Kathy Griffin
  Randall, Lisa's friend . . . . . .  Willie Garson
  Lily, Ira's friend . . . . . . . .  Tracy Kolis
  Bill and Ernest  . . . . . . . . .  John Capodice and
                                        John F. O'Donohue
  Mrs Velasquez, Joachim's mother  .  Bridget Sienna
  Mark's grateful patient  . . . . .  Linda Porter
  Sanitation Dept. man . . . . . . .  Tino Insana
  Telephone pageboy  . . . . . . . .  Randl Ask

4.9        Ovulation Day

  Paul and Jamie try to time a love-in-the-afternoon rendezvous
  back at their apartment, but his family shows up at the most
  inopportune time, with Debbie springing a big surprise.

  Written by:  Victor Levin and Danny Jacobson
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       Jamie guessing the price of Paul's shirt.
  Tag:         Maggie belting out "Rule Britannia" on the washer.
  Words:       Wow or wowie, Waxed and waned.
  Keys:  Jamie's medieval quality, unnecessary orgasms,
         car-door slamming vs mother calling vs smell in the
         sink, the egg beeper (beeping wolf), telephone sex,
         Vermont with Joan, a threesome without a guy, playing
         with boot at Monopoly, $1000 bribe, Run silent, Run deep,
         Murray entertaining himself, the laundry room door-knob,
         washing-machine thrills.

  - Debbie: "You know, Joan is a doctor."
    Sylvia: "That's supposed to make me feel better?"
    Debbie: "I don't know Ma..." [leaving the apartment]
    Sylvia: [pause, calling after her] "What kind of doctor?"

  Supporting Cast: Burt, Sylvia, Debbie, Sid and Maggie.
  Guest Characters:
  Interested woman . . . . . . . . .  Billye Ree Wallace
  2-note tuba playing boy  . . . . .  Kellen Hatahway

4.10        Get Back

  Jamie throws out her back during adventurous sex on the floor,
  so Paul has to help out with one of her duties at City Hall
  while also trying to get his father to see an optometrist.

  Story by:    Seth Kurland and Ron Darian
  Teleplay by: Kenny Schwartz and Shana Goldberg-Meehan
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       A cold splash for Paul is not very satisfying to Jamie.
  Tag:         The WNBC Special Report is not satisfying either.
  Words:       Shan't, stick-to-it-tiveness, trepidation.
  Keys:  The 3 Tischs, the dissident, the return of the mouse,
         the cheesecake, A to Z of ailments, the first letter is
         always 'E', the unbelievable strawberries, Jamie doing
         cal-cal-calesthenics, Nat's first language and Paul's last,
         translation on the fly, especially of 'ook mok.'

  - Maggie: [in the corridor outside] "Young man!"
    Nat:    [closing the door to 11-D behind him]
          "Yes. Hey, Ma'am! How're you doing?"
    Maggie: "Fine... there's a package in there for me,
            a cheesecake from England. Would you mind going
            in there and getting it for me?"
    Nat:    [hesitant] "Oh boy... ma'am, I'm real sorry, but
            I consider that to be just outside the parameters
            of what I understand to be my dooties, at least,
            as I understand 'em at the present time."
    Maggie: "But you have the key!"
    Nat:    "Yes, I do have this key, but I consider it to be
            a sacred trust, the Buchmans were kind enough to
            bestow this upon me, and to violate that just for
            the purpose of retrieving a dessert item, hmm...
            Boy!  I don't know..."
    Maggie: [considers him at length]
            "Is English your first language?"
    Nat:    "Yes ma'am, my first, and God willing, my last."

  Nat's doubles:

      Jan Murray, Murray Slaughter.
      Murray Antoinette, Murray Osmond.
      Bill Murray, Murray-Lu Henner.

  Supporting Cast:  Mark, Burt, Sylvia, Maggie and Nat.
  Guest Characters:
  Dr. Mandel's receptionist  . . . .  Nancy Fish
  Professor Gittelson  . . . . . . .  Leland Orser
  Professor Ng Lieu Cho  . . . . . .  Jim Lau
  Homeless at NYU  . . . . . . . . .  Otto Coelho
  Guiseppe, the Baker  . . . . . . .  Peirrino Mascarino
  Sophia, his daughter . . . . . . .  Fabiana Udenio
  Delivery man . . . . . . . . . . .  Armando Molina

4.11        Dream Weaver

  A night of cascading dreams, Paul's and Jamie's, featuring
  ostriches and ducks and a party, with lots of interpretation
  and a poem (and a half) by Henry Gibson.

  Written by:  Billy Grundfest
  Directed by: Thomas Schlamme
  Tease:       Paul dealing with a stuck kitchen drawer.
  Tag:         The Laugh-In mob exiting, kleptomaniacs and all.
  Expression:  "In your dreams, baby! In your dreams!"
  Keys:  Kwanzaa for kicks, hawk for salad, Ostrich de l'Orange,
         unwinding au naturale in Fiji, the "Oh" dreams, the ginkgo
         nut (not!), February 12th (oh boy!), Laugh-In books and
         the Frug, time or Thyme, horse shoes and dog pants, 
         Mylanta at 3AM, Fear - the new fragrance.

  - Jamie: "Are you angry with me about something?"
    Paul:  "I don't know, dopey... it's your dreams!
           You tell me... am I angry with you about something?"
    Jamie: "Yes!"
    Paul:  "Okay... why?"
    Jamie: [pause] "I don't know."

  Supporting Cast:  Allison, Sid, Nat and Maggie.
  Guest Characters:
  The waiter . . . . . . . . . . . .  Frank Birney
  As himself.  . . . . . . . . . . .  Henry Gibson
  As himself.  . . . . . . . . . . .  Arte Johnson
  As himself.  . . . . . . . . . . .  Gary Owens
  As herself.  . . . . . . . . . . .  JoAnne Worley

4.12        Hot and Cold

  Ira resumes gambling, wins a lot, hands out generous presents and
  then takes a $4000 bath -- no problems for him, but not so much
  for the Buchmans.

  Written by:  Kenny Schwartz and Danny Jacobson
  Directed by: Thomas Schlamme
  Tease:       Jamie asking Paul about a tie she gave Burt.
  Tag:         The newly annointed ex-cons exiting the precinct.
  Word:        Pissy.
  Keys:  Cold hot oatmeal with cinnamon, or new old cheese,
         Alaska and Tahiti in 11-D, Murray at the Equator,
         the new super and doorman, eat food and burn calories
         (in stereo), underground casino upstairs, egg-rolls
         free for $200, unclogged pores, the retailing savant,
         the fish story, the one call from the cell.

  - Mark:  [to Paul] "You know what I find?
           You don't laugh at other people's jokes!"
  - Paul:  "Where is... where's your check-book?"
    Jamie: "If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
           If you teach him how to fish, he eats for a lifetime!"
    Paul:  "You know... don't you know there's a side of you
           that no one likes?"

  Supporting Cast:  Mark.
  Guest Characters:
  Bobby, the bouncer . . . . . . . .  Robert Costanzo
  Johnny, the casino man . . . . . .  Chick Vennera
  "If I were a Rich Man" patron  . .  Andrew Gold
  The dealer . . . . . . . . . . . .  Michael Yama

4.13        Fertility

  Paul and Jamie embark on an organic fertility enhancement program
  with Mark's help, plus a day-off at a fancy local hotel at Fran's

  Story by:    Liz Sagal and McNally Sagal
  Teleplay by: Larry Charles
  Directed by: Gordon Hunt
  Tease:       Paul imitating Murray at the fridge.
  Tag:         The hotel clerk guessing Murray's pedigree.
  Expression:  "Nobody is going to say WHAT?"
  Keys:  Pyjama bottoms to work (how true!), periods or 
         exclamation points, the humiliating chair, yams vs
         sweet potatoes, the Fur people of Djibouti (near the
         Sahara? not!), quai or ki, the 50% decline in 75 years,
         Murray with nose-guard, Buckman vs Boochmaan, popcorn
         tossing, the last Buchmans and the last Pandas.

  - Paul: "Let me ask you something..."
    Ira:  "What?"
    Paul: "Does it bother you to know that if we don't procreate
          soon, that it means it is the end of the Buchman dynasty!"
    Ira:  "Dynasty?"
    Paul: "Yeah..."
    Ira:  "The Mings had a dynasty. The Buchmans have got a
          puppy and a piece of fish in the freezer."
    Paul: "You and I are it. If we don't produce an heir,
          it is all over."
    Ira:  "If you and me are it, let me tell you,
          it deserves to be all over."
    [and there is more...]

  Supporting Cast:  Mark and Hollis.
  Guest Characters:
  Bobby, the lighting man  . . . . .  Tyrees Allen
  The Slackton Hotel clerk . . . . .  Patrick Bristow

4.14       Everybody Hates Me

  Jamie tries a new look with interesting consequences, while
  Ira feels betrayed at the love-game, let down by his quality
  wing-man Paul who digs himself a big hole discussing beauty. 

  Written by:  Victor Levin
  Directed by: Thomas Schlamme
  Tease:       On throwing out an asparagus tea-pot.
  Tag:         On the collapse of Mario Lanza, still serenading.
  Words:       Splinky, Tesoro.
  Keys:  Sei canoli, Aphrodite and Helen of Troy, al..though
         from Paul, faux naturale hair, stress lines, Paul lines,
         Debbie the accountant, near-monologue on dramatic beauty
         vs sophisticated one, 6 hours 42 minutes (but intimate),
         2 weeks 4 days 2 hours (but finito), extremely not broke,
         the 7-year olds brawl, Gurkha wisdom, sfogliatelli or
         biscotti, or dough-nuts.

  - [All that preceded this, you've to see for yourself!]
    Debbie: [after a pause] "So Ira met a pretty girl?"
    Paul:   "That's all I'm saying..."
  - Mark:   "I don't hate you anymore. Jamie doesn't hate you --
            Jamie is just... she's upset."
    Paul:   "Why? Why would she be upset with.. that I like her hair?"
    Mark:   [reflecting] "You know... when I was in Nepal, I am
            chatting with this sherpa about the question of why,
            which in his language is pronounced "nchtem," and he
            said, he said something very interesting -- he said
            that asking the question why is like pulling one leg
            off a centipede -- it gets you nowhere!"
    Paul:   "Why?"
    Mark:   "Because... for every question why the answer is
            because, and for every because there's another why!"
    Paul:   "Yeah, but I've to understand.. why would she be
            so angry at me?"
    Mark:   "Because... she's afraid that after she has the baby
            [both Paul and Mark knock-wood on Riff's table], she's,
            she's afraid that she won't be attractive or sexy."
    Paul:   "But that's so stupid! Why? Why, why?"
    Mark:   "Ah-ah-ah.. you see?  The sherpa was right.
            He was a wise man. A sage. He was a sage."

  Supporting Cast:  Debbie, Mark and Nat.
  Guest Characters:
  Guiseppe, the Baker  . . . . . . .  Peirrino Mascarino
  Sophia, his daughter . . . . . . .  Fabiana Udenio

4.15        Do Me A Favor

  The saga of a daisy-chain of favors, triggered by the young
  daughter of Ira's girlfriend wanting an autographed picture
  of Hizzoner, and complicated by Paul and his fancy new camera.

  Written by:  Ron Darian
  Directed by: Gordon Hunt
  Tease:       Paul trying to cure Jamie's hiccups.
  Tag:         The Mayoral signing and a daisy-chain of IOUs.
  Words:       Futzing, chortle.
  Keys:   The "Fun City" committee, 2-button flippant blouse,
          the unsafe Big Apple, steak and eggs for breakfast,
          corn-flakes for dinner, stuffing the owl-shot, inside
          a cab-driver's ear, $5/shot, geero or gyro, Chinese or
          sandwiches, a little present from Paul, one phone-call,
          blackmail vs stupidity.
          The debut of Doug Berkus.

  - Jamie: "If I can chair that committee, I can have influence
           over policy and if I have influence over policy,
           it will affect legislation!"
    Paul:  "And then what?"
    Jamie: [pause] "I don't know."
    Paul:  "Everything is so political..."
    Jamie: "It's City Hall!"
    Paul:  "I know, but it's so.. it's so political!"

  Supporting Cast:  Lance Brockwell.
  Guest Characters:
  Iris . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Kathleen Wilhoite
  Sophie, her daughter . . . . . . .  Tiffany Taubman
  Doug Berkus, Brockwell's deputy  .  Bradley White
  Arthur, Mayor's ex-campaign-mgr  .  Richard Portnow
  The bar-fly  . . . . . . . . . . .  John C. McDonnel

4.16        The Glue People

  The mix of Jamie and Paul, Fran and Mark, and Iris and Ira,
  with call-waiting, split screens, a campaign commercial,
  and dinner for six featuring a reversal of fortunes.

  Written by:  Victor Levin
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       Guessing what their dermatologist is doing, at 10:30PM.
  Tag:         Paul giving directions on the phone, in the new NYC.
  Words:       Officious, mollify, indefatigable.
  Keys:   Cereal with a 'K', understanding crimes of passion,
          the 5c increase in subway fare, renaming the streets,
          kitchen to bedroom phone call, live-TV pantomime, the
          announcement, Nazi argument, a-political propagandist,
          the crushing mistake, Leni Riefenstahl, the field-trip
          to Hayden Planetarium (but not to The Met), the bread
          with the topping (what is it called?), Edmund Muskie
          (poor man), marital pressure (from whom?).

  - Jamie: "Wait! Before you say no, just hear me out!"
    Paul:  "Okay."
    Jamie: [pause, totally at a loss] "PLEASE!"
    Paul:  "Sweetie.. it's politics. I'm not-- I'm like--
           I'm against-- I'm not-- I'm anti-- I'm non--"
    Jamie: [back in control] "You're a-political."
    Paul:  "Yes, I am a-political, I'm Switzerland.
           You know what I mean? I don't get involved."
    Jamie: "Switzerland would get involved under some circumstances!"
    Paul:  "Like what?"
    Jamie: "Like if its wife asked it to!"

  Supporting Cast:  Mark, Sid, Doug Berkus and Lance Brockwell.
  Guest Characters:
  Iris . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Kathleen Wilhoite
  Maitre d'  . . . . . . . . . . . .  James Lesure

4.17        The Sample

  The next step in the Buchman Baby saga is trying to find out
  if Paul is the reason Jamie is unable to conceive, and a trip to
  the hospital is in the cards. But a cooler, the theft of their car,
  a dramatic chase and the NYPD Bomb Squad get in on the action.

  Written by:  Victor Levin
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       Jamie dealing with Paul's annoying noises.
  Tag:         The nurse helping a patient locate his container.
  Words:       Doable, dilly-dally.
  Keys:   The dramatic cooler (with a billion Buch-men, but no soda),
          the return of the slow elevator, or the lift, picnic in
          40-deg weather, Sidney Lumet and Al Pacino, percolating
          or making decaf, Bobby Casuto's fastball, the depository,
          Slap And Tickle, the chase and the wreck, Lisa and Sanford
          Klarik (from Harvard, Yale and then Brown), Jamie and the
          Betty-Boop song.

  - Paul: "You think that actually could have done some damage?"
    Ira:  [smirks] "Well, Paulie, it couldn't have helped."
    Paul: "Do me a favor -- don't mention this to Jamie."
    Ira:  "Why?"
    Paul: "Because she'll get mad."
    Ira:  "Why? That you took a hard one in the grapes?"
    Paul: "Believe me -- if we can't have a kid because
          I was crowding the plate..."
    Ira:  "Paulie, but you were protecting the strike zone!"
    Paul: "Uh, well, just don't tell her!"

  Supporting Cast:  Mark, Maggie and Hal Conway.
  Guest Characters:
  Russ Yanowicz, the male nurse  . .  Brad Garrett
  The Truck driver . . . . . . . . .  Vic Polizos
  Man with coffee (and tea) order  .  Chris Bonno
  Musician patient . . . . . . . . .  Wesley Thompson

4.18        The Procedure

  Jamie undergoes a minor diagnostic procedure and is quite
  smitten by her doctor.  Meanwhile Ira rescues Paul's job
  at the Explorer Channel.

  Written by:  Brenda Hampton and Larry Charles
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       Paul getting a call from Andy Griffith (with an -ith).
  Tag:         Hollis tracking down the Unibal Talent agency.
  Word:        Ossified.
  Keys:   The Louisa May Alcott look, the full-figured wife,
          corporate policy, new agent, Uniball with one 'L' (it's
          Portuguese), big fish in tiny little pond, the big ruse,
          a little base, maybe eye-liner, ugly surgeon vs handsome
          podiatrist, Mark's ab-crunches, and the firm tone, Yesh
          and yesh, the immaculate page, Chicago Hope without Mandy
          Patinkin, unmasking Dr. Griffin, and the final yay.

  - Jamie: [in a black slip] "Okay, how is this?"
    Lisa:  "Honey... black for surgery? I don't think that's
           the statement you want to make."
    Fran:  "It's surgery, not a date!"
    Lisa:  "It's a date."
    Fran:  "She's lying there unconscious!"
    Lisa:  "What! You've never been on a date like that before?"
  - Ira:   [on the phone] "Vaya con dios."
    Paul:  [hanging up] "Yeah... I'm good and screwed."

  Supporting Cast:  Mark and Hollis Pavelle.
  Guest Characters:
  Doctor Griffin . . . . . . . . . .  Julian Stone
  Doctor Green, anesthesiologist . .  Tohoru Masamune
  Nurse, at the hospital . . . . . .  Judyann Elder
  Nurse, in the operating room . . .  Karen Maruyama
  Customer at Klarik's . . . . . . .  Joseph M. Costa
  Explorer Channel board member  . .  Ted Sorel

4.19        The Weed

  Jamie tries to plan for a weekend getaway in Pennsylvania-Dutch
  country, but Paul is pre-occupied with his current documentary
  project about a weed to be interested.

  Written by:  Billy Grundfest and Larry Charles
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       Jamie trying her hand at a card trick.
  Tag:         Paul taking in the Ab-Flexor infomercial.
  Word:        Waft.
  Keys:   An address in Gettysburg, Quaker Oats and furniture
          (or maybe Shaker), off to work in shorts, continuity
          check, 2-hour lunch with Mark, then the weekend, 2AM
          calesthenics, 4AM pie, a weed's POV, the 47th take,
          the changed aisle #9, no belly-aching, street-savvy
          weed with a nemesis (a cat or a crazed gardener),
          buttoned-down brown-noser vs pain-in-the-ass,
          getaway package in Mass., deep deep denial.

  - Jamie: "I didn't want you to work for the Explorer Channel!
             I wanted you to work for the Explorer Channel if
             you wanted to work for the Explorer Channel."
    Paul:  "And if I didn't want to work for the Explorer Channel?"
    Jamie: "Then I didn't want you to work for the Explorer Channel!"
    Paul:  "Well, I don't remember that part of the conversation."
    Jamie: "It's true!"
    Paul:  "How do you remember that?"
    Jamie: "I eat right!"
  - Jamie: [pointing to the TV] "Look, a women's prison movie.
             Very sexy."
    Paul:  "Who? ... the woman at the left, in the robe.. her name
           is Mimsy. She's innocent, she's been framed. There's a
           big climactic showdown in the shower. A whole lot of
           blood, and a whole lot of tears. But in the end,
           justice will prevail."
    Jamie: "So you've seen this before?"
    Paul:  "Part of it."

  Shopping doubles:

      Sweatsocks and rifles, tetherballs and blowguns,
      wind-breakers and hatchets.

  Supporting Cast:  Sid, Hollis Pavelle and Doug Berkus.
  Guest Characters:
  Bobby, the lighting man  . . . . .  Tyrees Allen
  Explorer Channel executive . . . .  Sherman Howard
  Customer at Buchman's Sporting . .  Amzie Strickland
  Apartment dweller  . . . . . . . .  Harry Murphy

4.20        The Award

  Nominated once again for the Silver Sprocket, a reluctant Paul is
  coaxed into a tuxedo by Ira and expects to attend the ceremony with
  Jamie at his side to counter the weasels from the Explorer Channel.
  Of course things don't quite work out that way.

  Written by:  Ron Darian, Seth Kurland and Larry Charles
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Tease:       Jamie locating Paul's back-itch, higher and higher.
  Word:        Panache.
  Expression:  "And the early bird catches the cliche."
  Keys:   The Three Stooges, the tossed sandwich, mail for Murray,
          the finger with grace and equanimity, yelling at Brockwell's
          voice-mail, Radisson in Albany, with Rin Tin Tin to Syracuse,
          The Gin Game at Croton on the Hudson, beer bubbly swap, the
          date (big guy, tuxedo), 1000 o' clock, a tall glass of water,
          Nature films (Non-mammalian), a weed and a dream - Wizard of
          Oz speech, splitting a walk, Errol Morris and "The Thin Blue
          Line," the loud voice in the head.

  - Doug:  "We have one hour."
    Jamie: "What?"
    Doug:  "You. Me. Train. Albany."
    Jamie: "You? Me? Train? Albany?"
    Doug:  [stuffing his briefcase] "Yes. Albany. Yes"
    Jamie: "Doug, I'm really going to need a verb of some kind!"
           [a bit later, as Doug helps Jamie with her coat]
    Jamie: "You. Me. Albany."
    Doug:  "Yes. Must."
    Jamie: "Paul. Mad. Me. Really screwed." [they exit together]
  - Sarah: "I'm pretentious filmmaker Sarah."
    Paul:  "Sarah, I'm pretentious filmmaker Paul."
    Sarah and Paul: [shaking hands] "Nice to meet you!"
    Sarah: "I'm going to go back inside, smile and be phoney."
    Paul:  [momentarily stopping her] "Ah, let me see."
    Sarah: [mugging for him] "Hi!! Oh, saw your film! Love it!
           Love it!! Love it!!!"
    Paul:  "That's very good. Go get 'em!" [returns to his beer]

  Supporting Cast:  Mark and Doug Berkus.
  Guest Characters:
  Sarah  . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  Sofia Milos
  Explorer Channel executive . . . .  Sherman Howard
  Customer asking for a bag  . . . .  Ric Edinger

4.21        The Finale (Part I)

  After a week's reflection, and ignoring Ira's emphatic advice not to,
  Paul decides to tell Jamie about his walk around the block with a
  film-maker he met at the Silver Sprocket Awards, except Jamie blurts
  out first the matter that has been on her mind all day.

  Written by:  Victor Levin, Billy Grundfest and Larry Charles
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Expression:  "Is this a bad time?"
  Keys:   Unemployed vs between-jobs, high channel number (57),
          the clash on the 12th, Museum vs Second Avenue Deli (the
          Abe Vigoda room), Egyptian nourishment, Fran's surprise,
          Lisa's mannequin, The Temple of Dandur, The Kiss, the
          stupid step-exerciser, missing pulse, Grand Union with ice,
          or a hammer, the little bud vase from Provincetown, parade
          of ringing visitors, a revelation and the silent walk to
          the kitchen (and back), the other revelation, the scarf
          and the mints and the chess-set.

  - [the doorbell rings]
    Paul:  "Who is it?"
    Mark:  "It's Mark!"
    Paul:  [to the world at-large] "Man!"
    Fran:  "... and Fran!"
    Paul:  "Man!" [walks to the door]
    [meanwhile, back at the dining table]
    Jonathan: [to Jamie, with a tray of samples] "Hummus?"
    Jamie: "Not so much!"
    [and back at the open door]
    Paul:  [looking at the now kissing couple] "All right,
           all right, all right! What is this?"
    Mark:  [bubbling all over, walking in with Fran]
           "It's something isn't it? Isn't it something? It's like
           we are teenagers at the Prom. It's like we're virgins and
           we'd like you to know -- we wanted you to be the first to
           know in person because this is not the kind of news that
           you want to hear over some sort of... [pauses]
           Is this a bad time?"

  Supporting Cast:  Mark, Hollis, Burt and Debbie.
  Guest Characters:
  Jonathan, the caterer  . . . . . .  Randl Ask
  Sanford Klarik, Lisa's boyfriend .  Billy Morrissette

4.22        The Finale (Parts II & III) [Season Finale]

  Ira and Lisa try to engineer the Buchman reconciliation, except it
  proves easier to resolve the scheduling conflict between Burt and
  Sylvia's 45th anniversary party and Lisa's engagement party. Jamie
  and Paul try to talk their differences out by themselves.

  Written by:  Paul Reiser, Victor Levin, Billy Grundfest and
                 Larry Charles
  Directed by: David Steinberg
  Word:        Pedestrian.
  Keys:   Cousinly mime talk, twist on "Twister," paraphrased and
          proxied telephone-chat, Ira's gusto, Murray's custody, the
          elevator ride with 2 stops, the "Dateline" job interview,
          Murray and the toilet, Mai Tai with an after-kick, the hits
          at the ka-ra-o-ke bar, Hank Williams' "The Cheating Heart"
          and the kiss, Mayro the typo, Hula-hoops in '54, a beauty
          parlor estimate, the $10,000 shift, the $60 attention, and
          at long last -- the talk in the park and the walk about town.
          And yes, the test and the smile, but not a wink ;-).

  - Paul:  "Well... can anybody think of anything more awkward?"
    Jamie: "Honey..."
    Paul:  [pause, then to Jamie] "Oh, me?"
    Jamie: "Yes, you."
    Paul:  [gesturing toward Doug] "Because, I wasn't sure."
    Jamie: "Listen, I think it's --"
           [Paul lunges at the control panel and stops the elevator]
    Paul:  [to Jamie] "You know what? I really don't think
             you should say anything just now!"
    Doug:  [speaking up] "Okay, if I --"
    Paul:  "And I'm really REALLY sure of that for you!"
  - Ira:   "Y'know, in Europe this happens all the time!"
    Mark:  [puffing on his cigar, nodding] "Um-mmm."
    Paul:  [after a pause] "Where?"
    Ira:   "In Europe."
    Paul:  "Where in Europe?"
    Ira:   "Wherever you want, Italy, France! You don't think
           in France this is happening everyday?"
    Mark:  [weighing in] "Oh, the French don't care!"
    Ira:   [hitting his stride] "This is what happens all the time,
           every day, every minute, eh, what... [pauses dramatically]
           Bingo! Just happened.. guy in Marseilles just grabbed
           another guy's wife right in the croissant!"

  Supporting Cast:  Mark, Doug, Sylvia and Burt.
  Guest Characters:
  Joyce, Ira's girlfriend  . . . . .  Alessandra Petlin
  Jane Pauley's assistant  . . . . .  Ann Hamilton
  Sandra, waitress at Karaoke bar  .  Frederika Kesten
  Kissing woman at Karaoke bar . . .  Peggy Mannix
  Sanford Klarik, Lisa's fiance  . .  Billy Morrissette
  Zigmund Klarik, his father . . . .  Ed Asner
  Jonathan, the caterer  . . . . . .  Randl Ask


The Production Team

  Created by:             Paul Reiser and Danny Jacobson
  Executive Producers:    Danny Jacobson, Larry Charles
  Co-Executive Producer:  Marjorie Weitzman
  Supervising Producers:  Billy Grundfest, Brenda Hampton, Victor Levin
  Producers:              Bob Heath, Paul Reiser
  Co-Producer:            Craig Knizek
  Consulting Producers:   Stephen Engel, Pamela Norris
  Script Supervisor:      Victoria Weisbart
  Production Coordinator: David Craig
  Costumes:               Audrey Darin, Howard Sussman, Amanda Gore
  Art Direction:          Bernard Vyzga
  Photography:            Bobby Byrne
  Editing:                Sheila Amos
  Sound Mixing:           Peter Damski

  Writers:   Larry Charles, Ron Darian, Shana Goldberg-Meehan,
             Billy Grundfest, Brenda Hampton, Danny Jacobson,
             Seth Kurland, Victor Levin, Paul Reiser, Liz Sagal,
             McNally Sagal, Kenny Schwartz and Scott Silveri.

  Directors: Gordon Hunt, Thomas Schlamme and David Steinberg.


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Last Update March 27 2014 @ 02:12 PM