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Archive-name: tv/mad-about-you/season1
Posting-frequency: quarterly Last-modified: 97-01-05 Version: 5.1 URL: http://www.alumni.caltech.edu/~witelski/may-eg1.html Copyright: (c) 1994-1997 by Ramaswamy [ramax@ultranet.com] See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge ---------------------------------------------------------------- Episode Guide for Season #1 of "Mad About You" for the Usenet newsgroup alt.tv.mad-about-you ---------------------------------------------------------------- Archive-name: tv/mad-about-you/season1 Posting-frequency: quarterly Last-modified: 97-01-05 Version: 5.1 ---------------------------------------------------------------- This Episode Guide for the TV Comedy show "Mad About You" is, as a collection of information, Copyright (c) 1994-1997 by Ramaswamy [ramax@ultranet.com], Douglas B. Robertson [dr@fermi.tiger.ab.ca], Catherine Chan [cchan@io.org] and Eugene Wang [eggbert@cs.bu.edu]. All Rights Reserved. This document may be freely distributed in electronic form for personal use only, provided it is distributed in its entirety and with all original author and copyright information intact. Distribution by any other means must be by permission of the copyright holder. This material is for non-commercial use only and any sale for profit is expressly forbidden. It may not be included in any commercial documents, archives or CD-ROMs, nor uploaded to any BBS or online service without the permission of the copyright holder. The removal of this copyright notice is prohibited. ---------------------------------------------------------------- The MAY Episode Guides: Episode Guide for Season #1 Episode Guide for Season #2 Episode Guide for Season #3 Episode Guide for Season #4 Episode Guide for Season #5 ---------------------------------------------------------------- The First Season ---------------------------------------------------------------- Table of Contents Cast of Characters Supporting Characters The Production Team 1.1 (101) 92-09-23 Romantic Improvisations [Premiere] 1.2 (104) 92-09-30 Sofa's Choice 1.3 (103) 92-10-07 Sunday Times 1.4 (102) 92-10-14 Out of the Past 1.5 (106) 92-10-21 Paul in the Family 1.6 (105) 92-10-28 I'm Just So Happy For You 1.7 (107) 92-11-04 Token Friend 1.8 (109) 92-11-11 The Apartment 1.9 (111) 92-11-18 Riding Backwards 1.10 (110) 92-11-25 Neighbors from Hell 1.11 (113) 92-12-16 Met Someone 1.12 (108) 93-01-06 Maid About You 1.13 (112) 93-01-13 Togetherness 1.14 (116) 93-01-27 Weekend Getaway 1.15 (115) 93-02-06 The Wedding Affair 1.16 (114) 93-02-13 Love Among the Tiles 1.17 (118) 93-02-20 The Billionaire 1.18 (119) 93-02-27 The Man Who Said Hello 1.19 (117) 93-04-30 Swept Away 1.20 (120) 93-05-08 The Spy Who Loved Me 1.21 (122) 93-05-15 The Painter 1.22 (121) 93-05-22 Happy Anniversary [Season Finale] ---------------------------------------------------------------- Telecasts in Syndication: As of September 1996, episodes from this season are being aired in syndication in North America, with approximately 1 minute of content snipped from the original telecasts in 1992-93. Check your local TV listings for the station, days and times of telecast. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Cast of Characters Paul Buchman . . . . . . . . . . . . Paul Reiser Jamie Buchman . . . . . . . . . . . Helen Hunt Lisa Stemple . . . . . . . . . . . . Anne Ramsay Jay Selby . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tommy Hinkley Fran Devanow . . . . . . . . . . . . Leila Kenzle Mark Devanow . . . . . . . . . . . . Richard Kind Ira Buchman . . . . . . . . . . . . John Pankow Murray . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Smiley, Maui Supporting Characters Burt Buchman, Paul's father . . . . Louis Zorich Gus Stemple, Jamie's father . . . . Paul Dooley Theresa Stemple, Jamie's mother . . Nancy Dussault Ryan, Fran and Mark's son . . . . . Spencer Klein Ike, Paul's editor . . . . . . . . . Art Evans Stacey, Paul's assistant . . . . . . Kerri Green Connie, Paul's assistant . . . . . . Meagen Fay Warren, Paul's editor/cameraman . . Steven Wright Maggie Conway, neighbour in 11-C . . Judy Geeson Hal Conway, Maggie's husband . . . . Paxton Whitehead Eddie, the doorman . . . . . . . . . Lou Cutell ---------------------------------------------------------------- 1.1 Romantic Improvisations [Premiere] Paul and Jamie Buchman are newlyweds adjusting to life together in Manhattan. In the series opener, their scheduled evening alone goes awry as each assumes the other had cancelled their dinner engagement with friends. Written by: Danny Jacobson and Paul Reiser Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tease: Jamie snoring. Expressions: "Hello?" and "There's people out there!" Keys: 5 months after the wedding, 5 days without sex, the first lie, William Devane or Willem DaFoe, soup or bisque, lasagne at 7, forgetting ice in the cab, the Abbott and Costello of liars, the baking sound, the work whistle, the Eames chair, the magnet in the cloth, and the not-so-king-sized kitchen table. Lisa, Selby, Fran and Mark make their collective debut. Murray makes his debut (Smiley). - Paul: "What could you possibly have in your nose I don't have?" Jamie: [waking up] "Oh, was I snoring?" Paul: "I can't believe you're alive." - Jamie: "Will you run the shower and make the coffee? [pause] I think I'm pregnant. [Paul sits up] Just kidding... make the coffee." - Jamie: "Fran, Paul and I need a second." Fran: "Oh, are you okay?" [to Paul] "Is everything all right?" [to both] "Can I help?" - Paul: "Look, there's always going to be stuff... I put up with your crap and you put up with my crap." Jamie: "That's marriage?" Paul: "This is what I'm thinking!" 1.2 Sofa's Choice To Paul, a couch by any other name is not a couch, especially if it is a divan, a settee, or worse, a love-seat. Jamie is determined that their first major purchase be jointly made and when dragged to the department store, Paul manages to hyperventilate. Written by: Danny Jacobson and Paul Reiser Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tease: Jamie switching sides in bed. Word: Slacks. Keys: Measuring tapes and guns, toaster with faulty crumb-tray, week 3 of the big quest, big cookies and toasted sandwiches (like ambrosia, but with cheese), musk in the eye, about saying no, Tea-dipped Irish Linen, or going antique, the mocking couch, gal talk and guy talk, sporting Cretan briefs or cavorting in stirrups, dressing like a manic-depressive Psych Professor. Murray makes his second debut (Maui). - Paul: "Come here sweatheart, let me explain something. And you should really jot this down because this is very important -- EVERYTHING in the world takes 4 hours..." - Jamie: "This will look good on you." Fran: "Yah, it'll fit great if I can take my ass off." - Paul: "You know Mark, this is time you never get back. I mean there are only X number of Saturdays left and I'm spending this one, sitting on a love-seat holding a pocketbook." Mark: [pointing at the purse] "Got an emery board in there?" Paul: "I'd like to punch you in the head." Mark: "I've got this piece of nail..." Paul: "BITE IT OFF! Be a MAN!" Guest Characters: Barry's mother . . . . . . . . . . Estelle Harris Phillip, the salesman . . . . . . Richard Roat Saleslady . . . . . . . . . . . . Jodi Carlisle 1.3 Sunday Times Sunday, quiet Sunday, with nothing to do except decide what to do, but to do so quickly: see a movie, take in a parade or get to the museum, before other folks's Sundays intrude. Written by: Jeffrey Lane Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tease: From the Sunday paper: Helen Hayes broke her foot. Word: Wilding. Keys: A dream about potato chips and the Weather Channel, a rock or a pumice stone, Lisa's unreliable hands, cassoulet and cumin, gelling or clotting, Will Rogers' Follies, Ira's band, Fung Wei or Fung you, Stanley Kahn's obituary, the Belgian Film Festival, Amish quilts, 86 minutes in all, the Gay Pride parade, Chelsea 10K race (where Selby pulls a Rosie Ruiz). - Lisa: "Who is this guy Kelly and why does he need all these girls?" Paul: [walking in] "Look at this.. 'Body parts found in Jersey!' Ech!" Lisa: "Wow! Wonder if it's anyone I know." - Jamie: "I used to be out there all the time. I frizzed my hair, I wore hats, I slept with artists ... once ... commercial ... still!" Paul: "... What kind of hats?" Jamie: "All kinds, big funky hats, little funky hats, I wore hats!" Paul: "I've NEVER seen you in a hat." Jamie: "Ya, I guess those days are gone!" - Jamie: "Sorry about dinner." Paul: "It was an effort." Jamie: "Thank you..." Paul: "I mean, to eat it, was an effort." 1.4 Out of the Past News of his ex-girlfriend first fills Paul with excitement, followed by guilt, culminating in blithering idiocy after he invites Jamie to Riff's to meet her, and Jamie accepts. Written by: Steve Paymer Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tease: Rushing out of the apartment in the morning. Keys: Don Ho, Scorsese and Hitch (who used to be thin), a snip or two short of greatness, scurrying squirrels and stalking rats, being less eligible, Murray's panting choice, 1975 sideburns, smelling hair that flows, wearing cologne, Regional Account Manager or Regional VP, getting one's bearings, the poor girl's french fries, omelettes and souvlaki, the talk at the bar. Ike and Stacey make their debut. Riff's makes its debut. - Selby: "Stace!" Stacey: "Selb!" - Jamie: "So who was she?" Paul: "She.. You've got to know every little thing? She's... If I tell you everything now, then we can have nothing left to talk about when we're old." - Jamie: "You're so blind! She was threatened." Paul: "She was?" Jamie: "Come on, she has this thing with you in college, she comes to meet you for a drink and you bring along your beautiful wife. What do you think?" Paul: "I like how you can soothe me and get in a plug for yourself." Guest Characters: Lynne Stoddard . . . . . . . . . . Lisa Edelstein Ike, Paul's editor . . . . . . . . Art Evans Stacey, Paul's assistant . . . . . Kerri Green Audrey, who slaps Selby . . . . . Sarah Partridge Waiter at Riff's . . . . . . . . . Jack Kenny 1.5 Paul in the Family An unexpectedly long visit by Jamie's parents turns her into a raving lunatic who bribes Lisa with cold cash and cab-fare into sharing the experience. And Lisa delivers. Written by: Daryl Rowland and Lisa DeBenedictis Directed by: Paul Lazarus Tease: Paul ordering New York style pizza. Keys: Peanut and Sweet Pea, finding a great parking spot, about returning the gravy boat, pate and little cheeses, water with a splash of J&B (and a curled lemon-twist), blue couch or new couch, Arnold the Congressman, using a butter-knife, or a lathe, the new grill, the 10-minute clog, Canada's best: bacon, hockey and pipes, Lisa and Jamie in sisters' duet. Theresa and Gus Stemple make their debut. - Jamie: "Why aren't you wearing the yellow shirt my mom gave you?" Paul: "Because I like this shirt, and I'm saving the yellow one for when I'm lost at sea." - Gus: "She's so skinny. You don't have that bulimia thing again, do you?" Lisa: "NO! And if I did, which I don't, I wouldn't tell you because I wouldn't realize it, that's the way it works." - Jamie: "I'm 30 years old, I'm married, I've a home. How come my parents can still push all my buttons?" Paul: "That's easy, they installed 'em." Guest Characters: Gus Stemple, Jamie's father . . . Paul Dooley Theresa Stemple, Jamie's mother . Nancy Dussault 1.6 I'm Just So Happy For You Paul's film about Yankee Stadium is rejected by PBS the same day Jamie snags a major advertising account, turning her celebratory bash into a defeat party. Written by: Billy Grundfest Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tease and Tag: Excerpts from Paul's documentary featuring the peanut vendor at Yankee Stadium. Keys: The House that Ruth (Gordon) built, to relate publicly, the rumor that George Steinbrenner is nice, the Toyota Camarary (NUTS-1), "Get your peanuts here!" in one word, the Muffin Man song, Rick the assistant-in-law, flowers and champagne one way, Maalox and Tylenol the other way, with Haagen-Daz to go either way, Ruben for lunch, making crushed ice from scratch, stairmaster for new office, Pretentious Boring.. Snobs (PBS) -- "Let 'em keep their lousy tote bag!" Ryan Devanow makes his debut. - Paul: "So you know everything that your wife does at work, right?" Ike: "I know enough to fake it! You don't even know that much!" - Mark: "She's a moghul! .. This is so fantastic, I mean the thing is, that Fran spent 3 years trying to land that account, 3 years and NOTHING! And then BOOM! Jamie walks us in and BINGO! And the ironic thing is, Jamie used to be Fran's assistant and then..." Fran: "Schnookie! Get me a drink!" Mark: [deflated] "What do you feel like?" Fran: "Anything... just GO!" - Selby: "There's a gynecologist limboing in your livingroom." Jamie: "We're celebrating. I got the big account I was working on." Selby: "COMPUTRON? [Jamie gives Paul a look] All right! [to Paul] How come you didn't tell me about this? [to Jamie] How big a bonus are we talking about here?" - Selby: "We should really go out and celebrate tomorrow." Lisa: "How about lunch?" Jamie: "The Russian Tea Room?" Selby: "I don't want to have tea for lunch." Lisa: "They have food, Selby. Ya, it's a big fancy restaurant." Selby: "Gotta wear a tie?" Jamie: "They'll give you one." Selby: "Cool!" - Jamie: "When I was single, I got to be happy whenever I was happy. I guess now I get to be happy only during that subset of times when you're happy too." - Vacky: [in the film] "Lou Gehrig's wife came to every game. He was the luckiest man on the face of the Earth." Paul: "Nah... second luckiest." Supporting Cast: Ike and Stacey (their final appearance). Guest Character: Vacky, the vendor . . . . . . . . . Phil Leeds Ryan, Fran and Mark's son . . . . . Spencer Klein 1.7 Token Friend Paul is suddenly reluctant to use the subway because a former fellow film school student turns up as the token clerk at his station. Written by: Sally Lapiduss and Pamela Eells Directed by: Paul Lazarus Tease: Paul stacking, arranging, aligning, adjusting change. Word: Thwarting. Keys: VIP seats with back-tent passes, the clown cavalcade or geek parade, goat or unicorn, Flexo the Fabulous, Mark with Murray as Cujo, Paul's beady eyes, Hunter's Point and South Bronx (Hunt's Point), seven times $1.25, the track fire, honest announcements, Raul the supervisor, producer of "Tunnel of Hate," English subtitles for the Japanese and Japanese ones for the English spoken by the visiting Japanese businessmen ("We own the show!") The Buchmans' Wedding song identified as: "Color My World" - Paul: "These babies are center ring, front row! Y'know, that doubles your chances of being picked for the train." Jamie: "We talked about this last time... if you're taller than the dwarfs, they probably won't pick you." - Jamie: "Stop acting like a child! Do you want to miss the circus?" Paul: "No." Jamie: "So?" Paul: "So.. buy the tokens!" Jamie: "The guy probably isn't here, and even if he is, what's the big deal?" Paul: "Is this a huge thing I'm asking you to do? Love, honor and buy the tokens?" Supporting Cast: Ryan Devanow Guest Characters: Howie Balinger . . . . . . . . . . Steve Buscemi Sarcastic man . . . . . . . . . . Michael Goldfinger Woman asking directions . . . . . Elizabeth Norment Out-of-towner (with wife) . . . . Steven M. Porter Japanese businessmen . . . . . . . Yoshio Be, Toshi Toda 1.8 The Apartment Planning their last Will and Testament together brings up the subject of Paul's old bachelor pad, which he is now sublets, but Jamie would rather he let go of the past and surrender the lease to its current tenant. Written by: Danny Jacobson and Steve Paymer Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tease: Paul being run over by a loopy bike messenger. Keys: Pulling the plug, on being cremated or burial at sea, Power of attorney (and the couch) for Lisa, dispute over the stereo system, the Florsheim shoebox, the tossed-out jersey, uniform anatomical gift act, cheating death on a slab at Columbia (or at NYU), interrupted Bugs Kisses, memories of a microwave clambake, rent-controlled apartment for a Cuban cigar, cryonics - the big chill. - Paul: "I don't need an out, I don't want an out, I want in!" Jamie: "Not tonight!" - Jamie: "I told you, I'm being cremated. I can't believe you don't want to come with me." Paul: "Hey, don't take it personally. I told you I don't want to die, period!" Jamie: "So we're breaking up?" Paul: "I guess so... You're off to the furnace, I'm off to the freezer." Guest Characters: Uncle Jules . . . . . . . . . . . . Al Ruscio Kramer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Michael Richards 1.9 Riding Backwards On a trip to Connecticut to spend Thanksgiving with Jamie's parents, Paul and Jamie are doing fine, Mark and Fran begin to fight, while Selby and Lisa are just friends. But on the return journey, the converse is true. Written by: Jeffrey Lane Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tag: Jamie's Cello recital (76 Trombone). Keys: The night before Thanksgiving, not riding backwards, but entirely without Ruth, Mark's sister, Lisa's new boyfriend (for $50), the Veal Chop story (third date), Hiawatha's poem, the wishbone, non-invitation to golf, FedEx'ed turkey and jello, story of First Thanksgiving. - Paul: "What was that?" Jamie: "Nothing. Just told her we needed some private time since we were going up for your mother's funeral. Always works." Paul: "Why is it my mother?" Jamie: "I don't know, I wanted the leg-room, I had to kill somebody, she came to mind." - Conductor: "Have a Hap-py Ho-li-day!" Paul: "Easy for you to say." Conductor: "It's my jo-b..." Supporting Cast: Ryan Devanow Guest Characters: Train Conductor . . . . . . . . . Michael Eugene Fairman Woman passenger . . . . . . . . . Carol Ann Sasi 1.10 Neighbors from Hell The Buchmans get off on the wrong foot with the neighbours across the hall and each subsequent step to improve relations only makes matters worse. Written by: Paul Reiser and Billy Grundfest Directed by: Dennis Erdman Tag: Jamie conducting an imaginary conversation to impress the Conways. Words: Wonky, icky. Keys: Industrial-strength facial, back-tie benefit at the Aquarium, Lefty the lobster, not dressed for fish, only you, me, pizza, pineapple topping, mutual midnight massage, the pie mixup, teaching Diplomacy in New York, scruffy little scottie mutt, being knocked-out cold, Argyll snake, chapeau of knickers, on being peculiar, five excellent cheeses, Opera at the Met (Die Valkyrie -- long, loud and boring), Murray and Sophie make nice. Maggie and Hal Conway make their debut. - Maggie: "We hear you through the walls sometimes." Jamie: "Oh-my-God!" Hal: "That's her!" - Jamie: "How can somebody not like me?" Paul: "Hey... you're asking the wrong guy." Jamie: "Play with me..." Paul: [loud enough to be heard through the wall] "We can't, honey! We have Bastille Day with Jerry Lewis!" Guest Characters: Maggie Conway . . . . . . . . . . Judy Geeson Hal Conway . . . . . . . . . . . . Paxton Whitehead 1.11 Met Someone The story of "When Jamie met Paul," that begins with a chance encounter on a Sunday evening, followed by Paul's hard work to locate Jamie and then some fast talking to turn that encounter into a dinner date. Written by: Danny Jacobson Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tease: The hijacking at the West 81st Street news-stand. Tag: The retelling of the Rose Bowl Story. Keys: The parents' obituaries, the drycleaning slip, Paul's 10-second date, then the 33-floor search, and on to the Christmas party at Farrer, Gantz, Mark the third wheel, Gorbachev and Brosnan, Cheryl and Luann, the two sisters, on never being with a man, on starting a cheese, the faxed bio, the Rembrandt moment. - Jamie: "What did you come up here for then?" Paul: "Because I figured you needed your clothes for the holidays." Jamie: "That was very considerate." Paul: "Well, y'know, born and raised in New York!" - Jamie: "Well, what would you do if you were working and some woman walked in with your drycleaning?" Paul: "I'd say... Ma! Go away." - Manny: "Jamie! Have you heard my Rose Bowl story?" Jamie: "Yes, I have! I told it to my family!" Guest Characters: Karen, Paul's date . . . . . . . . Lisa Kudrow Dana, Selby's date . . . . . . . . Kathryn Spitz Lester . . . . . . . . . . . . . . David Arnott Manny Gantz . . . . . . . . . . . . Wayne Tippitt 1.12 Maid About You The Buchmans find their new once-a-week maid a big help, but she is heart-broken that her affection for Mr. Paul isn't being reciprocated. Written by: Daryl Rowland and Lisa DeBenedictis Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tease: Looking for the TV remote control. Tag: Murray gathering his socks. Keys: The vicious cleaning cycle, looking like Wayne Rogers, looking for a grey sock, the threat of a maid, tasting fresh boar, being a gunner in the Soviet Navy, Paul's portrait (with chest hair) and his spot, the Fish-sticks dynasty, fixing the left shoe, the throaty little catch, looking for the thing. Last episode featuring Selby (Tommy Hinkley). - Paul: "You're unbelievable!" Jamie: "Just one day a week." [sits down on his lap] Paul: "Then what was the point of discussing this?" Jamie: "You're right. That was wrong of me." [kisses him, then leaves, a long pause] Paul: "What just happened to me here?" - Fran: "What are you doing?" Paul: "Standing... in my apartment... in my spot." Fran: "You have a spot?" Jamie: "He loves that spot." Paul: "Doesn't Mark have a spot?" Fran: "Not that I know of." Guest Character: Masha . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Beata Pozniak 1.13 Togetherness Producer Jamie gets to hire the director for a new spot for the New York City tourism campaign and she picks Paul so they can work together, but soon finds out how much togetherness is too much. Written by: Steve Paymer Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tease and Tag: Playing Monopoly, Jamie's that is, with an ad lib by Paul at the very end. Keys: 10 hours and 24 minutes apart, on "The Young and the Restless," linguini, chicken, broccoli, and certain spices, looking for what? (cheese), prep work or goofing off, the look, the I Still Love NY campaign: excitement, energy, sizzle, codewords: logarithm, spittoon, Estes Kefauver and paramecium, Woody Allen's remark, being called sweetie in front of teamsters, conflicting creative control, Kenny the pig, no Homeless, Dragon lady, no fire escape, running out of conversation, talking to the Time-Life operator, a film on Kefauver, the admission. - Paul: "We're really going to do this?" Jamie: "Yup, it's a done deal, as long as you don't screw up the interview!" - Jamie: "I missed you this week." Paul: "We were together every minute." Jamie: "I know, I didn't have time to think about you... to miss you... I missed missing you!" Guest Characters: Al, the client . . . . . . . . . . Jerry Hardin The Big Apple . . . . . . . . . . Bill Dunlevy The Cat . . . . . . . . . . . . . Albert Owens Stage manager . . . . . . . . . . Ric Edinger 1.14 Weekend Getaway An escape to the countryside doesn't immediately cure Jamie's blues, but once it does, she's all for staying on permanently, making apples, tilling soil, or running a Chinese restaurant. Written by: Daryl Rowland and Lisa DeBendictis Directed by: Linda Day Tease: Oneupsmanship in story-telling. Tag: Chinese takeout delivery, NYC to Pine Jct. VT. Keys: Quiet pants and satin robe, luxury of an ironing board, taking the bike, not the computer, fooling Murray, a charming room at the Babcock Inn, Barnaby Jones on all channels, lighting a real log-fire (a teepee of twigs inside a log-cabin of wood), getting red-wine off silk, a Bauhaus Ming vase (according to Gunther), shed things and compost, the Polar Bear Swim Club, trying venison, Jamie's friend: Bruce Roberts, Chairman. ("Oh, you scare me!") - Paul: "And listen, when you play with his ears, scratch, but don't tug!" Lisa: "He complained last time?" Paul: "He mentioned it." - Jamie: "This apple-butter is so fresh, do you make it here?" Ned: "Actually, it is bottled in Brooklyn. A little taste of home, right here in the country?" - Paul: "To a woman.. freezing water on a woman's body is invigorating. To a man, not such a thrill... bad things happen." Jamie: "Oh, c'mon honey, they'll come back." Guest Characters: Ned, the manager . . . . . . . . . Murphy Dunne Polar Bear club member . . . . . . Parley Baer 1.15 The Wedding Affair After unwittingly revealing a secret about a bride to her father, Paul badgers Jamie into telling him one of hers, and soon is sorry he did. Written by: Billy Grundfest and Paul Reiser Directed by: Linda Day Tease: Selecting ear-rings for the wedding. Tag: Dancing at the wedding. Word: Ubiquitous. Keys: Long ones or short ones, nut pick vs. pasta-maker, on feeling Italian, Weight-watchers support, being early and not eating before, not being a bridesmaid, the just-invented finger food, the optional black-tie and tuxedo, being mistaken for a waiter, spilling the beans, finding out a bridesmaid's name (Cheryl), the unknown couple, Stan Franklin in London. Ira Buchman makes his debut. - Jamie: "Come here, look at you! [ties his tie] What? [pause, smiling] What are you staring at?" Paul: "I'm admiring a beautiful girl who married me for some reason." Jamie: [pause] "All right! Give them the nut-pick!" - Paul: "So why didn't you tell me 2 years ago?" Jamie: "If I did, would we be sitting here now?" Paul: "Yes!" Jamie: "I'm not so sure." Paul: "So now we'll never know." - Paul: "So you're saying it was the toaster?" Guest Characters: Miss Grundy, the caterer . . . . . Susan Blommaert The waiter . . . . . . . . . . . . William Newman The friendly couple . . . . . . . Neil Vipone and Annie Abbott Woman looking for her hat . . . . Laura Waterbury 1.16 Love Among the Tiles What should a couple do when trapped in their bathroom on Valentine's Day? Paul and Jamie show the way -- painting toe-nails, giving mutual facials, and using antacid tablets as food and more. Written by: Sally Lapiduss and Pamela Eells Directed by: Linda Day Tease: Getting ready to go to Fran and Mark's party. Tag: Murray the dog, not the accountant, summoning help at Fran and Mark's. Word: Concussed. Keys: Murray and the bowl, Q-Tips and tweezers, good clothes building up speed to attack the door, Mrs. McGyver, Swiss Family Buchmans, the origin of Valentine's Day (and the candy hearts), forgetting the card, tossing out wrapped soap, Victoria's big Secret, painting on a tiny canvas, giving instructions to Murray, the dependable Lisa, Ryan as Cupid, dunking swabs, Aloe, lemon, avocado, and the last Tums. - Paul: "It's a made-up holiday. No one even knows who this St. Valentine guy is!" Jamie: "He was a Roman priest who defended the Christians, and was beheaded by Claudius II on February 14th, 269 AD." - Paul: "What do you want to do?" Jamie: "Anything that takes more than 5 minutes." [a bit later] Paul: "Okay, so the Earth didn't move." Jamie: "The bathmat didn't even move." - Paul: "That's why guys get married, so they can stop wooing. It's exhausting to woo, you woo, you woo, and you woo, and then you've got to go: Whoa!" - Paul: "Come on, you know I love you, right?" Jamie: "Yes, I know, but once in a while it would be nice to have a grand romantic gesture..." Supporting Cast: Ryan Devanow Guest Characters: Sam, looking for Stephanie . . . Patrick Warburton Andrew, Lisa's Valentine . . . . Gregory Paul Martin 1.17 The Billionaire An extremely energetic and eccentric billionaire wants Paul to make a film about him. Meanwhile Paul's hires a new editor-cameraman who is anything but energetic. Written by: Sally Lapiduss and Pamela Eells Directed by: Linda Day Tease: Tap-dancing at 7:30 in the morning. Tag: Laborious mangling of Warren's name. Keys: JL does his thing, getting bagels for the Buchmans, quelling the jackhammers, Connie doing a soup survey, a da Vinci from the Pope, Baked Alaska in Alaska, an autographed Bible, 40 reels of nothing, Luciano's aria, the tense massuese. Warren makes his debut, along with Connie and Eddie. - Paul: "Wow, I see you've worked with CNN. Was it fun?" Warren: "Look, I didn't come here to be interrogated." Paul: "Fair enough. You've some fairly impressive credits here - is it all true?" Warren: "A lot of it is true." - Paul: "Y'know, if you let me use the dishwasher, we won't be having this discussion." Jamie: "Come on, for two plates..." Paul: "It's always going to be 2 plates." Jamie: "Unless we have kids or a party." Paul: "You really think it is right to bring a child into this world to use an appliance?" - Paul: "I can't believe this! The man's bought me Ringo's drums!" Warren: "Now they'll never get back together again!" Guest Characters: Freddy Stadler . . . . . . . . . . Jerry Lewis Belden, his assistant . . . . . . Bill Fox Eddie Mermelman, aka Warren . . . Steven Wright Connie, Paul's assistant . . . . . Meagen Fay Eddie, the doorman . . . . . . . . Lou Cutell Massuese . . . . . . . . . . . . . Donna Pieroni 1.18 The Man Who Said Hello Paul's father has his 15 minutes of fame following an incident with Regis Philbin that embarasses Paul, and events progress to a point that Paul is being viewed by all of New York City as an over-reactive son. Written by: Jeffrey Lane and Danny Jacobson Directed by: Linda Day Tease: Paul talking to his (still unseen) mother. Tag: Excerpt from the sound-track of "Moby." Word: Rend. Keys: 1843 people + 6 usherettes at the Theatre Royalle, ordering at El Greco, cash for Lisa, Jamie's molting jacket and the Burt shirt, being literally spit on, Paul's schmeckie in the Post ("It's partly mine!"), day after day of the Buchman crisis, the grout story, the substitute Paul, the assembly on stage. Burt Buchman makes his debut. - Paul: "He.. you know.. he embarrassed me!" Jamie: "Well, you embarrass me sometimes." Paul: "When? When did I embarrass you?" Jamie: "Pick a day!" - Paul: "Why don't we just get an unlisted phone?" Jamie: "Forget it, I already talked to the phone co." Paul: "And?" Jamie: "They agree with Burt." Guest Characters: Burt Buchman, Paul's father . . . Louis Zorich Mimi, the hummer . . . . . . . . . Maria Pitillo Marshall, the producer . . . . . . Phil Lamaar As themselves . . . . . . . . . . Regis and Joy Philbin 1.19 Swept Away Jamie thinks that Lisa and her new boyfriend are moving too fast in their relationship, so when they decide to move in together after a week's acquiantance, she is unable to stay uninvolved. Written by: Steve Paymer Directed by: Linda Day Tease: Jamie and Paul reviewing their tax deductions. Words: Actually, willy-nilly. Expression: "So what?" Keys: The look: sexy but not slutty, interested but not desperate ("the Madonna whore thing"), Lisa's new job (pointing at boats), the Cow and Free Milk expression, a psychic bond, dish-night at the movies, another tax deduction ("Pumping Irene"), the gravedigger and the former boyfriend, being handcuffed to the radiator, the key that didn't fit, actuary tables, locusts, losing patience with the Earth, the talk on the fire-escape, Delia, Amanda and Fiona. - Jamie: "Will you tell her what men think when girls give it on the first date?" Paul: "Yippee?" - Jamie: "They're finished." Paul: "They're finished?" Jamie: "I just had this tremendous desire to smoke a cigarette." Paul: "Did you just have an orgasm that I don't know about?" - Jamie: "You do these things without thinking!" Lisa: "That's right, that's how I live, I just close my eyes and I leap!" Jamie: "While I'm running all over town with a net!" Lisa: "Who's Annette?" - Lisa: "Okay, you always say you know what I'm feeling. What am I feeling now?" Jamie: "I don't know, I've never thought you feel this before." Lisa: "Ah, ha, ha ... I'm HAPPY!" Jamie: "Oh-my-God! You are ... How do you like it?" Lisa: "I don't!" Guest Characters: Michael, Lisa's boyfriend . . . . . Charles Shaughnessy Irwin, the ventriloquist . . . . . James W. Sudik Woman who hates the quiche . . . . Kayla Carr 1.20 The Spy Who Loved Me Jamie's new client is a former TV star idolized by Paul and Ira in their childhood, and as they revert back to the old ways and compete for star attention, Ira wins big. Written by: Billy Grundfest and Paul Reiser Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tease: Paul calling up the TV repairman. Tag: Ira and Paul reviewing heroines after Spy Girl. Keys: Wearing turtle-necks, Go-go boots and a bazooka, Adam West and SCRUM, growing tarragon and whining for crushed ice, Jamie is Karen, Paul is Larry, and Ira is Irving, Jamie in Viking helmet, Lisa in Go-Go boots, Mark's adoration, Ira being used ("that is so cool!"), the animated Betty. - Ira: "You're having dinner with Spy Girl?" Paul: "Better, I'm having dinner with her and you're not." Jamie: "I'm thinking about camp for you this summer." - Jamie: "Oh, go on Ira! Shock me! She loved it, couldn't get enough, I had to hold on for dear life!" - Mark: "You look as beautiful today as you did back then! You know what you should do, you should do one of those exercise videos... or Ibsen!" Guest Character: Diane Caldwell . . . . . . . . . . Barbara Feldon 1.21 The Painter Jamie hires an ex-boyfriend to paint the apartment and is a bit annoyed when Paul is not concerned by the prospect of her old flame being alone with her. Written by: Danny Jacobson and Jeffrey Lane Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tease: The painter is coming... Sherwin Williams? Word: Bounce. Keys: Sherman's toolbox, the Rambo look (statue with pants), a snack for Sherman, long walks in the rain, the fish in Nantucket, comparing belly-buttons, Ira's head (or the blue ball), the busted door, a great save, the spur of the moment thing, acting on it, the $7 crock of mustard, the Alien inside you, an attempt at reconciliation, on being Fran and Mark, the quiet hug. - Jamie: "Oh my God, you had a jealous fight and he threw you through the door! Are you all right?" Paul: "Now why do you assume he would throw me through the.. why wouldn't I throw him through the door?" Jamie: "Physics!" - Mark: "Hello, Room Service? This is Dr. Devanow from Room 618. Listen, I've got to tell ya, this is the best club sandwich I've ever had.. [pause] No, seriously, be..cause, because the bacon was crisp enough to provide traction so that the tomato didn't slide... [long pause] Sure, I'll hold!" - Jamie: "Did you change these sheets?" Paul: "Believe me!" Jamie: "A year of marriage and this is what it took to get you to make the bed?" Paul: "See? [pause] Life is full of little surprises." Jamie: "Hold me..." Guest Character: Sherman Williams . . . . . . . . . Rick Rossovich 1.22 Happy Anniversary [Season Finale] At the Buchmans' first anniversary party love blossoms between Warren and Connie while Paul tries to turn back the clock, but there is no love lost between the now separated Fran and Mark. Written by: Sally Lapiduss and Pamela Eells Directed by: Barnet Kellman Tag: Recreated wedding pictures of shoving the cake. Word: Gesture. Keys: The album in the fridge, no talk of Mark, holidays, music, sunshine or sex, on being happy only 30% of the time, a slick switch at dining table from Fran to Mark, recreating the wedding cake: rosettes, ecru and tiers, the beautiful thing (word), the old Tux, the dress that still fits, the other woman, or possibly a man, getting spackled, being obtuse, no battle over Murray, growing a garden, the kitchen table (again). - Mark: "Do you know what I'm going to do first? I'm going to ride cross-country just like they did in The Easy Rider!" Paul: "You bought a motor-cycle?" Mark: "No, a Range Rover. Can't ride a motor-cycle.. I don't have an ass." - Warren: "I'm not very good at chit-chat." Connie: [startled] "Me.. me neither." Warren: [pause] "So where do you work?" Jamie: [walking by] "Are you sure I can't get you anything to drink?" Warren: "When do you have to know by?" - Fran: "You're late!" [slams the door, then reopens it] Mark: "I'm sorry. I had a tough delivery. Triplets! It's like pulling 3 pot-roasts out of a Pringle's can." Lisa: "Makes me want to have children!" Mark: [sizing up Jamie] "Say, you look fan..tastic, just fantastic! [kisses her] Jamie: "Thanks, go back to your wife! It's so sweet of you all to come..." - Mark: "I'm not running, THIS is a rite of passage!" Fran: "You're such an idiot!" [noises from the kitchen] "Oh my God! They're at it again." Lisa: "What is this? Everytime they've a party, they're..." Mark: "You see? This is wild, this is spontaneous, this is what I mean! This is what Peter Fonda would do in The Easy Rider!" Fran: "Easy Rider. Not THE Easy Rider! Oh my God, if you can't get the title right, how are you going to survive out there?" - Paul: "I can see staring at this face for another 50 years." Jamie: "Really?" Paul: "Oh yah, absolutely!" Jamie: "Even if I get a double-chin?" Paul: "I'll love both of 'em." Jamie: "And grey hair ... and wrinkles." Paul: "Not a problem!" Jamie: "Even if I've false teeth, a moustache, and I drool?" Paul: "Why do you have to push? You've always got to push." Supporting Cast: Warren and Connie, a David Lynch version of "When Harry Met Sally..." ---------------------------------------------------------------- The Production Team Created by: Paul Reiser and Danny Jacobson Executive Producer: Danny Jacobson Co-Executive Producers: Barnet Kellman, Jeffrey Lane, Sally Lapiduss and Pamela Eells Producers: Paul Reiser, Bruce Chevillat Co-Producer: Steve Paymer Coordinating Producer: Marjorie Weitzman Biggs Associate Producer: Craig Knizek Script Supervisor: Victoria Weisbart Production Coordinator: Vicki Beck Costumes: Audrey Tannebaum, Jody Tillen Art Direction: Bernard Vyzga Photography: Richard Hissong Editing: Sheila Amos Sound Mixing: Peter Damski Writers: Lisa DeBenedictis, Pamela Eells, Billy Grundfest, Danny Jacobson, Jeffrey Lane, Sally Lapiduss, Steve Paymer, Paul Reiser and Daryl Rowland. Directors: Linda Day, Dennis Erdman, Barnet Kellman and Paul Lazarus. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Please send in corrections to: [ramax@ultranet.com] ---------------------------------------------------------------- User Contributions:
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Last Update March 27 2014 @ 02:12 PM
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alt.tv.mad-about-you Episode Guide for Season #1
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