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See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge
1 About this FAQ
1.1 Administrivia
1.2 Credits
2 About the Newsgroup
2.1 What is the purpose of the newsgroup?
2.2 How do I post?
2.2.1 My post hasn't shown up yet!
2.2.2 What languages can I post in?
+2.2.3 Can I post anonymously?
2.3 Who can participate?
2.4 What is the moderation policy?
2.4.1 I'd like to do research/post a survey about glb youth...
2.5 Can I access the group via a mailing list?
2.6 Is the group archived?
3 Resources for sexual minority youth
3.1 I want to get in contact with other gay youth
+3.1.1 On the Net
3.1.2 Penpal services
3.2 I live in "SomeCity" -- where can I go to find support?
3.2.1 Britain
3.2.2 Canada
3.2.3 France
3.2.4 USA
+3.2.5 Australia
3.3 What about books?
3.3.1 Pointers to other lists of books
3.3.2 Recommended Fiction
3.3.3 Recommended Non-fiction
3.3.4 How do I procure these books?
3.4 What about my parents?
3.5 Organizations specifically dedicated to glb youth
4 Other resources for sexual minorities
4.1 Usenet
4.2 Religious Resources
+4.2.1 Christian
4.2.2 Jewish
4.2.3 Unitarian Universalist

                          SECTION 1: ABOUT THIS FAQ
   This FAQ serves as an introduction and resource guide for the
   newsgroup Please read this document
   before posting to the newsgroup.
1.1 Administrivia

   The most current copy of this FAQ can always be found at It is also archived in
   the official FAQ archives at If you have comments,
   corrections, additions, or things you would like to see in this FAQ,
   e-mail us ( and I would be happy to
   change/fix things.
   There are quite a few references in this document that have URLs
   pointing to the Queer Resource Directory (QRD). To quote from the
   soc.motss FAQ, maintained by David Casti:
     "All files are accessible via email, FTP, gopher, WAIS, and the
     world wide web. To receive a copy of the current QRD FAQ file, which
     includes instructions for using all of the QRD's many access
     methods, send mail to An autoreply will be generated
     and mailed back to you immediately."
   This FAQ is Copyright 1995 by Jane Patterson, and is made available as
   a service to the Internet community. It may not be sold in any medium,
   including electronic, CD-ROM, or database, packaged with any
   commercial product, or published in print, without the explicit,
   written permission of the author.
1.2 Credits

   I would like to thank the following people for their assistance and
   contributions to this FAQ:
   Joe Reilly (the original author of this FAQ), Harry Rezzemini, the
   staff of the QRD, DeaconMac, John David Moss, Reid Fishler,,, David Casti, Greg Harma,
   Matt Black, Andrew Zolli and the wonderful people at Youth Assistance
                        SECTION 2: ABOUT THE NEWSGROUP
2.1 What is the purpose of the newsgroup? is specifically a support group for
   young lesbians, gay men, bisexuals or transgendered persons. It's
   purpose is to provide a safe and regulated forum where such persons
   and their friends can help each other with support and advice drawn
   from their own experiences in coming to terms with their variant
   sexuality or gender identification. The charter of the group is
   available on the group's home page at
2.2 How do I post?

   At most sites, simply posting a message in the normal manner will
   result in your post being sent to one of the moderators. If this does
   not work, you can e-mail directory to If you have
   a question about posting, or want to know if your post ever got to a
   moderator, e-mail the group at
   If your post is rejected, you will receive an e-mail with the text of
   your post, and the reason it was rejected. (Unless the reason it was
   rejected was because your e-mail address was malformed). Because this
   is a moderated newsgroup, it can take several days for your post to
   travel to the moderator, where it may take a day or two to be
   processed, and then back out into the stream of Usenet, where it may
   take several days to reach your site.
   Though the predominant language on ssyglb is English, we welcome
   submissions in German and Spanish as well. Foreign-language
   submissions will be judged by the same standards as all other
   Yes. The moderators will accept submissions sent through anonymous
   remailers, such as and
   Also, if you put a statement at the top of your message, in BIG,
   PROMINENT TYPE asking for your letter to be anonymized, we will post
   it without any identifying information. (We can't forward e-mail to
   you if you do this, however, so all of your replies will have to be
   posted to the newsgroup.)
   However, all submissions MUST contain a valid e-mail address that the
   moderators can use. If there is not, your message will not only be
   rejected, but the moderators will not be able to inform you when and
   why it was rejected.
2.3 Who can participate?

   SSYGLB is, as the name implies, a safe space for sexual minority
   youth. We invite and encourage people of all ages and orientations to
   participate if you feel you have something helpful or constructive to
2.4 What is the moderation policy?

   SSYGLB is moderated in order to make it a safe, high-signal forum. To
   that end, the moderators will reject:
     * Ad hominem personal attacks, unnecessary profanity or any other
       sort of flaming behavior. Strongly worded disagreements or
       rebuttals will not be rejected where they don't cross the line
       into gratuitous abuse or four letter diatribes.
     * As a support group, does not
       operate under the principle of "equal time". Consequently, under
       no circumstances will the moderators approve any messages
       containing homophobic abuse, declarations of the supposed
       immorality, condemnation or blanket judgement of homosexuality
       derived from any religious or secular source, or any other
       submission which the moderators consider contrary to the mutually
       supportive and friendly atmosphere of the group.
     * Off-topic posts: S.s.y.g-l-b is a group for gay, lesbian,
       bisexual, transgendered and exploring young people and their
       friends to exchange information and support relevant to their
       youth and sexuality. Any submission which is not of specific
       relevance to lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered youth -
       whether to specific people or in the abstract - is off-topic for
       this newsgroup.
     * Posts without a valid e-mail address attached. The moderators are
       willing to anonymize messages, or approve posts from anonymous
       remailers, but the moderators must be able to contact the person
       who sent the post.
     * Cross-posted articles
     * Binaries or uuencoded files. All binaries should be posted in the
       binary groups.
     * Personal ads are not approved under any circumstances. Requests
       for email which do not contain any other content of relevance or
       interest to the other readers of the group may be approved in
       exceptional circumstances at moderator's discretion, but in
       practice are rarely approved at all. Any request for email should
          + Non-sexual in nature. Sexual requests are always rejected
            whatever form they take.
          + Tagged on to an introduction to the other readers of the
            group, (a "demuffining") of sufficient length and detail to
            make interesting reading and add to the group atmosphere and
            dynamic. "Hi, My name's Peter and I'm 19. Does anyone else
            live in North Carolina? Email me if you do." is a
            (fictitious) example of the sort of submission the moderators
            receive all the time and reject. It add nothing to the group
            and says nothing that anyone would want to read.
     * Requests for information that is in the FAQ.
     * General discussions of gay politics/issues that aren't
       specifically youth related. (soc.motss,,
       alt.politics.homosexuality, and other forums are more appropriate)
   The moderators reserve the right to edit approved posts. All personal
   snail mail addresses or telephone numbers will be removed from
   Articles submitted from researchers, authors, etc. requesting
   infomation for their projects will be approved provided they:
     * Exclude questionnaires -- requests for participants are
     * Introduce themselves to the readership, outlining the significance
       of their work to the group.
     * Agree to share the relevant findings with the group upon
       completion of their projects.
     * Agree to respect the rights and privacy of the responses taken
       from the group. (Receiving permission from posters for reprints of
       their comments)
2.5 Can I get this via a mailing list?

   Yes. A mailing list that mirrors this newsgroup has been set up,
   courtesy of Eric Walker. Warning: it is very high-traffic, and there
   is no digest function. To subscribe, send the message "subscribe
   glb-youth-l" to You will be
   automatically added, and sent information about the list and how to
   unsubscribe should you want to. (I recommend that you save that
2.6 Is there an archive of the group anwhere?

   Not really. Individual moderators may keep archives of the msesages
   they approve and reject, but there are no easily accessible archives
   at this point.
3.1 I want to get in contact with other gay youth.

   As you will have noted in the moderation policy, we don't accept posts
   that are just requests for contact. But there are lots of ways to get
   in contact with other gay youth.
  3.1.1 ON THE NET
   The newsgroup is, of course, a great place to meet people. Get
   involved in the discussions, and you should find some new friends
   fairly quickly.
   On Internet Relay Chat, visit the #gayteen channel.
   [Contributed by Andrew Zolli, PARADOX owner and admin]
   PARADOX, an online G/L/B/T/A/O Community. PARADOX is a MUD, or online
   virtual space, where you can meet others, chat online (in real time),
   check out a Queer newsfeed, and become, if you wish, a "resident,"
   with your own password, your own virtual rooms to decorate, and access
   to PARADOX email. PARADOX is designed to be a free queer-safe space on
   the net. To access PARADOX, telnet to VASSUN.VASSAR.EDU 4040, or see
   the web pages at HTTP://WWW.CS.VASSAR.EDU/~anzolli/paradox.html
   There are a large number of gay-related mailing lists, ranging from
   Gay Catholics to Bisexual Theory Discussion. The best list is
   available from the QRD at
   +There is a new list for young women:
     GIRL, a list for and about girls, grrrls, young women, lesbian and
     feminist youth, "babydykes", "young and angrys"... (female and
     approximately 25 and younger).
     This list is private and unmoderated: to subscribe, it's mandatory
     that you send a brief bio (100 words or more) including your age,
     interest in the list, anything about your background, work,
     experiences or commitments, and anything else you want the
     listmembers to know (bios are posted when your subscription is
     accepted- you must request otherwise or this will be done
     automatically). The list is available in digest form, request this
     in your bio if you want this option. To subscribe, send a bio to:
   [Contributed by IGLYO chair Thomas Tichelmann,]
   International Lesbian and Gay Youth Organization (IGLYO) has an
   international penpal service for anyone under 27.
   "Write to:
    IGLYO Main Secretariat
    PO Box 542
    NL-1000 AM Amsterdam
    the Netherlands
   Please include a copy of any ID (so we can verify your age and that
   your are eligible, the data is protected by the European Data
   Protection Act), write a little bit about yourself and what you are
   looking for. IGLYO will then get back to you with other participants
   of the Penpal service. THIS SERVICE IS FREE OF CHARGE (However
   donations are welcome)"
   Orion Services operates a glb penpal service, including a special
   youth service. Send an SASE to POBox 139, Hagaman, NY, 12086
    Alyson Publications
   I know that Alyson publications used to have a youth penpal service,
   but I can't find any information about it. I would appreciate the
   details, if anyone has them
3.2 I live in SomeCity. Where can I go to find support?

   The following are ways of getting information via the Internet about
   "real life" resources.
  3.2.1 BRITAIN
   [Contributed by FREELORN (]
   I've set up some Resource pages for L/G/B people which include details
   of youth groups, safer sex advice, advice/help phone lines, coming out
   stories, a shops/pubs/clubs guide and information and links to other
   organisations on theinternet. It covers all of Great Britain and
   Northern Ireland and more information is always being added.
   It is accessible at and any articles for
   submission can be sent to (please specify how anonymous
   you want the article to be). I do reserve the right to edit the
   articles for length and suitability (arcane British Laws and
   University restrictions).
   I'm really looking for British contributors or contributors that know
   the British scene. If you have any questions about submitting then do
   contact either or
  3.2.2 CANADA
   The Canadian QRD is on the WWW at
  3.2.3 FRANCE
   The French QRD is at and
  3.2.4 USA
   The QueerAmerica database exists to find glbo resources in the U.S. If
   you have WWW access, you can search the database at If you don't have WWW access, you
   can send e-mail to including your city, state,
   zipcode, area coda, age and gender, and the volunteers at !OutProud!
   will e-mail you a list of resources in your area appropriate to your
   age and gender.
  +3.2.5 AUSTRALIA
   The Australian QRD can be found at
3.3 What about Books?

   Books are wonderful resources. They don't talk back, or react in ways
   you weren't expecting, and they contain lots and lots of information.
   Before we get into the recommendations of ssyglb readers, I would like
   to recommend the "Alternative Sexualities in Fantasy and SF" list
   maintained by M.A. Mohanraj. It is posted occasionally and available
   on the WWW at At
   the QRD, try, and another list,
   compiled by Lambda Rising Bookstore, is at, and yet another at
   The following books have been recommended by readers of ssyglb or
   soc.motss. (and I am still taking recommendations :) Most of them are
   novels about coming out. Spelling has been cut and pasted from the
   messages, and is not guaranteed. Starred entries are endorsed by at
   least one of the moderators.
     * "Ambidextrous: a memoir in the form of a Novel" (Felice Picano)
     * "Landscape: Memory" (Matthew Stadler)
     * "White People" (a collection of short stories by Alan Garaganus)
     * "Funny Boy" (Shyam Selvadurai)
     * "Magic's Pawn","Magic's Price", "Magic's Promise" (Mercedes
       Lackey) *
     * "Pagan Babies" (Greg Johnson)
     * "Rubyfruit Jungle" (Rita Mae Brown) *
     * "Growing Up Gay/Growing Up Lesbian, A Literary Anthology" (edited
       by Bennett L. Singer)
     * "Tales of the City" (Armistead Maupin) *
     * +"Half Way Home", "Becoming A Man"[autobiography] (Paul Monette)
     * "Surprising Myself" (Christopher Bram)
     * "A Home at the End of the World" (Michael Cunningham)
     * "River Road" (C. F. Borgman)
     * "The Boys on the Rock" (John Fox)
     * "The Aerodynamics of Pork" (Patrick Gale)
     * "Maurice" (E. M. Forster)
     * "A Boy's Own Story" and its sequel "The Beautiful Room is Empty"
       (Edmund White)
     * +"The Best Little Boy in the World" (John Reid)
     * +"Annie on my Mind" (Nancy Garden)
     * +"Entries From A Hot Pink Notebook" (Todd D. Brown)
     * +"Living Upstairs" (Joseph Hansen)
     * "Twice Blessed: On Being Lesbian, Gay, and Jewish." (editors,
       Christie Balka and Andy Rose) Boston: Beacon Press, 1989. ISBN #
     * "Coming Out to Parents: a two-way survival guide for lesbians and
       gay men and their parents" (M.V. Borhek) Pilgrim Press,
     * "Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out" (Edited by L.
       Hutchins & L. Kaahumanu) Alyson Publications, Boston, 1991.
     * "Reflections of a Rock Lobster" (Aaron Fricke) [autobiography]
     * "Taking A Chance on God" (John J McNeil) [for Catholics]
   A gay bookstore, if you can find one, is usually a wonderful place,
   where you can find information about support resources in your
   community as well as books. If you can't find one or are not ready to
   go to one yet:
   Answer 1: Go to the library.
   [Contributed by (Harry Rezzemini)]
   "An "ISBN" is an International Standard Book Number, by which any
   bookstore worthy of that name would be able to order the title for
   Also, for those inquiring me...who have little cash to
   back up book-buying sprees, I encouage you to use libraries. That's
   not only because I work in one--but because I do, I can attempt to
   reassure you that by and large, libraries TRY and most often SUCCEED
   to be safe places to...explore. One early post to s.s.y.glb mentioned
   fears about checking out books on sexuality...well, okay. It's
   uncomfortable to and that person across the counter your
   selections--but know this: libraries have iron-clad rules (backed up
   by legal precedent) against telling ANYONE what you've checked out.
   That's why when Bozo checks out the only copy of the book EVERYONE
   needs for a class...the folks at the front desk CAN'T tell you who has
   it. It's against the law. So go check out those uncomfortable
   books--consider it practice for BUYING CONDOMS!
   Also know that the American Library Association is one of the
   staunchest opponents of censorship or book-banning or limiting the
   unrestricted access of everyone to information, in any way. That's not
   to say that policies may not be in place in your local library which
   might be different."
   Answer 2: Mail order
   [Contributed by DeaconMac (]
   Virtually every gay and lesbian book in print can be ordered from
   Lambda Rising Bookstores. For ordering information, send e-mail to:
3.4 What about my parents?

   Coming out to your parents is probably one of the harder things most
   of us do in our coming-out process. There is no one easy answer for
   the "proper" way to do it -- if you have questions about coming out to
   your parents, please ask them on the group, where there is frequently
   lively discussion on that very topic. And yes, we'd love to hear your
   coming out stories. :)
   +PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) has support groups
   for parents of gay children. You can call 202-638-4200 in the U.S. to
   find a chapter near your parents. They also have excellent pamphlets
   about coming out. You can get more information from Emily Rizzo, a
   PFLAG member on the 'net. Her e-mail address is, and she can send you more information.
   (Thank you, Emily!) Please note that the 1-800 number is no longer
    Youth Assistance Organization
   [Contributed by (Reid Fishler) aka]
   The Youth Assistance Organization (YAO) can be found on-line, at See their web pages at
   " As always, if you or a friend need help, mail to, and
   your peers will be happy to help you. We are here for you because no
   one was here for us...don't repeat this misjustice."
    Kaleidoscope Youth Coalition, Inc.
   [Contributed by Greg Harma (]
   Kaleidoscope Youth Coalition is a growing organization whose Mission
   is to enrich and foster the positive growht and development of gay,
   lesbian, and bisexual youth and transgender youth through education,
   information, advocacy, self-empowerment, resource development,
   collaboration, coalition building, and community.
   Kaleidoscope Youth Coalition is working with a local child-serving
   agency to create and implement a 24-hour hotline for young people who
   are experiencing issues around sexual orientation or gender
   orientation. RAINBOW PRIDE HOTLINE (1-800-291-9190) began July 1, 1994
   and is available for support/crisis intervention and
   To receive more information or to speak with someone about the ways in
   which you or your organization may become involved, please contact us
   at 614/447-7199 or write to us:
    Kaleidoscope Youth Coalition, Inc.
    PO Box 8104
    Columbus, OH 43201
    International Lesbian and Gay Youth Organization
   IGLYO's objectives are:
     * to improve the lives of young lesbians, gays and bisexuals
     * to bring an end to discrimination
     * to support the emancipation of young lesbians, gays and bisexuals
     * to create equal opportunities for all young people
   More information is available from:
    IGLYO Main Secretariat
    PO Box 542
    NL-1000 AM Amsterdam
    the Netherlands
    IGLYO America
    PO Box 42463
    Washington DC 20016-0463
   IGLYO is a registered non-profit organization in the European Union
   (based in Amsterdam) and the USA
   Disclaimer: I am not going to attempt to cover everything, as that has
   been done before, and duplicating the effort would be silly. So what
   follows is mostly pointers to large collections of resources.
4.1 Usenet

   There are several other Usenet groups for sexual minorities. The FAQs
   for soc.motss,, and are all excellent
   sources of information, and can be found in the FAQ archives at, as well as in their groups of origin and news.answers.
4.2 Religious resources

   Many of us face apparent contradiction or lack of support in our
   communities of faith. We can be surprised and relieved to find support
   within our religious groups. Please be aware that the following are
   Seattle-centric. Please feel free to email me additions in any
   category or additions of categories. Many faiths are omitted because I
   am lacking information. If you don't see something that addresses you,
   please post to the newsgroup to find out where your support is in your
   community of faith.
  +4.2.1 CHRISTIAN
   Many communities house a Metropolitan Community Church, which is a
   Christian Church specifically dedicated to serving the sexual minority
   Christian Community. Information about MCC can be found in the QRD at
   The Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement can be reached on the WWW at, and by snail mail at
    The Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement (LGCM)
    Oxford House
    Derbyshire Street
    E2 6HG U.K.
   Dignity is a faith community of lesbian, gay, bisexual Catholics, &
   their families & friends. We celebrate our inherent dignity with pride
   in liturgy, mutual support, seeking justice, common action, & social
   activities. Information, including contact information, for Dignity is
   available from the QRD at A Dignity listserv
   ( can be subscribed to via
   Affirmation is a support and social network for L.D.S. (Mormon) gays &
   lesbians, their families, & friends. Monthly meetings & social
   activities. Outstanding newsletter; nationally affiliated.
   (Affirmation/Seattle can be contacted at P.O. Box 23223, Seattle, WA
   Presbyterians for Lesbian and Gay Concerns have their newsletters
   available from the QRD at
   There is a gay Christian mailing list - contact for details.
  4.2.2 JEWISH
   Beth El Binah, a gay Jewish congregation in Texas, has a home page on
   the WWW at
   Unitarian Universalism is a liberal, non-dogmatic church that
   officially confirmed (in the 1970s) its acceptance of gay and lesbian
   people. Most UU ministers will perform committment ceremonies for
   same-sex couples. A plethora of information about UUs and queer
   concerns can be found at
   Please send all comments, corrections or additions to the
   To submit an article, e-mail to
   To contact the moderators, e-mail to

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