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alt.romance "FAQ" (part 2 of 3) [posted monthly]
Section - #B# Backrubs and massages

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Top Document: alt.romance "FAQ" (part 2 of 3) [posted monthly]
Previous Document: #A# Sensitivity training
Next Document: #C# Fireplace scenes and the RFA
See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge
If you want to know more about backrubs and massages read the
alt.backrubs FAQ! <>
In alt.backrubs you can also find addresses of people who might
want to exchange massages with you.
Here are a few introductions:

 From: (Dan Barrett)  @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}-,-`- @}-

Torsten Wesley Adair <> wrote:

0)	The most important backrub rule in my opinion:  never break contact.
	Once you start touching the person, do not stop until the backrub
	is over.  Even if you must rest or switch positions, keep a hand
	touching his/her back.

>1)  Keep your fingernails short, and not sharp.

1.5)	Scratching (lightly or hard, depending on your victim) after a
	backrub can be wonderful.  Follow this with extremely light touching
	(a backrub where you are hardly touching the person at all, except
	with fingertips).  Careful not to tickle too much -- add more
	pressure if you're tickling.  Finish up with very light "real"

>2)  Before you start, ask the receipient to tell you if anything you do makes
>    her or him uncomfortable.
>3)  Rub firmly, but not hard.
>4)  Use all parts of your hand.  Sometimes use your fingertips, your palms,
>    even your knuckles.

4.5)	Play piano scales all over his/her back.  Some people really like

>5)  If you use a substance, use skin lotion, and use it sparingly.  Scented
>    oils are acceptible (but be cautious of allergies).

5.5)	Johnson's Baby Oil is great.

>6)  Backs are nice, but don't limit yourself.

6.5)	DO limit yourself if you don't know the person very well.  Unwanted
	touching will ruin both of your evenings.

7)	If you don't know the person very well, offer a backrub ONLY if you
	really mean "backrub."  If you say "backrub" when you really are
	just trying to get the person into bed, then (in my opinion at least)
	you are a slime.

8)	Have fun!


 From: (Keith Nugent)  @}-,-`-- @}-,-`--- @}-,-`---

           Giving an Effective Massage (Made Easy)

Three Basic Rules:

1.)  Enjoy yourself
2.)  Stay Comfortable
3.)  Keep the Massee Comfortable

	(Massage from friend to friend, not intended to be sexual.)

	Start with conversation.  Without even touching the person,
talk to them.  Get attuned to how they're feeling etc at the time of
the massage.  Find out how their day,week,month has been (Depending on
how often you talk to them. =)   Ask them if there are any areas that
are painful or sensitive that they'd like avoided or paid special
attention to.   Remember that if they're not comfortable with you,
they won't be comfortable with the massage they're receiving from you.
Ask them if they would be uncomfortable with taking their clothes off.
Let them know that you won't see them completely nude, but the purpose
of the removal of clothing is so that lotions or oils can be used and
so that the friction between cloth and skin won't cause discomfort for
either the masseur/masseuse or massee.   If they're uncomfortable
with taking off their clothes, let them know that it's okay to leave
them on. Again, they have to be comfortable in order to enjoy the
massage.  If they do wear clothes, don't use lotins or oils, but
instead decide (Depending on the type of clothing) if you're going to
cause the friction between your skin and the cloth or the massee's
skin and cloth.  If the clothing is very loose, you're best to keep
the cloth with your hand.  If the clothing is tight, it's best to keep
it with the skin of the massee.

	Assuming that not everyone has a massage table available, the
floor is the next best thing (In some cases, it's better, IMO).  Lay
out an exercise mat or similar pad if you have it.  If not, a blanket
or comforter will work fine.  Make sure that the surface that the
person is lying on won't hurt their skin. (Don't use a rough feeling
blanket... The smoother, the better.)   Make sure that there's room
enough for the person to stretch out on and spread their arms and legs
out a little on without falling off the edge.  Tell the person that
after you leave the room, you want them to take off their clothing and
lie on their stomach on the matt, covering their butt with a towel.
Have another towel handy  to cover the breasts of a female massee when
she turns over.  When they're lying on the floor properly covered,
they should call you back into the room to begin the massage.  You
should have a natural oil or lotion ready.  If possible, have a warm
water bath that you keep the bottle in (A bowl of warm water works
good).  You'll want to use an organic oil or lotion rather than an
animal fat-based oil or a mineral oil.  These can harm some people's
skins.  Vegetable oils and lotions work best.  Personally, I use
a Keoki Papaya Aloe Lanolin lotion.  You can usually find a good
natural lotion or oil at GNC or any health store.

	Start by rubbing the lotion between both hands to warm it up
if it isn't already warm.  Gently spread it across the upper back and
shoulders, getting the massee used to your touch.  IMPORTANT:  Once
you have touched the person, never lose touch til you're done.  You
want to create a bonded feeling between you and your friend through
touch and if you break contact, that feeling is ruined.   Keep talking
to the person while you spread the lotion across the upper back and
	Spread the lotion in a circular motion of each hand for a few
rotations, gradually moving your hands to the shoulders, cupping the
hands over the tops of the shoulders, pulling down on the muscles
between the neck and shoulder joints with your four fingers and
pushing up with the thumbs on the same muscles, pushing up along the
back of the neck muscles.  Use circular motions with the thumbs along
this area while gently pulling these muscles with the fingers.  Move
the hands down the shoulders, pulling on the muscles with fingers and
pushing with the thumbs.  IMPORTANT:  Don't push on the spine!  Keep
the hands on either side of the spine, working down along the muscles.
Work your way back up the back with both hands cupped to the sides of
the back, thumbs along either side of the spine.  Pull out from the
spine with the thumbs, working back to the top of the back.  Return to
the shoulders, again cupping the hands over the shoulders and pulling
with your four fingers and pushing with the thumbs.  Starting at the
top of the back pull down along either side of the spine with the four
fingers, pushing down with some force, being careful not to hurt the
massee.  Work back up the back and use both hands on each shoulder,
switching from side to side.  Repeat the above as nescessary.
	When you get bored working on the back [kidding] move gently
down the sides to the legs.  Rub gently down to the ankles.  Cup both
hands over one ankle, moving your body around to one side of the feet.
Holding both hands over the ankle, knead the legs by pulling up on one
side of the leg with the thumb of one hand while pulling back with the
fingers of the other hand, keeping both hands next to each other.
Move back and forth like this with both hands up and down the calf of
the leg.  Rotate the hands ninety degrees so that both thumbs are in
the middle of the knee and the fingers are cuppping over to the sides
of the thigh.  Pull away from the center of the leg with the thumbs,
using the fingers as leverage (but not pressing too hard so as to hurt
the person).  Work up and down the thigh pulling out from the center
with both hands.  When you reach the top of the thigh, pull down the
center of the leg til you reach the bottom of the thigh and start
working back up.  Work back down to the ankle and swithch legs.
Repeat on the other leg.  Work back up the thigh to the back, cupping
the hands over both thighs with the thumbs off center to the outside
of the leg, pressing with the fingers.  As you move your hands up,
your thumbs will rub along the buttocks and the fingers along the
sides.  You will be cupping each hand on the side of the lower back of
the massee.  Work up the back repeating what you worked on before.
	Move down the arms, gently rubbing lengthwise.  Work back to
the back and rub the neck.  Rub the fingers up into the scalp, moving
back and forth with all your fingers as if scratching, but without the
nails of your hands.    Show the person the other towel and move your
body around, placing yourself above their head.  Have them turn over,
keeping your hands on their head.  Move down their arms, rub the
fronts of the legs in a similar way as to the backs of the legs, and
rub the feet, if you have the knowledge.  Unfortunately, it takes a
lot of explanation to properly describe a foot massage, but as long as
you're careful, you can't hurt the person, so experiment.

	In order to maintain contact, you'll have to apply the oil or
lotion with one hand, but have to warm it before you apply it.  To do
this, use one hand to pick up the bottle and squeeze some oil or
lotion into the nape of the opposite hand, then rub the hand that held
the bottle ove the nape to warm the oil, gently working the oil onto
the skin.   Just remember that you're free to experiment with these
different techniques and don't have to follow this description
exactly.  If you're interested in a more detailed account, write to me
or call your local AMTA chapter for a list of schools in your area.

Keep in Touch!


 From:	" (M.A.STONE)" <>  @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}-,-`-- @}-,--

A short addition to the massage manual:-face massage.  This can be very
relaxing and, as long as it is done carefully, fun for the masseur too.
Make the victim/patient lie on their back with their eyes closed.  Using
plain unscented carrier oil (very important) sit/kneel behind their head.
Start on the front of the neck and use the tips of the first two fingers
only.  You have to sort of draw lines on their face and neck, very lightly.
Massage up the neck and out towards the ears; from the chin, along the
jawbone to the ears again.  Then up the cheeks to the temples and along the
cheekbones under the eyes to the temples.
Then from between the eyes above the nose in an arch along the forehead to
the temples again.  Cover all the area on the forehead by drawing arches
from between the eyes to the temples.  Massage the temples lightly with
small circular movements, in both directions.  Then, using one finger only,
dot along underneath the eye from the nose to the temple, and above the eye
in the eyesocket the same way.  It is very important to make sure that the
patient is completly relaxed, and that you are 'in tune' with them.


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Top Document: alt.romance "FAQ" (part 2 of 3) [posted monthly]
Previous Document: #A# Sensitivity training
Next Document: #C# Fireplace scenes and the RFA

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