Search the FAQ Archives

3 - A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M
N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - X - Y - Z
faqs.org - Internet FAQ Archives

The soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm FAQ list (Part 7 of 7)

( Part0 - Part1 - Part2 - Part3 - Part4 - Part5 - Part6 )
[ Usenet FAQs | Web FAQs | Documents | RFC Index | Business Photos and Profiles ]
The soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm FAQ List
Where the kinky knowledge resides!
Part 7 of 7

See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge
This list is posted semi-monthly, on or around the 1st and 15th.
Please send additions, suggestions, etc. to johnson_grey@unrealities.com
If this posting appears truncated or damaged, contact me, also.

The World Wide Web version of this FAQ (which is the prime copy) is at:
        http://www.unrealities.com/adult/ssbb/faq.htm
Please make links to that page, rather than posting separate
Web copies of the text of this FAQ.

This FAQ list is copyrighted.  The full copyright notice appears at
the end of each part of the list; please respect it.

 
*The FAQs Themselves*

PART 1:
 1. What do B&D, S&M, D&S, "top", "bottom" mean?

 2. What is a "scene", and what is "negotiation"?

 3. What is a "safeword"?

 4. When is pain not pain?

 5. What are some basics of safe SM, emotionally and physically?
PART 2:
 6. Is everyone either a top or a bottom?  What's a "switch"?

 7. How can I learn to be a good top?

 8. How can I learn to be a good bottom?

 9. Is BDSM sexual?

10. Why is bondage fun?

11. Why is whipping fun?
PART 3:
12. What is body piercing? What is "C&B" play, or "genitorture"?

13. What is cutting/play piercing/burning/branding/electrical play? 
    What are "bloodsports"?

14. What is it about breath control? Is it safe to make someone pass 
    out?

15. What are "golden showers"? How about "scat"?

16. Is anal sex safe? Why do people do it?

17. What is "fisting"?
PART 4:
18. Does the way I play qualify as "real" SM? What is "real" SM, anyway?

19. What is it about leather/latex/high heels/corsets/other fetishes?

20. What about shaving body hair and/or crossdressing?

21. Why am I defending SM?

22. Is SM degrading or abusive? Were most SM people abused?
PART 5:
23. Why is SM taboo, and is SM criminal, unnatural, immoral, 
    unethical, or unhealthy?

24. Isn't the bottom always in control?

25. Can someone _really_ be someone else's slave?

26. What are the "codes"?

27. My fantasies scare me. What if I get too into SM?
PART 6:
28. I want to throw a play party; how do I go about it?

29. I want to attend a play party; what is the etiquette?

30. What's the deal with this anonymity stuff?

31. Are SM people being politically and socially harassed?

32. What topics are or aren't acceptable on s.s.b-b? (including, 
    what's s.s.b-b's charter?)

33. I'm sick of certain topics on s.s.b-b. How can I avoid them? Also, 
    what's with all these ads?


34. OK, so I can't post ads to s.s.b-b.  Where CAN I post them?

35. I don't have access to soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm; what can I do 
    to get information about the scene?

PART 7:
36. What are some websites/books/magazines/organizations/stores/news 
    archives where I can get SM information or toys, or meet people in the scene?


=======================================================================
*36. What are some web sites/books/magazines/organizations/stores/news
archives where I can get SM information or toys, or meet people in the
scene?*

Well, time does take its toll on the kinky businesses of the world. This
list was always abbreviated but lately it has become badly outdated. So
I'll no longer claim this is anything other than just one starting point
for y'all..

Here's what's here:

 1. Web sites and newsgroups

 2. Nonfiction books

 3. Fiction books

 4. Videos

 5. Magazines

 6. Organizations

 7. Mail-order houses

*Web sites and newsgroups* Many of the books and stores I list also have
web sites; I include those URLs in the book/store listings themselves.

*But first, a Must See Site:*

{http://www.houseofgord.com} www.houseofgord.com is the best
ultrabondage site on the Net, IMNSHAAO. Yahoo has a
{http://www.yahoo.com/Society_and_Culture/Sexuality/BDSM/} BDSM page!
This is one handy place to start browsing, all right! I'm very happy
this page exists; my kudos to Yahoo for having the guts to host it.

Another large-scale survey site is {http://bdsm.miningco.com} the Mining
Co.'s site on BDSM.

The Society for Human Sexuality at the University of Washington has a
web page at {http://www.sexuality.org/}; it contains a Guide to Safer
Sex as well as a basic how-to of flogging.

There are also various BDSM community web sites:

o {http://www.cuffs.com/} D/S Kiosk is a damn fine site if you
are into IRC (Internet Relay Chat) at all; this is where many IRC
BDSMers coordinate their nefarious exploits.

o Steven S. Davis's {http://www.magenta.com/~sd/sd.html}
LMNOP Page is worthwhile if you're interested in more from one of
soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm's most prolific and worthwhile posters--and
{http://www.magenta.com/~sd/sources.html} the resource list
there is rather better updated than this!

o The {http://www.alternate.com} Alternate Sources page looks
like a pretty wide-ranging resource list in itself.

These sites have PLENTY of hotlist links and should serve as fine
starting points for your kinky netsurfing.

An indispensable reference for any kinky person is the
{http://www.bannon.com/kap} Kink Aware Professionals list.  Looking for
a doctor or a therapist who understands what makes you tick?  Look no
further!  (Or at least, start with that list!)

Elf Sternberg hosts the alt.sex FAQ list; see
{http://www.halcyon.com/elf/index.html} his homepage for details.

Trevor Jacques has a nice SM site up: {http://SaferSM.org/SaferSM.html}.

An interesting document on spiritual/magical submission is the
{http://php.indiana.edu/~csluder/spiritual-submission.faq.txt}
"Spiritual BDSM FAQ".

A very opinionated page is the {http://gloria-brame.com/subbook.htm}
Submissive Women Speak page.  Definitely thought-provoking stuff.

Two of the best-known posters to s.s.b-b in days gone by were Rosie
Marquez and Laylah Martelli. There are mirrors of their postings at
{http://www.xs4all.nl/~wijnands/rosie/rosie.htm} and
{http://www.xs4all.nl/~wijnands/laylah/laylah.html}.

Other newsgroups that are in some ways related to s.s.b-b are
alt.sex.spanking (for folks who are into that in particular),
alt.sex.fetish.fashion (for lovers of sexy clothes), alt.sex.stories
(often there are SM-related stories posted there),
alt.sex.stories.bondage (sometimes there are some here too),
alt.sex.femdom (for stories and discussion about female dominance), and
so forth

And don't forget alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bondage,
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.latex, or
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.leather!

Note for posterity: I actually created alt.sex.stories.bondage and all
three of the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica groups I mention above, and
to date I've downloaded well over 500 stories and 10,000 pictures from
the groups! Ain't the Internet an amazing place? If you build it, they
will come... and come, and come again :-)

The {http://www.mcsp.com/smcop/welcome.html} SM Community Outreach
Project site has apparently not been updated in a year or so (as of
spring 1999), but I'm hardly about to criticize them for that given how
long it's been since I updated this FAQ!  Still some useful reference
info here.

Another valuable activist link seems to be the
{http://members.aol.com/NOWSM/Home.html} S/M Policy Reform Project
which is dedicated to revamping the NOW's policy on SM.

If you want to start negotiating with someone new about what kinds of
things you each would and wouldn't enjoy doing,
{http://ms.ha.md.us/~tammad/over21/bondage/sub-checklist.html} here's a
great checklist for starting things off!

And if you want inspiration about where to get SM toys on the cheap,
check out this list!

Jay Wiseman, author of SM 101 (see the Books section), has an
{http://members.aol.com/oldrope/} online resource list of his own.

Some of my other fave bondage and fetish sites:

o Devonshire Productions

o {http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/4477/} Liquidsmooth

*Nonfiction books* If you liked this FAQ, you will very likely enjoy
these books. These describe consensual SM as I have been using the term
in this FAQ, and are all excellent resources for learning.)

Pat Califia, _Sensuous Magic_ (New York, Masquerade Books, 1993). ISBN
1-56333-131-4, softcover. Pat Califia is a legendary writer about SM
behavior and SM fantasy. This is her latest book and I recommend it
unhesitatingly. If you are into SM, you will learn from this book; and
if you liked this FAQ but want more details, this is THE BOOK for you.
Order it from Good Vibrations (see the store list below).

_Different Loving_, by Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame, and Jon Jacobs
(Villard Books, New York, 1993, ISBN 0-679-40873-8), is a thorough,
non-judgmental work describing all aspects of SM sexuality. There are
hundreds of interviews and lots and lots of accurate information. If
you ever wondered whether there was anyone out there as kinky as you,
buy this book, and know you're not alone. It's a survey, not a how-to,
but there's lots of safety information in it anyway. 539 pages! The
more of it I read, the more impressed I've become. There is a
{http://gloria-brame.com/diflove.htm} web page for this book (and for
these authors).

A brief and excellent introduction to safe SM is _The Lesbian S/M Safety
Guide_, edited by Pat Califia and published by Lace Publications (an
imprint of Alyson Publications). There is information in here on
everything from physical safety to emotional issues to negotiating with
bottoms to consensual slave contracts. It's written about lesbians, but
very little of the information is actually gender-specific. Excellent.

Larry Townsend's _The Leatherman's Handbook II_. This is fairly widely
available, and is by all accounts the best resource for gay male SM
information. I personally have never read it, but it's widely known.
(The first edition is still available, but II contains more information
about AIDS and safer sex, so it's probably what you want.)

_On the Safe Edge: A Manual For SM Play,_ by Trevor Jacques, with Dr.
Dale, Michael Hamilton, and Sniffer. ISBN: 1-895857-05-8 (pbk.) This new
book comes recommended by many reputable and knowledgeable people in the
scene. It's a how-to with lots and lots of safety information. To order
directly, call WholeSM Publishing (SAN S1196111) at: (416) 962 1040 or
you can reach the authors at Editor@Alternate.com or through their web
pages at {http://www.alternate.com}.

_Coming to Power_, by SAMOIS, published by Alyson Press. This is a book
about lesbian SM, written by a former Bay Area women's collective. It
has a huge spectrum of pieces from hot fantasy to personal history to
political pronouncement. Very worthwhile for all who are interested in
SM, lesbian or otherwise.

_The Second Coming_, edited by Pat Califia and Robin Sweeney, published
by Alyson Press. HOORAY! This is the 1996 update to _Coming to Power_,
and is must reading if you liked the first book. See how the community
has evolved in twenty years. Get a sense of history. Get a clue. Get
your rocks off. Highly recommended.

Mark Thompson (editor), _Leatherfolk_, Alyson Press. An EXCELLENT
anthology about the SM scene in America, from the 1930s through the
present. Focuses mainly on the gay and lesbian SM communities, but
contains much worthwhile material for anyone interested in any aspects
of SM.

_Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/M Lovemaking_, by
Race Bannon, Daedalus Publishing Co., 4470-107 Sunset Blvd., Suite 375,
Los Angeles, CA 90027. Available by mail from the publisher @ $12.95 +
$2.50 s/h (CA residents add 8.25% sales tax). Race is a well- known
figure in the SM scene, and by all accounts this book is quite
comprehensive, describing all aspects of safe SM from the physical to
the spiritual. If you liked this FAQ, I'd guess you'd like this book.

_SM 101_, published by Jay Wiseman, PO Box 1261, Berkeley, CA 94701.
$19.95 will get you this book, which is one of the most thorough and
in-depth explorations of SM safety and SM practice I have had the
pleasure to read. I would consider this book very valuable for anyone
who is wondering "how do I get started?"--Jay has many relatively
specific examples and tips on how to make your scenes delightful and
memorable. He's an opinionated guy, but then aren't we all?

Jack Morin, _Anal Pleasure and Health_, Down There Press, Burlingame,
CA. This book has the complete lowdown on all aspects of anal
sex--safety, hygiene, emotional issues, you name it. Extremely valuable
information, well presented.

Robert J. Stoller, _Pain and passion: a psychoanalyst explores the world
of S&M,_ 1991, New York et al.: Plenum, X, 306 pp. ISBN 0-306-43770-8.
I've heard that this book does an excellent job of revisiting (and
refuting) the common Freudian biases against SM, in spite of several
far-from-objective judgmental sections.

Two other psychoanalytic books dealing with SM (neither of which I've
read) are _Dark Eros_ by Thomas Moore and _Masochism_ by Lyn Cowan.

_Sadomasochism in Everyday Life: The Dynamics of Power and
Powerlessness_, Lynn S. Chancer, 1992, publisher momentarily unknown
(but soon to be added), ISBN 0-8135-1808-3. Chancer's book takes a
long, hard look at the many social contexts in which one group
exercises power abusively over another. It's a fascinating perspective
from which to analyze racism, sexism, etc., and there is a fair amount
of material about BDSM in the sense it's been described in this FAQ.

_Ties that Bind: The SM/Leather/Fetish Erotic Style_ by Guy Baldwin,
M.S. Daedalus Publishing Company, Los Angeles, 1993, 244 pages, $14.95.
Baldwin is a therapist who sees many people in the SM community. He has
a unique healer's perspective on many of the emotional and psychological
issues that arise for people in the scene. If you are doing a lot of
thinking about whether SM is right for you, or if you're working on
your SM with your partner and you want another point of view, do
yourself a COLOSSAL favor and buy this book. (You can order it from Mr.
S Leathers, or from QSM.)

_The Sexually Dominant Woman, A Workbook for Nervous Beginners_, by Lady
Green. (Lady Green's book is supposed to be very good for those who
barely know where to begin.)

*Fiction books* Not all of the scenarios in these books are what I would
call consensual SM, but as stated earlier, fantasies are not reality,
and neither are erotic stories. Don't take these books as seriously as
you would the ones above. Hopefully everyone is now thinking, "Well,
duh! Obviously!"

Anne Rice has written a number of books with SM themes. As A. N.
Roquelaure, she released the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy: _The Claiming of
Sleeping Beauty_, _Beauty's Punishment_, and _Beauty's Release_, in
which the hero and heroine are subjected to all kinds of wonderfully
sensual torments. Something for just about everyone. Also widely
available is _Exit to Eden_, under the name Ann Rampling; the first
part of the book is the most SM-y.

Anything written by Pat Califia (_Macho Sluts_, _Doc and Fluff_,
_Sapphistry_, and her new book _Melting Point_). Alyson Publications
(40 Plympton St., Boston, MA 02118, (800) 8-ALYSON) publishes her
stuff. She's very well known in the scene and she is a hot (as in
boiling-glowing-volcanic-nuclear-SUPERHOT) writer. Be warned, though;
_Doc and Fluff_ in particular is not for the faint of heart! If what
you want is SM erotica, _Macho Sluts_ or _Melting Point_ are the ticket.

_Leatherwomen_, edited by Laura Antoniou, Rosebud Press, ISBN
1-563-33095-4. $4.95 at most book stores or direct order from
(800)458-9640. This new paperback is an anthology of S/M fiction by
women. It's very very hot stuff! Some of the fiction in this book
rivals Pat Califia's work, which is high praise indeed. Get it.

_The Slave_, Sara Adamson, Rhinoceros Press, 1994, ISBN 1-56333-173-X. A
surprisingly straightforward look at a woman's search for--and discovery
of--a dream life of servitude. I enjoyed it greatly, and not only was it
hot, it made me think. Recommended. Her earlier book in the trilogy,
_The Marketplace_, is also excellent. And even the final book, _The
Trainer_, is now out! Get 'em while they're hot!

Some guest recommendations:

"_Masochism_ (New York: Zone Books, 1991). This book consists of a
translation of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's _Venus_in_Furs_, prefaced by
a long essay, 'Coldness and Cruelty,' by the French philosopher Gilles
Deleuze. To quote the dust jacket: 'Deleuze's stunning essay is an
attempt to restore to Masoch's work the rigorous and informed
philosophical examination that is due it.'.... I think Deleuze shows
that Masoch has a lot more to say to the BDSM community than Sade does.

"Pleasure and Danger: Exploring Female Sexuality (Carol Vance, ed.) The
Scholar and Feminist Conference at Barnard in 1982 was almost ripped
apart when politically correct feminists tried to suppress feminists who
wanted the freedom to enjoy power exchange. This is a collection of
papers and talks from this watershed of the Woman's Movement.

"S&M: Studies in Sadomasochism (Thomas Weinberg and G.W. Kamel, eds)
This is a collection of essays on the nature, origin and development of
what they call sadomasochism. Some are decent; some have points of
interest; a number are so far off the mark as to be laughable.

"A Taste for Pain: On Masochism and Female Sexuality (Maria Marcus) The
author, a self-admitted masochist, explores the existing literature on
sadomasochism from a very personal, insightful point of view."

Three sources for people who are into spanking in particular:

CF Publications, PO Box 713, E Setauket, NY 11733. Newsletters, stories,
fiction.

CD Publishing Corp., 213 Valley St, Ste 228, South Orange, NJ 07079.
Information, newsletters, personal ads.

Shadow Lane, PO Box 1910, Studio City, CA. One of the best, with lots of
materials, videos, et al.

*Videos* _Safe, Sane, Consensual SM_ is a documentary consisting of
interviews with 20 experienced SM players, discussing their experiences
and viewpoints. I know several of the people interviewed, and what they
have to say is very worth hearing. $49.95 + $5 S&H; California residents
add applicable sales tax. You must state that you are over 21. B&D Video
Production and Distribution Company, 2215-R Market Street #214, San
Francisco, CA 94114, (415) 863-0199 (call for quantity discounts).

Jay Edwards Collection/Close-Up Productions/John Floyd Productions, P.O.
Box 691658, Los Angeles, CA 90069. These companies release various
heterosexual bondage videos, mostly with women as the bottoms. Very
popular.

_Learning the Ropes,_ Ona Zee Productions, P.O. Box 9951, Marina Del
Rey, CA 90295. Ona and her husband Frank have put together seven (going
on eight) instructional videos about BDSM, on topics from bondage to
dildoes to whips and hot wax. I've heard they're very worth getting.

I hear that the following vids are useful for learning Japanese rope
bondage as a martial arts form:  Hojo jitsu Volume I, Don Angier, 60
minutes, VHS color, $39.95 + $7 S&H.  Hojo jitsu, Volume II (Same
price).  From Bugei Trading Company, "All things samurai", 1070
Commerce St. Suite I, San Marcos, CA 92069-2626, 1-800-437-0125.

*Magazines* _Sandmutopian Guardian_. A very good how-to magazine,
focusing on the basics of SM play (lots of reader articles and B&W
pictures), with lots of listings of clubs around the US. Get all the
back issues you possibly can. Five-issue subscriptions are $29 in the US
and $39 elsewhere. Sandmutopian Guardian, c/o The Utopian Network; PO
Box 1146; NY NY 10156 or call (516) 842-1711 11am-9pm M-F. Or, check out
{http://catalog.com/utopian} the web page.

_Skin Two_, Freepost, 23 Grand Union Centre, Kensal Rd, London W10 5BR.
A VERY classy magazine, all glossy with excellent articles and photos,
with lots of emphasis on latex but good material for anyone into SM, as
well as a HUGE section of magazine, book, and store listings in the back
of every issue. They take credit card orders at 081 968 9692. Highly
recommended. Check out their {http://www.skintwo.co.uk/} web site!

Carter Stevens publishes a variety of SM magazines and videos. Check out
his web page at www.smnews.com.

_Body Play and Modern Primitives Quarterly_, Insight Books, P.O. Box
2575, Menlo Park, CA 94026-2575. This magazine, published and edited by
the celebrated Fakir Musafar, has monthly articles on subjects from
corseting and waist training to tattoos, piercings, and intense SM
practices. Very well produced. Subs are $45/4 issues.

_Bad Attitude_, P.O. Box 39110, Cambridge, MA 02139. Bigger than _Brat
Attack_, and mostly fiction, again by SM dykes. Some very strong and
gripping stuff. $24/6 issues.

_Black Leather In Color_ is a zine for people of color into SM. It's
published a the BLIC collective, who can be reached at BLIC, 874
Broadway, Suite 808, New York, NY 10003

_Secret_ Magazine is a great fetish mag. Check out their website at
{http://www.secretmag.com} www.secretmag.com.

BOUDOIR NOIR, non-fiction Leather-Fetish- Consensual SM Magazine. Box 5,
Stn. F, Toronto, Ontario M4Y 2L4. Ph. (416) 591-2387; Fax (416)
591-1572; E-mail boudoir@asgo.net. Sample $10. Subscription $24 ($50
outside North America); $6.95 at newsstand. Member Canadian Magazine
Publishers Association. World Wide Web site at
{http://boudoir-noir.com}.

The following three magazines seem to be defunct but are included out of
historical interest (and hope of future revival):

_Brat Attack_, P.O. Box 40754, San Francisco, ,CA 94140-0754. A magazine
by SM dykes, and mostly for SM dykes, though the writing is smart and
funny no matter what your crotch looks like. Subs are 10 bucks/3 issues.

_Frighten the Horses_, Heat Seeking Publishing, 41 Sutter St. #1108, San
Francisco, CA 94104. FtH has only gotten bigger and more interesting
with every issue; each has a good balance of non-fiction (quite often
actively political) pieces, sexy fiction for ALL kinds of tastes, and
news and reviews of the sexual revolution. Subs are $16/4 issues.
Unfortunately spotty publication record recently.

_Venus Infers_, 2215-R Market Street, Suite 294, San Francisco, CA
94114. $8/issue. This is a new, smart, hot S/M magazine by lesbians for
(mostly) lesbians. It's got art, it's got writing, it's got good
design. It's got what it takes. Recommended.

*Organizations* First of all, people who read s.s.b-b or other SM
mailing lists often form social groups in local areas. Sometimes these
groups have meetings which are open to anyone who wants to swing by. The
best way to find out about these is to post to s.s.b-b (see question 31
if need be) and ask whether there's one in your area.

Science fiction cons also often have play parties, which are usually
announced on the net beforehand, and sometimes discreetly advertised at
the con. This is another reasonable way to meet people in the scene.

There are various regional organizations which continually fluctuate.
Look in the back of the _Sandmutopia Guardian_ or _Skin Two_; they
generally include a list in every issue. And look up your local adult
toy store or leather store; they may have leads on any SM groups near
you. Look around--there are lots of people out there who like this
stuff! Here are some of the best-known and most-established SM
organizations:

QSM, PO Box 880154, SF CA 94188, 415 550-776 (phones staffed
Monday-Friday 11 AM to 5 PM Pacific time). QSM is the best organization
in the world for learning about SM. QSM holds many different classes
and workshops on all aspects of SM. Write to them to get on their
mailing list or to preregister for classes--they also have an extensive
list of books and magazines available by mail order (all the books and
magazines listed above, and then some. Yes, they have a
{http://www.qualitysm.com} web page! Also an email address:
info@qualitysm.com.

The Southbay Leather and Uniform Group (SLUG) is an omnisexual club
whose purpose is to promote educational, social, and charitable
activities among people with an interest in Levis, leather, and
uniforms--and all that usually goes with them! The address is SLUG,
Billy De Frank Center, 175 Stockton Avenue, San Jose, CA 95126, (408)
929-SLUG.

The Eulenspiegel Society, PO Box 2783, Grand Central Station, New York,
NY 10163-2783, 212-388-7022, TES@dorsai.org. A long-running club for
SMers on the right coast. Well known. They put out a quarterly 64-page
newsletter. Weekly meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday. Web page:
{http://www.tes.org}.

The Society of Janus, PO Box 426794, San Francisco, CA 94142,
{http://www.soj.org} www.soj.org. Organization in the SF Bay Area, open
to all genders and persuasions. Janus is a very safe organization for
novices to join. They are aware of anonymity issues, and hold a variety
of workshops and social events, as well as publish a monthly newsletter.

Threshold, 2554 Lincoln Blvd, Suite 381, Marina Del Rey, CA 90291. This
LA-area group is the best-known pansexual SM organization in Southern
California, and holds a variety of events from educational to social to
political. (I do not have a current phone number or email address for
them; can anyone help me out?)

BackDrop Club,PO Box 390486, Mountain View, CA 94039-0486. Office:
415-965-4499, BBS: 415-964-3100, FAX: 415-964-3879. A 4,000-member
club, with their own large clubhouse, BBS, and reference library. They
say they are open to people of all sexes and sexualities who share an
interest in SM; play parties, social events, support and discussion all
take place through BackDrop.

The Black Rose, in the Washington DC area. (301) 369-7667 (voicemail
number with address information). A pansexual SM support group with
meetings every Tuesday night. They hold a social event once a month,
open to those who've attended at least two weekly meetings. There are
also subgroups (one is women-only).

Chicagoland Discussion Group, 3023 N. Clark St #806, Chicago, IL
60657-5205, 24-hour info-line 312-281-1097. A pansexual SM/fetish
group, with events, a newsletter, parties, and outreach. A wide variety
of interests are represented.

LUXURIA, PO BOX 53063, Ottawa, ON, K1N 1C5; (613)567-9033. A
pan-sexual-orientation & kink group whose main focus is networking and
info exchange. There's a magazine, phone line, and BBS echo dedicated
to it.

APEX, the Arizona Power Exchange, 5821 North 67th Avenue, Suite 103-276,
Glendale, Arizona 85301. We are a pansexual, panfetish support and
social group, for people with dominant/submissive desires, treating the
S/M, B&D and fetish experience with acceptance, respect and dignity.
For meeting locations, please call (602) 906-0851.

The National Leather Association, Seattle, WA. A nationwide group open
to everyone into leather/SM. I have no more current contact info for how
to reach them, though--can anyone help?

San Francisco Sex Information, (415) 989-7374, {http://www.sfsi.org/}
www.sfsi.org. SFSI is a volunteer information and referral service for
all aspects of human sexuality-- SM included! If you have a question
about some scene you've done or are considering doing, and you want to
talk to someone who can answer your questions anonymously and
nonjudgmentally, give them a call! The lines are open 3 to 9 p.m.
Pacific time, Monday through Friday, and from 3 to 9 most Sundays as
well.

Atlanta S/M Solidarity, P.O. Box 8361, Atlanta, GA 31106. A Georgia
group of SM enthusiasts, with workshops, socials, etc.

The New Mexico Grant County Power Exchange Group:
{http://www.powerandlove.com/power/gpeg/} G-PEG.

The Phoenix Society, 1131 S. Clinton St., Baltimore, MD 21224,
410/385-3369, A Pansexual support, education and social group for
consenting adults interested in dominance and submission. Meetings are
held every Friday and feature discussions and demonstrations tailored
to entertain and inform people at all levels of experience; members and
guests are encouraged to socialize, enjoy themselves and take advantage
of playroom equipment; all play at meetings is nonsexual and all
information about members and guests is kept strictly confidential. For
a schedule of events and directions, call, or check out the web site at
{http://www.bold.ly.com/phoenix}.

*Mail-order houses* Most of these places require you to state that
you're 21 or over when ordering. (This list in particular could use all
the expansion it can get, since I know little about toy stores outside
the SF Bay Area. Send me your favorite local shops' addresses, and I'll
put 'em in here!)

The best stores list I know of is
{http://login.dknet.dk/~pg/fetish/FAQ/} the alt.sex.fetish.fashion FAQ
list. Yes, it's mostly for kinky clothes, but there is a LOT of SM
material in there, too.

As I mentioned above, QSM does mail-order of books and magazines.

Good Vibrations, 1210 Valencia, San Francisco, CA 94110, (800) BUY-VIBE
(289-9423), goodvibes@well.com, {http://www.goodvibes.com}
www.goodvibes.com (yes, they are on the Internet!). An excellent
non-sleazy erotica store, woman-owned, with lots of good books and
magazines about sex and a nice selection of basic sex toys. If you want
to order any of the books in this FAQ, you could likely get them from
here--and if not from here, from QSM. Not an SM store, but a good one
nonetheless. Send them $5 for first-class-mailed catalogs of their
books and toys.

Adam and Gillian's Sensual Whips and Toys - Serving the SM community
since 1987 Adam and Gillian produce quality whips at reasonable prices.
For a catalog send $3.00 to AGSWT c/o The Utopian Network; PO Box 1146;
NY NY 10156, credit card by phone at (516) 842-1711 11am-9pm ET or FAX
24 hours at (516) 842-7518. Alternatively, check out the
{http://catalog.com/utopian} web page and on-line graphic catalog.

Mr. S. Leather Co. & Fetters USA, 310 7th St., San Francisco, CA 94103,
(415) 863-7764, (415) 863-7798 (fax);
{http://www.dnai.com/sex-bondage/}. Possibly the best-stocked store for
SM equipment in the world. Lots and lots of really well-made bondage
gear, including metal shackles and leather straightjackets, and a HUGE
handcuff selection, not to mention amazing amounts of leather and
rubber clothing. They have just completed "The New 1996 Mr. S. Leather
and Fetters Catalog", a 208-page gorgeously-photographed catalog with
over 1000 photos, and two thousand items; it's available for $20.00 in
the U.S.A., $30.00 foreign.

Leather Masters, 969 Park Avenue, San Jose, CA 95126, (408) 293-7660.
Leather Masters is a toy store featuring custom leather, cleaning and
alterations, novelties and cards, body piercing, B&D equipment, videos,
and latex. Mail order catalog and newsletter are available.

Northbound Leather, 19 St. Nicholas St., Toronto, Ontario M4Y 1W5. +1
416 972-1037, +1 416-975-1337 (fax); {http://www.northbound.com/}. This
is an up-and-coming leather store with an excellent reputation for
quality and for unusual latex and leather goods. Two *very* nice
catalogues (one clothing, one toys) at $10 each, applicable towards
purchase. Both catalogs and ordering info are on-line. Fit guaranteed
for mail order if their (very detailed) measurement instructions are
followed.

Strangeblades & More, 54 Hazard Avenue #175, Enfield, CT 06082,
860-741-2965, sblades@sblades.com. Designers and crafters of metal
fashions and accessories. Color "Chainmail & More" catalog available
for $3 and 18+ age statement. Their entire catalog is located online at
{http://www.sblades.com/}.

M.B. Productions - Fetish Clothing, Bondage Gear, Dungeon Equipment, and
Adult Toys.  {http://www.mbpro.com}.

House of Whacks, Chicago, IL, (773) 761-6969, fax (312) 761-4375.
Specializes in latex clothing, may sell some toys. Also sells high-end
magazines and catalogs, including a fancy and expensive one of its own.
Sponsors periodic social gatherings.

Male Hide Leathers, 2816 N. Lincoln Ave., Chicago, IL 60657, (773)
929-0069. Primarily gay male-oriented shop, sells stuff of general gay
interest as well as bdsm interest (clothing, toys). Don't know if they
do mail orders.

Black Market Chicago, 1116 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago 60622, (773)
278-6780. BDSM apparel, equipment, toys, and books. Sponsors periodic
bondage nights at a local bar.

Taboo Tabou (or it is the other way around? :-) ), 856 W. Belmont Ave.,
Chicago 60657, (773) SAFE-SEX (or its digital equivalent). Erotic
lingerie, BDSM apparel and equipment, other toys, and a wide selection
of condoms.

Paul C. Leather, 2421 W. Pratt Ave., Suite 959, Chicago 60645, (800)
FETISH-0 (or numerical equivalent). Leather BDSM wear by catalog order;
showroom by appointment only. Their email address is FetishO@aol.com.

Pleasure Chest, 3155 N. Broadway, Chicago 60657, (773) 525-7151.
General-purpose sex shop with a good selection of BDSM apparel and
tools.

Slimwear of America, P.O. Box 997, Eastsound, WA 98245, (206)376-5213
(machine), (206)376-5231 (fax). A widely-known supplier of rubber-wear
and assorted latexery. Clothes catalog $17.50, hood/gag listing $6.00,
both $22.00 postpaid.

Heartwood Whips of Passion, 412 N. Coast Hwy. #210, Laguna Beach, CA
92651. Some of the best leather whips and floggers to be found,
anywhere. Jeanne's whips are works of art, whether they're being used
or not.

Bondage, James Bondage, Inc. 7926 Woodvale Cir., Tampa, FL 33615, (813)
443-3658. Purveyors of assorted bondage gear, videos, and magazines, I
believe.

If you're looking for leather in upstate New York, look up Savage Gifts
& Leather. The owner's name is Ken Savage and the shop is at 88 Central
Ave., Albany NY 12210. His phone number is (518) 434-2324. He will
custom make any leather apparel/gear you can dream up and he's helped
me design some custom harnesses. His shop is open every day (except
Sunday) from noon til 8pm EST, 11pm on weekends. He also does area
shows and welcomes mail orders.

JT Toys, Inc., (800) 755-TOYS, jttoys@world.std.com. JT (Joel Tucker by
name) has an excellent selection of quality SM equipment and prices
lower than any. Plus he's a great guy to do business with. Their new web
site is at {http://www.stockroom.com}.

Cecilia Tan, a long-time presence on s.s.b-b, now has a business:
Circlet Press Mail Order Books, P.O. Box 15143, Boston, MA 02215. She
says they carry all manner of kinky and erotic fiction and nonfiction,
specializing in leather/fetishes/SM. A catalog is free with a 29-cent
SASE or by email (she's ctan@world.std.com).

Constance Enterprises Ltd., PO Box 43079, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043.
Also Dressing for Pleasure, 590 Valley Road, Upper Montclair, NJ, (201)
746-5466. An upscale business, selling fashions and toys for people into
BDSM.

Il Bolero, 6846-6842 St-Hubert St., Montreal, Quebec, Canada H2S 2M6,
(514) 270-6065. Don't know much about this store except that it's got a
lot of Northbound Leather's stuff.

Bon-Vue Enterprise, Inc., owned and operated by Bill and Debbie Majors
(who sometimes post to s.s.b-b), produces B&D videos, magazines, comics,
art portfolios, pocket books, and other products; most of their stuff is
male dom/female sub. They also operate the Hedonism BBS at (310)
631-7697. A catalog is $5.00 and can be obtained from: Bon-Vue
Enterprises, Inc., P.O. Box 92889, Long Beach, CA 90803. They offer a
total satisfaction guarantee policy that is "unique in the adult
industry". Phone: (310) 631-1600.

BR Creations in Mountain View makes custom-made corsets--P.O. Box 4201,
Mountain View, CA 94040, catalog $5. Excellent quality.

Mark I. Chester makes spandex body bags and hoods; he's at P. O. Box
42501, SF, CA 94101, (415) 621-6294.

For a sharp touch, get some Vampire Gloves from Leonard at Lucifer's
Armory. Contact ixion@dorsai.org, Box 808, 874 Broadway, New York, NY
10003.

ASLAN LEATHER by Carrie, 363 Sorauren Ave. Box 58, Toronto, Ontario,
Canada M6R 2G5, (416) 538-9759. Carrie makes non-leather bondage
equipment, for vegans who eschew animal products in their toys. (She
also makes leather stuff for the rest of us.)

I'm told that you can call (800) 305-5525 for a catalog of modern
chastity belts.

The classic magazines of "love bondage" (i.e. pretty women posing in
lingerie and bondage) are available from Harmony Concepts, Box 69976,
Los Angeles, CA 90069.

A wide variety of sexy spandex bondage gear is available from Noelle
Nielson Softwear, Box 69826, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Write for
information.

Here's a rather hot ad I recently received: "JG Leathers is a
manufacturer of custom, specialized, leather and rubber discipline
harnesses. Types include pony- girl or pony-boy full-body harnesses,
with separate bridle and bit, cow-girl or cow-boy milking discipline
harnesses. All harnesses designed and manufactured to be
suspension-capable, and when used in conjunction with speciallY
modified gas masks can also be used for sensory-deprivation, breathe
control, and electrical 'aversion therapy' techniques. Standard toys
are also made to the customer's specifications. Catalogue costs $5.00
usd/$6.50 cad. The address is JG Leathers, 5324 10A Avenue, Delta,
B.C., Canada V4M 1Y6."

The Naughty Victorian (2315-B Forest Drive, Suite 68, Annapolis, MD
21401; Tel.: 1-800-778-7428; Fax: 410-626-1879). Offering "the finest
body of literature, clothing, implements and accessories" for "the
practice of adult domestic discipline." Catalog available for $5.

For those who enjoy making their own toys, I'm told that a great source
for leather hides and tools is the M. Siegel Company, Inc., 120 Pond
Street (Route 126), Ashland, MA 01721. Phone (508)881-5200,
fax(508)881-5203, orders only (800)932-8956. They keep odd hours and
have certain minimum-order sizes, so call first.

If you're in San Francisco, stop by Stormy Leather, 1158 Howard St., San
Francisco, CA 94103, (415) 626-1672, {http://www.stormyleather.com}
www.stormyleather.com. A woman-owned store with an excellent selection
of sexy leather and latex clothes, good basic bondage gear, and a
wonderful magazine and book section. They cater to both men and women,
so they'll have toys to fit you; they also do custom orders. They have
unfortunately stopped doing mail orders.

Another great San Francisco store is Romantasy, which has a
{http://www.romantasy.com} web page; seek more info there.

Previous section Created 10 August 1995, last updated 3 April 1999
=======================================================================
Thanks for reading!
Hope you learned something! Remember, your sexuality is wonderful;
treasure it and nourish it!

Created 10 August 1995, last updated 2 15 Dec 1999, and copyright
{http://www.unrealities.com/adult/copyrite.htm} by Johnson Grey
{johnson_grey@unrealities.com}.

User Contributions:

Comment about this article, ask questions, or add new information about this topic:

CAPTCHA




Part0 - Part1 - Part2 - Part3 - Part4 - Part5 - Part6

[ Usenet FAQs | Web FAQs | Documents | RFC Index ]

Send corrections/additions to the FAQ Maintainer:
-^-^spectrum-^^- <spectrum@magenta.com>





Last Update March 27 2014 @ 02:12 PM