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The soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm FAQ List
Where the kinky knowledge resides! Part 7 of 7 See reader questions & answers on this topic! - Help others by sharing your knowledge This list is posted semi-monthly, on or around the 1st and 15th. Please send additions, suggestions, etc. to johnson_grey@unrealities.com If this posting appears truncated or damaged, contact me, also. The World Wide Web version of this FAQ (which is the prime copy) is at: http://www.unrealities.com/adult/ssbb/faq.htm Please make links to that page, rather than posting separate Web copies of the text of this FAQ. This FAQ list is copyrighted. The full copyright notice appears at the end of each part of the list; please respect it. *The FAQs Themselves* PART 1: 1. What do B&D, S&M, D&S, "top", "bottom" mean? 2. What is a "scene", and what is "negotiation"? 3. What is a "safeword"? 4. When is pain not pain? 5. What are some basics of safe SM, emotionally and physically? PART 2: 6. Is everyone either a top or a bottom? What's a "switch"? 7. How can I learn to be a good top? 8. How can I learn to be a good bottom? 9. Is BDSM sexual? 10. Why is bondage fun? 11. Why is whipping fun? PART 3: 12. What is body piercing? What is "C&B" play, or "genitorture"? 13. What is cutting/play piercing/burning/branding/electrical play? What are "bloodsports"? 14. What is it about breath control? Is it safe to make someone pass out? 15. What are "golden showers"? How about "scat"? 16. Is anal sex safe? Why do people do it? 17. What is "fisting"? PART 4: 18. Does the way I play qualify as "real" SM? What is "real" SM, anyway? 19. What is it about leather/latex/high heels/corsets/other fetishes? 20. What about shaving body hair and/or crossdressing? 21. Why am I defending SM? 22. Is SM degrading or abusive? Were most SM people abused? PART 5: 23. Why is SM taboo, and is SM criminal, unnatural, immoral, unethical, or unhealthy? 24. Isn't the bottom always in control? 25. Can someone _really_ be someone else's slave? 26. What are the "codes"? 27. My fantasies scare me. What if I get too into SM? PART 6: 28. I want to throw a play party; how do I go about it? 29. I want to attend a play party; what is the etiquette? 30. What's the deal with this anonymity stuff? 31. Are SM people being politically and socially harassed? 32. What topics are or aren't acceptable on s.s.b-b? (including, what's s.s.b-b's charter?) 33. I'm sick of certain topics on s.s.b-b. How can I avoid them? Also, what's with all these ads? 34. OK, so I can't post ads to s.s.b-b. Where CAN I post them? 35. I don't have access to soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm; what can I do to get information about the scene? PART 7: 36. What are some websites/books/magazines/organizations/stores/news archives where I can get SM information or toys, or meet people in the scene? ======================================================================= *36. What are some web sites/books/magazines/organizations/stores/news archives where I can get SM information or toys, or meet people in the scene?* Well, time does take its toll on the kinky businesses of the world. This list was always abbreviated but lately it has become badly outdated. So I'll no longer claim this is anything other than just one starting point for y'all.. Here's what's here: 1. Web sites and newsgroups 2. Nonfiction books 3. Fiction books 4. Videos 5. Magazines 6. Organizations 7. Mail-order houses *Web sites and newsgroups* Many of the books and stores I list also have web sites; I include those URLs in the book/store listings themselves. *But first, a Must See Site:* {http://www.houseofgord.com} www.houseofgord.com is the best ultrabondage site on the Net, IMNSHAAO. Yahoo has a {http://www.yahoo.com/Society_and_Culture/Sexuality/BDSM/} BDSM page! This is one handy place to start browsing, all right! I'm very happy this page exists; my kudos to Yahoo for having the guts to host it. Another large-scale survey site is {http://bdsm.miningco.com} the Mining Co.'s site on BDSM. The Society for Human Sexuality at the University of Washington has a web page at {http://www.sexuality.org/}; it contains a Guide to Safer Sex as well as a basic how-to of flogging. There are also various BDSM community web sites: o {http://www.cuffs.com/} D/S Kiosk is a damn fine site if you are into IRC (Internet Relay Chat) at all; this is where many IRC BDSMers coordinate their nefarious exploits. o Steven S. Davis's {http://www.magenta.com/~sd/sd.html} LMNOP Page is worthwhile if you're interested in more from one of soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm's most prolific and worthwhile posters--and {http://www.magenta.com/~sd/sources.html} the resource list there is rather better updated than this! o The {http://www.alternate.com} Alternate Sources page looks like a pretty wide-ranging resource list in itself. These sites have PLENTY of hotlist links and should serve as fine starting points for your kinky netsurfing. An indispensable reference for any kinky person is the {http://www.bannon.com/kap} Kink Aware Professionals list. Looking for a doctor or a therapist who understands what makes you tick? Look no further! (Or at least, start with that list!) Elf Sternberg hosts the alt.sex FAQ list; see {http://www.halcyon.com/elf/index.html} his homepage for details. Trevor Jacques has a nice SM site up: {http://SaferSM.org/SaferSM.html}. An interesting document on spiritual/magical submission is the {http://php.indiana.edu/~csluder/spiritual-submission.faq.txt} "Spiritual BDSM FAQ". A very opinionated page is the {http://gloria-brame.com/subbook.htm} Submissive Women Speak page. Definitely thought-provoking stuff. Two of the best-known posters to s.s.b-b in days gone by were Rosie Marquez and Laylah Martelli. There are mirrors of their postings at {http://www.xs4all.nl/~wijnands/rosie/rosie.htm} and {http://www.xs4all.nl/~wijnands/laylah/laylah.html}. Other newsgroups that are in some ways related to s.s.b-b are alt.sex.spanking (for folks who are into that in particular), alt.sex.fetish.fashion (for lovers of sexy clothes), alt.sex.stories (often there are SM-related stories posted there), alt.sex.stories.bondage (sometimes there are some here too), alt.sex.femdom (for stories and discussion about female dominance), and so forth And don't forget alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.bondage, alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.latex, or alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fetish.leather! Note for posterity: I actually created alt.sex.stories.bondage and all three of the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica groups I mention above, and to date I've downloaded well over 500 stories and 10,000 pictures from the groups! Ain't the Internet an amazing place? If you build it, they will come... and come, and come again :-) The {http://www.mcsp.com/smcop/welcome.html} SM Community Outreach Project site has apparently not been updated in a year or so (as of spring 1999), but I'm hardly about to criticize them for that given how long it's been since I updated this FAQ! Still some useful reference info here. Another valuable activist link seems to be the {http://members.aol.com/NOWSM/Home.html} S/M Policy Reform Project which is dedicated to revamping the NOW's policy on SM. If you want to start negotiating with someone new about what kinds of things you each would and wouldn't enjoy doing, {http://ms.ha.md.us/~tammad/over21/bondage/sub-checklist.html} here's a great checklist for starting things off! And if you want inspiration about where to get SM toys on the cheap, check out this list! Jay Wiseman, author of SM 101 (see the Books section), has an {http://members.aol.com/oldrope/} online resource list of his own. Some of my other fave bondage and fetish sites: o Devonshire Productions o {http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/4477/} Liquidsmooth *Nonfiction books* If you liked this FAQ, you will very likely enjoy these books. These describe consensual SM as I have been using the term in this FAQ, and are all excellent resources for learning.) Pat Califia, _Sensuous Magic_ (New York, Masquerade Books, 1993). ISBN 1-56333-131-4, softcover. Pat Califia is a legendary writer about SM behavior and SM fantasy. This is her latest book and I recommend it unhesitatingly. If you are into SM, you will learn from this book; and if you liked this FAQ but want more details, this is THE BOOK for you. Order it from Good Vibrations (see the store list below). _Different Loving_, by Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame, and Jon Jacobs (Villard Books, New York, 1993, ISBN 0-679-40873-8), is a thorough, non-judgmental work describing all aspects of SM sexuality. There are hundreds of interviews and lots and lots of accurate information. If you ever wondered whether there was anyone out there as kinky as you, buy this book, and know you're not alone. It's a survey, not a how-to, but there's lots of safety information in it anyway. 539 pages! The more of it I read, the more impressed I've become. There is a {http://gloria-brame.com/diflove.htm} web page for this book (and for these authors). A brief and excellent introduction to safe SM is _The Lesbian S/M Safety Guide_, edited by Pat Califia and published by Lace Publications (an imprint of Alyson Publications). There is information in here on everything from physical safety to emotional issues to negotiating with bottoms to consensual slave contracts. It's written about lesbians, but very little of the information is actually gender-specific. Excellent. Larry Townsend's _The Leatherman's Handbook II_. This is fairly widely available, and is by all accounts the best resource for gay male SM information. I personally have never read it, but it's widely known. (The first edition is still available, but II contains more information about AIDS and safer sex, so it's probably what you want.) _On the Safe Edge: A Manual For SM Play,_ by Trevor Jacques, with Dr. Dale, Michael Hamilton, and Sniffer. ISBN: 1-895857-05-8 (pbk.) This new book comes recommended by many reputable and knowledgeable people in the scene. It's a how-to with lots and lots of safety information. To order directly, call WholeSM Publishing (SAN S1196111) at: (416) 962 1040 or you can reach the authors at Editor@Alternate.com or through their web pages at {http://www.alternate.com}. _Coming to Power_, by SAMOIS, published by Alyson Press. This is a book about lesbian SM, written by a former Bay Area women's collective. It has a huge spectrum of pieces from hot fantasy to personal history to political pronouncement. Very worthwhile for all who are interested in SM, lesbian or otherwise. _The Second Coming_, edited by Pat Califia and Robin Sweeney, published by Alyson Press. HOORAY! This is the 1996 update to _Coming to Power_, and is must reading if you liked the first book. See how the community has evolved in twenty years. Get a sense of history. Get a clue. Get your rocks off. Highly recommended. Mark Thompson (editor), _Leatherfolk_, Alyson Press. An EXCELLENT anthology about the SM scene in America, from the 1930s through the present. Focuses mainly on the gay and lesbian SM communities, but contains much worthwhile material for anyone interested in any aspects of SM. _Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/M Lovemaking_, by Race Bannon, Daedalus Publishing Co., 4470-107 Sunset Blvd., Suite 375, Los Angeles, CA 90027. Available by mail from the publisher @ $12.95 + $2.50 s/h (CA residents add 8.25% sales tax). Race is a well- known figure in the SM scene, and by all accounts this book is quite comprehensive, describing all aspects of safe SM from the physical to the spiritual. If you liked this FAQ, I'd guess you'd like this book. _SM 101_, published by Jay Wiseman, PO Box 1261, Berkeley, CA 94701. $19.95 will get you this book, which is one of the most thorough and in-depth explorations of SM safety and SM practice I have had the pleasure to read. I would consider this book very valuable for anyone who is wondering "how do I get started?"--Jay has many relatively specific examples and tips on how to make your scenes delightful and memorable. He's an opinionated guy, but then aren't we all? Jack Morin, _Anal Pleasure and Health_, Down There Press, Burlingame, CA. This book has the complete lowdown on all aspects of anal sex--safety, hygiene, emotional issues, you name it. Extremely valuable information, well presented. Robert J. Stoller, _Pain and passion: a psychoanalyst explores the world of S&M,_ 1991, New York et al.: Plenum, X, 306 pp. ISBN 0-306-43770-8. I've heard that this book does an excellent job of revisiting (and refuting) the common Freudian biases against SM, in spite of several far-from-objective judgmental sections. Two other psychoanalytic books dealing with SM (neither of which I've read) are _Dark Eros_ by Thomas Moore and _Masochism_ by Lyn Cowan. _Sadomasochism in Everyday Life: The Dynamics of Power and Powerlessness_, Lynn S. Chancer, 1992, publisher momentarily unknown (but soon to be added), ISBN 0-8135-1808-3. Chancer's book takes a long, hard look at the many social contexts in which one group exercises power abusively over another. It's a fascinating perspective from which to analyze racism, sexism, etc., and there is a fair amount of material about BDSM in the sense it's been described in this FAQ. _Ties that Bind: The SM/Leather/Fetish Erotic Style_ by Guy Baldwin, M.S. Daedalus Publishing Company, Los Angeles, 1993, 244 pages, $14.95. Baldwin is a therapist who sees many people in the SM community. He has a unique healer's perspective on many of the emotional and psychological issues that arise for people in the scene. If you are doing a lot of thinking about whether SM is right for you, or if you're working on your SM with your partner and you want another point of view, do yourself a COLOSSAL favor and buy this book. (You can order it from Mr. S Leathers, or from QSM.) _The Sexually Dominant Woman, A Workbook for Nervous Beginners_, by Lady Green. (Lady Green's book is supposed to be very good for those who barely know where to begin.) *Fiction books* Not all of the scenarios in these books are what I would call consensual SM, but as stated earlier, fantasies are not reality, and neither are erotic stories. Don't take these books as seriously as you would the ones above. Hopefully everyone is now thinking, "Well, duh! Obviously!" Anne Rice has written a number of books with SM themes. As A. N. Roquelaure, she released the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy: _The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty_, _Beauty's Punishment_, and _Beauty's Release_, in which the hero and heroine are subjected to all kinds of wonderfully sensual torments. Something for just about everyone. Also widely available is _Exit to Eden_, under the name Ann Rampling; the first part of the book is the most SM-y. Anything written by Pat Califia (_Macho Sluts_, _Doc and Fluff_, _Sapphistry_, and her new book _Melting Point_). Alyson Publications (40 Plympton St., Boston, MA 02118, (800) 8-ALYSON) publishes her stuff. She's very well known in the scene and she is a hot (as in boiling-glowing-volcanic-nuclear-SUPERHOT) writer. Be warned, though; _Doc and Fluff_ in particular is not for the faint of heart! If what you want is SM erotica, _Macho Sluts_ or _Melting Point_ are the ticket. _Leatherwomen_, edited by Laura Antoniou, Rosebud Press, ISBN 1-563-33095-4. $4.95 at most book stores or direct order from (800)458-9640. This new paperback is an anthology of S/M fiction by women. It's very very hot stuff! Some of the fiction in this book rivals Pat Califia's work, which is high praise indeed. Get it. _The Slave_, Sara Adamson, Rhinoceros Press, 1994, ISBN 1-56333-173-X. A surprisingly straightforward look at a woman's search for--and discovery of--a dream life of servitude. I enjoyed it greatly, and not only was it hot, it made me think. Recommended. Her earlier book in the trilogy, _The Marketplace_, is also excellent. And even the final book, _The Trainer_, is now out! Get 'em while they're hot! Some guest recommendations: "_Masochism_ (New York: Zone Books, 1991). This book consists of a translation of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's _Venus_in_Furs_, prefaced by a long essay, 'Coldness and Cruelty,' by the French philosopher Gilles Deleuze. To quote the dust jacket: 'Deleuze's stunning essay is an attempt to restore to Masoch's work the rigorous and informed philosophical examination that is due it.'.... I think Deleuze shows that Masoch has a lot more to say to the BDSM community than Sade does. "Pleasure and Danger: Exploring Female Sexuality (Carol Vance, ed.) The Scholar and Feminist Conference at Barnard in 1982 was almost ripped apart when politically correct feminists tried to suppress feminists who wanted the freedom to enjoy power exchange. This is a collection of papers and talks from this watershed of the Woman's Movement. "S&M: Studies in Sadomasochism (Thomas Weinberg and G.W. Kamel, eds) This is a collection of essays on the nature, origin and development of what they call sadomasochism. Some are decent; some have points of interest; a number are so far off the mark as to be laughable. "A Taste for Pain: On Masochism and Female Sexuality (Maria Marcus) The author, a self-admitted masochist, explores the existing literature on sadomasochism from a very personal, insightful point of view." Three sources for people who are into spanking in particular: CF Publications, PO Box 713, E Setauket, NY 11733. Newsletters, stories, fiction. CD Publishing Corp., 213 Valley St, Ste 228, South Orange, NJ 07079. Information, newsletters, personal ads. Shadow Lane, PO Box 1910, Studio City, CA. One of the best, with lots of materials, videos, et al. *Videos* _Safe, Sane, Consensual SM_ is a documentary consisting of interviews with 20 experienced SM players, discussing their experiences and viewpoints. I know several of the people interviewed, and what they have to say is very worth hearing. $49.95 + $5 S&H; California residents add applicable sales tax. You must state that you are over 21. B&D Video Production and Distribution Company, 2215-R Market Street #214, San Francisco, CA 94114, (415) 863-0199 (call for quantity discounts). Jay Edwards Collection/Close-Up Productions/John Floyd Productions, P.O. Box 691658, Los Angeles, CA 90069. These companies release various heterosexual bondage videos, mostly with women as the bottoms. Very popular. _Learning the Ropes,_ Ona Zee Productions, P.O. Box 9951, Marina Del Rey, CA 90295. Ona and her husband Frank have put together seven (going on eight) instructional videos about BDSM, on topics from bondage to dildoes to whips and hot wax. I've heard they're very worth getting. I hear that the following vids are useful for learning Japanese rope bondage as a martial arts form: Hojo jitsu Volume I, Don Angier, 60 minutes, VHS color, $39.95 + $7 S&H. Hojo jitsu, Volume II (Same price). From Bugei Trading Company, "All things samurai", 1070 Commerce St. Suite I, San Marcos, CA 92069-2626, 1-800-437-0125. *Magazines* _Sandmutopian Guardian_. A very good how-to magazine, focusing on the basics of SM play (lots of reader articles and B&W pictures), with lots of listings of clubs around the US. Get all the back issues you possibly can. Five-issue subscriptions are $29 in the US and $39 elsewhere. Sandmutopian Guardian, c/o The Utopian Network; PO Box 1146; NY NY 10156 or call (516) 842-1711 11am-9pm M-F. Or, check out {http://catalog.com/utopian} the web page. _Skin Two_, Freepost, 23 Grand Union Centre, Kensal Rd, London W10 5BR. A VERY classy magazine, all glossy with excellent articles and photos, with lots of emphasis on latex but good material for anyone into SM, as well as a HUGE section of magazine, book, and store listings in the back of every issue. They take credit card orders at 081 968 9692. Highly recommended. Check out their {http://www.skintwo.co.uk/} web site! Carter Stevens publishes a variety of SM magazines and videos. Check out his web page at www.smnews.com. _Body Play and Modern Primitives Quarterly_, Insight Books, P.O. Box 2575, Menlo Park, CA 94026-2575. This magazine, published and edited by the celebrated Fakir Musafar, has monthly articles on subjects from corseting and waist training to tattoos, piercings, and intense SM practices. Very well produced. Subs are $45/4 issues. _Bad Attitude_, P.O. Box 39110, Cambridge, MA 02139. Bigger than _Brat Attack_, and mostly fiction, again by SM dykes. Some very strong and gripping stuff. $24/6 issues. _Black Leather In Color_ is a zine for people of color into SM. It's published a the BLIC collective, who can be reached at BLIC, 874 Broadway, Suite 808, New York, NY 10003 _Secret_ Magazine is a great fetish mag. Check out their website at {http://www.secretmag.com} www.secretmag.com. BOUDOIR NOIR, non-fiction Leather-Fetish- Consensual SM Magazine. Box 5, Stn. F, Toronto, Ontario M4Y 2L4. Ph. (416) 591-2387; Fax (416) 591-1572; E-mail boudoir@asgo.net. Sample $10. Subscription $24 ($50 outside North America); $6.95 at newsstand. Member Canadian Magazine Publishers Association. World Wide Web site at {http://boudoir-noir.com}. The following three magazines seem to be defunct but are included out of historical interest (and hope of future revival): _Brat Attack_, P.O. Box 40754, San Francisco, ,CA 94140-0754. A magazine by SM dykes, and mostly for SM dykes, though the writing is smart and funny no matter what your crotch looks like. Subs are 10 bucks/3 issues. _Frighten the Horses_, Heat Seeking Publishing, 41 Sutter St. #1108, San Francisco, CA 94104. FtH has only gotten bigger and more interesting with every issue; each has a good balance of non-fiction (quite often actively political) pieces, sexy fiction for ALL kinds of tastes, and news and reviews of the sexual revolution. Subs are $16/4 issues. Unfortunately spotty publication record recently. _Venus Infers_, 2215-R Market Street, Suite 294, San Francisco, CA 94114. $8/issue. This is a new, smart, hot S/M magazine by lesbians for (mostly) lesbians. It's got art, it's got writing, it's got good design. It's got what it takes. Recommended. *Organizations* First of all, people who read s.s.b-b or other SM mailing lists often form social groups in local areas. Sometimes these groups have meetings which are open to anyone who wants to swing by. The best way to find out about these is to post to s.s.b-b (see question 31 if need be) and ask whether there's one in your area. Science fiction cons also often have play parties, which are usually announced on the net beforehand, and sometimes discreetly advertised at the con. This is another reasonable way to meet people in the scene. There are various regional organizations which continually fluctuate. Look in the back of the _Sandmutopia Guardian_ or _Skin Two_; they generally include a list in every issue. And look up your local adult toy store or leather store; they may have leads on any SM groups near you. Look around--there are lots of people out there who like this stuff! Here are some of the best-known and most-established SM organizations: QSM, PO Box 880154, SF CA 94188, 415 550-776 (phones staffed Monday-Friday 11 AM to 5 PM Pacific time). QSM is the best organization in the world for learning about SM. QSM holds many different classes and workshops on all aspects of SM. Write to them to get on their mailing list or to preregister for classes--they also have an extensive list of books and magazines available by mail order (all the books and magazines listed above, and then some. Yes, they have a {http://www.qualitysm.com} web page! Also an email address: info@qualitysm.com. The Southbay Leather and Uniform Group (SLUG) is an omnisexual club whose purpose is to promote educational, social, and charitable activities among people with an interest in Levis, leather, and uniforms--and all that usually goes with them! The address is SLUG, Billy De Frank Center, 175 Stockton Avenue, San Jose, CA 95126, (408) 929-SLUG. The Eulenspiegel Society, PO Box 2783, Grand Central Station, New York, NY 10163-2783, 212-388-7022, TES@dorsai.org. A long-running club for SMers on the right coast. Well known. They put out a quarterly 64-page newsletter. Weekly meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday. Web page: {http://www.tes.org}. The Society of Janus, PO Box 426794, San Francisco, CA 94142, {http://www.soj.org} www.soj.org. Organization in the SF Bay Area, open to all genders and persuasions. Janus is a very safe organization for novices to join. They are aware of anonymity issues, and hold a variety of workshops and social events, as well as publish a monthly newsletter. Threshold, 2554 Lincoln Blvd, Suite 381, Marina Del Rey, CA 90291. This LA-area group is the best-known pansexual SM organization in Southern California, and holds a variety of events from educational to social to political. (I do not have a current phone number or email address for them; can anyone help me out?) BackDrop Club,PO Box 390486, Mountain View, CA 94039-0486. Office: 415-965-4499, BBS: 415-964-3100, FAX: 415-964-3879. A 4,000-member club, with their own large clubhouse, BBS, and reference library. They say they are open to people of all sexes and sexualities who share an interest in SM; play parties, social events, support and discussion all take place through BackDrop. The Black Rose, in the Washington DC area. (301) 369-7667 (voicemail number with address information). A pansexual SM support group with meetings every Tuesday night. They hold a social event once a month, open to those who've attended at least two weekly meetings. There are also subgroups (one is women-only). Chicagoland Discussion Group, 3023 N. Clark St #806, Chicago, IL 60657-5205, 24-hour info-line 312-281-1097. A pansexual SM/fetish group, with events, a newsletter, parties, and outreach. A wide variety of interests are represented. LUXURIA, PO BOX 53063, Ottawa, ON, K1N 1C5; (613)567-9033. A pan-sexual-orientation & kink group whose main focus is networking and info exchange. There's a magazine, phone line, and BBS echo dedicated to it. APEX, the Arizona Power Exchange, 5821 North 67th Avenue, Suite 103-276, Glendale, Arizona 85301. We are a pansexual, panfetish support and social group, for people with dominant/submissive desires, treating the S/M, B&D and fetish experience with acceptance, respect and dignity. For meeting locations, please call (602) 906-0851. The National Leather Association, Seattle, WA. A nationwide group open to everyone into leather/SM. I have no more current contact info for how to reach them, though--can anyone help? San Francisco Sex Information, (415) 989-7374, {http://www.sfsi.org/} www.sfsi.org. SFSI is a volunteer information and referral service for all aspects of human sexuality-- SM included! If you have a question about some scene you've done or are considering doing, and you want to talk to someone who can answer your questions anonymously and nonjudgmentally, give them a call! The lines are open 3 to 9 p.m. Pacific time, Monday through Friday, and from 3 to 9 most Sundays as well. Atlanta S/M Solidarity, P.O. Box 8361, Atlanta, GA 31106. A Georgia group of SM enthusiasts, with workshops, socials, etc. The New Mexico Grant County Power Exchange Group: {http://www.powerandlove.com/power/gpeg/} G-PEG. The Phoenix Society, 1131 S. Clinton St., Baltimore, MD 21224, 410/385-3369, A Pansexual support, education and social group for consenting adults interested in dominance and submission. Meetings are held every Friday and feature discussions and demonstrations tailored to entertain and inform people at all levels of experience; members and guests are encouraged to socialize, enjoy themselves and take advantage of playroom equipment; all play at meetings is nonsexual and all information about members and guests is kept strictly confidential. For a schedule of events and directions, call, or check out the web site at {http://www.bold.ly.com/phoenix}. *Mail-order houses* Most of these places require you to state that you're 21 or over when ordering. (This list in particular could use all the expansion it can get, since I know little about toy stores outside the SF Bay Area. Send me your favorite local shops' addresses, and I'll put 'em in here!) The best stores list I know of is {http://login.dknet.dk/~pg/fetish/FAQ/} the alt.sex.fetish.fashion FAQ list. Yes, it's mostly for kinky clothes, but there is a LOT of SM material in there, too. As I mentioned above, QSM does mail-order of books and magazines. Good Vibrations, 1210 Valencia, San Francisco, CA 94110, (800) BUY-VIBE (289-9423), goodvibes@well.com, {http://www.goodvibes.com} www.goodvibes.com (yes, they are on the Internet!). An excellent non-sleazy erotica store, woman-owned, with lots of good books and magazines about sex and a nice selection of basic sex toys. If you want to order any of the books in this FAQ, you could likely get them from here--and if not from here, from QSM. Not an SM store, but a good one nonetheless. Send them $5 for first-class-mailed catalogs of their books and toys. Adam and Gillian's Sensual Whips and Toys - Serving the SM community since 1987 Adam and Gillian produce quality whips at reasonable prices. For a catalog send $3.00 to AGSWT c/o The Utopian Network; PO Box 1146; NY NY 10156, credit card by phone at (516) 842-1711 11am-9pm ET or FAX 24 hours at (516) 842-7518. Alternatively, check out the {http://catalog.com/utopian} web page and on-line graphic catalog. Mr. S. Leather Co. & Fetters USA, 310 7th St., San Francisco, CA 94103, (415) 863-7764, (415) 863-7798 (fax); {http://www.dnai.com/sex-bondage/}. Possibly the best-stocked store for SM equipment in the world. Lots and lots of really well-made bondage gear, including metal shackles and leather straightjackets, and a HUGE handcuff selection, not to mention amazing amounts of leather and rubber clothing. They have just completed "The New 1996 Mr. S. Leather and Fetters Catalog", a 208-page gorgeously-photographed catalog with over 1000 photos, and two thousand items; it's available for $20.00 in the U.S.A., $30.00 foreign. Leather Masters, 969 Park Avenue, San Jose, CA 95126, (408) 293-7660. Leather Masters is a toy store featuring custom leather, cleaning and alterations, novelties and cards, body piercing, B&D equipment, videos, and latex. Mail order catalog and newsletter are available. Northbound Leather, 19 St. Nicholas St., Toronto, Ontario M4Y 1W5. +1 416 972-1037, +1 416-975-1337 (fax); {http://www.northbound.com/}. This is an up-and-coming leather store with an excellent reputation for quality and for unusual latex and leather goods. Two *very* nice catalogues (one clothing, one toys) at $10 each, applicable towards purchase. Both catalogs and ordering info are on-line. Fit guaranteed for mail order if their (very detailed) measurement instructions are followed. Strangeblades & More, 54 Hazard Avenue #175, Enfield, CT 06082, 860-741-2965, sblades@sblades.com. Designers and crafters of metal fashions and accessories. Color "Chainmail & More" catalog available for $3 and 18+ age statement. Their entire catalog is located online at {http://www.sblades.com/}. M.B. Productions - Fetish Clothing, Bondage Gear, Dungeon Equipment, and Adult Toys. {http://www.mbpro.com}. House of Whacks, Chicago, IL, (773) 761-6969, fax (312) 761-4375. Specializes in latex clothing, may sell some toys. Also sells high-end magazines and catalogs, including a fancy and expensive one of its own. Sponsors periodic social gatherings. Male Hide Leathers, 2816 N. Lincoln Ave., Chicago, IL 60657, (773) 929-0069. Primarily gay male-oriented shop, sells stuff of general gay interest as well as bdsm interest (clothing, toys). Don't know if they do mail orders. Black Market Chicago, 1116 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago 60622, (773) 278-6780. BDSM apparel, equipment, toys, and books. Sponsors periodic bondage nights at a local bar. Taboo Tabou (or it is the other way around? :-) ), 856 W. Belmont Ave., Chicago 60657, (773) SAFE-SEX (or its digital equivalent). Erotic lingerie, BDSM apparel and equipment, other toys, and a wide selection of condoms. Paul C. Leather, 2421 W. Pratt Ave., Suite 959, Chicago 60645, (800) FETISH-0 (or numerical equivalent). Leather BDSM wear by catalog order; showroom by appointment only. Their email address is FetishO@aol.com. Pleasure Chest, 3155 N. Broadway, Chicago 60657, (773) 525-7151. General-purpose sex shop with a good selection of BDSM apparel and tools. Slimwear of America, P.O. Box 997, Eastsound, WA 98245, (206)376-5213 (machine), (206)376-5231 (fax). A widely-known supplier of rubber-wear and assorted latexery. Clothes catalog $17.50, hood/gag listing $6.00, both $22.00 postpaid. Heartwood Whips of Passion, 412 N. Coast Hwy. #210, Laguna Beach, CA 92651. Some of the best leather whips and floggers to be found, anywhere. Jeanne's whips are works of art, whether they're being used or not. Bondage, James Bondage, Inc. 7926 Woodvale Cir., Tampa, FL 33615, (813) 443-3658. Purveyors of assorted bondage gear, videos, and magazines, I believe. If you're looking for leather in upstate New York, look up Savage Gifts & Leather. The owner's name is Ken Savage and the shop is at 88 Central Ave., Albany NY 12210. His phone number is (518) 434-2324. He will custom make any leather apparel/gear you can dream up and he's helped me design some custom harnesses. His shop is open every day (except Sunday) from noon til 8pm EST, 11pm on weekends. He also does area shows and welcomes mail orders. JT Toys, Inc., (800) 755-TOYS, jttoys@world.std.com. JT (Joel Tucker by name) has an excellent selection of quality SM equipment and prices lower than any. Plus he's a great guy to do business with. Their new web site is at {http://www.stockroom.com}. Cecilia Tan, a long-time presence on s.s.b-b, now has a business: Circlet Press Mail Order Books, P.O. Box 15143, Boston, MA 02215. She says they carry all manner of kinky and erotic fiction and nonfiction, specializing in leather/fetishes/SM. A catalog is free with a 29-cent SASE or by email (she's ctan@world.std.com). Constance Enterprises Ltd., PO Box 43079, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043. Also Dressing for Pleasure, 590 Valley Road, Upper Montclair, NJ, (201) 746-5466. An upscale business, selling fashions and toys for people into BDSM. Il Bolero, 6846-6842 St-Hubert St., Montreal, Quebec, Canada H2S 2M6, (514) 270-6065. Don't know much about this store except that it's got a lot of Northbound Leather's stuff. Bon-Vue Enterprise, Inc., owned and operated by Bill and Debbie Majors (who sometimes post to s.s.b-b), produces B&D videos, magazines, comics, art portfolios, pocket books, and other products; most of their stuff is male dom/female sub. They also operate the Hedonism BBS at (310) 631-7697. A catalog is $5.00 and can be obtained from: Bon-Vue Enterprises, Inc., P.O. Box 92889, Long Beach, CA 90803. They offer a total satisfaction guarantee policy that is "unique in the adult industry". Phone: (310) 631-1600. BR Creations in Mountain View makes custom-made corsets--P.O. Box 4201, Mountain View, CA 94040, catalog $5. Excellent quality. Mark I. Chester makes spandex body bags and hoods; he's at P. O. Box 42501, SF, CA 94101, (415) 621-6294. For a sharp touch, get some Vampire Gloves from Leonard at Lucifer's Armory. Contact ixion@dorsai.org, Box 808, 874 Broadway, New York, NY 10003. ASLAN LEATHER by Carrie, 363 Sorauren Ave. Box 58, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M6R 2G5, (416) 538-9759. Carrie makes non-leather bondage equipment, for vegans who eschew animal products in their toys. (She also makes leather stuff for the rest of us.) I'm told that you can call (800) 305-5525 for a catalog of modern chastity belts. The classic magazines of "love bondage" (i.e. pretty women posing in lingerie and bondage) are available from Harmony Concepts, Box 69976, Los Angeles, CA 90069. A wide variety of sexy spandex bondage gear is available from Noelle Nielson Softwear, Box 69826, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Write for information. Here's a rather hot ad I recently received: "JG Leathers is a manufacturer of custom, specialized, leather and rubber discipline harnesses. Types include pony- girl or pony-boy full-body harnesses, with separate bridle and bit, cow-girl or cow-boy milking discipline harnesses. All harnesses designed and manufactured to be suspension-capable, and when used in conjunction with speciallY modified gas masks can also be used for sensory-deprivation, breathe control, and electrical 'aversion therapy' techniques. Standard toys are also made to the customer's specifications. Catalogue costs $5.00 usd/$6.50 cad. The address is JG Leathers, 5324 10A Avenue, Delta, B.C., Canada V4M 1Y6." The Naughty Victorian (2315-B Forest Drive, Suite 68, Annapolis, MD 21401; Tel.: 1-800-778-7428; Fax: 410-626-1879). Offering "the finest body of literature, clothing, implements and accessories" for "the practice of adult domestic discipline." Catalog available for $5. For those who enjoy making their own toys, I'm told that a great source for leather hides and tools is the M. Siegel Company, Inc., 120 Pond Street (Route 126), Ashland, MA 01721. Phone (508)881-5200, fax(508)881-5203, orders only (800)932-8956. They keep odd hours and have certain minimum-order sizes, so call first. If you're in San Francisco, stop by Stormy Leather, 1158 Howard St., San Francisco, CA 94103, (415) 626-1672, {http://www.stormyleather.com} www.stormyleather.com. A woman-owned store with an excellent selection of sexy leather and latex clothes, good basic bondage gear, and a wonderful magazine and book section. They cater to both men and women, so they'll have toys to fit you; they also do custom orders. They have unfortunately stopped doing mail orders. Another great San Francisco store is Romantasy, which has a {http://www.romantasy.com} web page; seek more info there. Previous section Created 10 August 1995, last updated 3 April 1999 ======================================================================= Thanks for reading! Hope you learned something! Remember, your sexuality is wonderful; treasure it and nourish it! Created 10 August 1995, last updated 2 15 Dec 1999, and copyright {http://www.unrealities.com/adult/copyrite.htm} by Johnson Grey {johnson_grey@unrealities.com}. User Contributions:Comment about this article, ask questions, or add new information about this topic: |
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