STUDIES IN
INTELLIGENCE
A collection of articles on the historical, operational, doctrinal, and theoretical aspects ol intelligence.
All statements of fact, opinion or analysis expressed in Studies in Intelligence are those of
the authors They do not necessarily reflect official positions or views of the Central Intelligence Agency or any other US Government entity, past or present. Nothing in the contents should be construed as asserting or implying US Government endorsement of an article's factual statements and interpretations.
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Volunteer* forfringe and farther-out.
CRANKS, NUTS, AND SCREWBALLS David R. McLean
TI have always had adequate sea that no one aprvreciated.etter grade of iron to eat. and so do the (Excerpt4 letter to the Director of Central InteUlgerrce.)
efenseless woman having husband trouble sincerely requests your help"4 letter to the DCI,pictureonvertible and addressuburban moteL)
eep me off the payroll. Ill try and sell my abilities to Ihe Sovietostcard peevishly addressed to. Lower Intelligence Agency.)
"Please be informed, oldave entered my name withh Congressandidate for the Presidency of the United States in the next elections.akem going to reinstate you inetter to Allen W. Dulles.)
"You can tellcCooe to go to hell If you think I'm going to be treated ibis way after all I've done for youEarly morning telephone call fromn his release from the drunk cellashington police precinct.)
"OruNtSCOPiTrTEOBI BUOPSYCHOCRYSI ARROSCI-OAEROCEN ETHLIOMETEOR OAU STRAW EROAN-THRO VlCliTHYOPYROSI DEROCHExcerpt3 telegram to CIA. )
Somethingecret fnteufgence agency attracts an endless stream of letters, cards, telegrams, phone calls, and personal visits from deranged, possibly dangerous, or merely daffy titizeos who want to hom in oo tbe cloak-and-dagger act Mixed into the CIA morning mail, these unsolicited testimonials to the Agency's drawing power create some delicate screening problems,ot of time, and justify elaborate security precautions to protect its top officials.
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The Agency's Office of Securityatch list of nearlypersons or organizations who have tried to visit, write,its officials and who have been,ourceEvery suspected crank contact is checked againstThe signatures include "The Creen Russian* inand "Your Aunt Minnie* in San Francisco. Nearly allarc domestic, but alongside addresses In Pewee Valley,Big Bear City, CaL, are foreign listings from Quito tofrom 'EcunburgK to Australia.-
Steadies and One-Timers
The Bow of oddball letters and phone calls increases perceptibly when CIA Is in the news. Less thanours after President Johnson announced he would nominate Admiral Rabom to be theetroit man had sent theords ofabout the high cost of prescription medicinesew Yorker had asked his help inrustling Wain. The file of letters to him was mounting even before his appointment had been confirmed. Onassachusetts man sent him some well-intentioned advice. "Deare wrote, "as you may be. ain't got much Brains or he wouldn't beealt with his type forears. The best way to get along with him is humor him."
aithful nucleus of loyal Intelligence fans always contributes aboutercent of the total Probably most of the cranks arc as harmless as the cliUdisb codes they sometimes use. The trouble is. they'reew might have complaints worth hearing; others mighteal threat to an unsuspecting officer whothem.
Nut-and-doh visits to headquarters offices have practicallysince CIA moved out to Langley; an occasional walk-in still calls at its personnel office downtown. Its overt or semi-overt domestic offices, which are more approachable, have now compiled an impressive record of coping with off-beat visitors.
Clairvoyance and Contrivances
A fairly common complaint of theetting messages from the Communists by thought-transference or through the fillings in their teeth. One disturbed gentleman from Buffalo claimed the Communists had kidnapped him, cut open bis head, removed his
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andadio. After warning bis interviewer to say nothing the opposition should not bear, he asked CIA to remove the radio and replace the brains. For sheer imagination in fieldingomplaint, the prize probably goes to tbe CIA man whoa woman she might indeed be getting radio messages by static electricity. Reminding her of the chains that drag under gasoline trucks, heeries of paper clips, hooked one end in her skirt, fet.thetrail on the floor, and sent her happuy_on_her way
with
Then there was the man whoo volunteerpy fn the Czechoslovakian uranium mines. He confided that he had been stalling because he feared the radiation might make him sterile. Now, however, he bad solved this problem: he planned to carryarton of Chesterfields and wrap the tinfofl around his private parts. The Agency secretary who fraemorandum on his visit never could understand why be Insisted on Chesterfields.
Some fairly far-out ideas have been seriously proposed by sensible aniens. One responsible businessmanechanical chess-playing machine which countered any move according to prepunched IBM cards. He proposed to take bis machine to Moscow, consolidate his position there, and then suggest that the machine could be usedraining aid for any move-and-ccomtermove situation, such as military tactics. Instead of chessmen he would use symbols for tanks, infantry, hills, forests, planes, and fields of fire. Since he knew nothing about military tactics, the Soviet general staff would have to tell him the prescribed response to every move. As soon as be had all the responses purtched on IBM cards he would deliver duplicates to the American Embassy. Then if we ever faced the USSR in battle we could always run the IBM cards and tell what the Soviets would do next
The most intriguing case mvestigatedomestic officechool superintendent of unassailable reliability who dabbled in hypnotismobby and reported that be could induce clairvoyance In his subject, an engineering student.hileypnotic trance the subject described in minute technicaloviet ballistic missileype unknown in the United States butwith expert private assessments of Soviet capabilities- The research chiefespected American aircraft plant was present at the demoristration, framed many cjucstions, andape recording of the answers. Tbe subject used technical and scientific terminology
which neither he nor the hypnotist could be expected to know.experts who studied the tape found "just enough substantive data to stimulate the imagination' but decided that clairvoyance would beery risky approach to tbe collect km of Soviet guided missilehe mystery remains unsolved.
Other Field Office WaOcint
Some unlikely;sources have produced usableoldier of fortune fresh from Cuba wearing yellow canvas shoes, red denim slacks,audy sport shirtomestic office. His debriefing was worth while but abbreviated by his arrest forag of dynamite in his hotel room. Iniami man brought toox which be had bought sight-unseen at an auction of shipments abandoned. customs. The box contained moreegatives of Cuban propaganda. And0 an admitted swindler and diamond smuggler volunteered the information that five Soviet missile experts had Just travelled to Cuba by way of Mexico. This report was takenrain of salt at the time.
One probable James Bond fan seems obsessed with findingways of eliminating the opposition. Besides the usual poisons and trick guns, he hastthally exploding cigar disguisedand readingoyl" He has also offered to dispose of bodies for us in his home meat grinder. An attractive divorceeober life in this country as an airline secretary but regularly flics to another country and cuts loose there among the political leaders. For all her Mala Hari complex she has brought useful information.
Everlovak economist has been trying lo peddle information he claims to obtainrivate underground net. He is presentable and persuasive and has impressed countless high officials,enator who brought him to lunch with the upper echelons of CIA. Fortunately these official contacts quickly lead backum notice identifying himabricator. As lateowever, he was still trying with some success to Interest leading American industries in technical data from anti-Communist researchers behind the iron curtain. Having abandoned the atomic cannon be offered the government, he was tempting industry with everything from synthetic fibers to jet engine designs, high-temperature ceramics, and flexible concrete. Meanwhile he hadawyer
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andashington shoe storeecause his shoes were too tight; in the brief he filed with the court be claimed thatpy he needed to run fast
Letters lo Langley
By far the greatest number of crank contacts are by mail. In the first eight months of Fiscaletters addressed simply to CIA wereas from cranks-^Jhls does not count those addressed whcrv^cC^cT&c'DCl tjy twrne or to specific fieVd officesT*'
Neither does it include some unsolicited letters which may be help-mi pathetic, or merely misguided but are not from cranks. The following examples are all fromn ex-Marineossibly practical suggestion for guerrillayear-old Thai girl asked bow to get training in poMceermsn student asked for help to locating his father, who had been captured by the Soviets in World Waryear-old boy asked if there were really such organizations as SMERSH. All such writers receive courteous replies.
But in tbe same month there arrived elaborate greetings to tbe DCIaryland woman who thinks she is Catherine III. Empress of all thend who had previouslyord report on how she insured the successful invasion of Europe by entertaining Hitler privately foroursay. Also In5 came the advice that "now isf the top CIA men to penetrate every possible beauty parlor and Chinesehe results will amaze and constantly sstound yournew York correspondent informed us that Rudolph Hess, from his cell in Spandau, was controlling ten leading Southern segregationists by long-distance hypnotism. And onoman wrote to the Director from Massachusetts: "As nearan make out there normallyrey cloud at the base of the psyche. When the cloud backs up you go out of focus. But after taking Alka Seltzer and sodiuman sing Hokus Pokus you're in focus."
4 letter was addressed to "Snuffy McDuffy, Top Floor. Closed Door, CIA," Perceptive mail clerks sent it to the Director's office, where it was found toairly reasonable suggestion for propaganda. The letter ended:. If you don't take appropriaterite to the President and tell him you're chicken."
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The Fox
Probably tbe most imaginative and persistent correspondentaunl long-faced man with sunken eyes and prominent ears who first wrote to CIA on2 askingigh-powered rifle with telescopic sights and terrain maps of Siberia, Manchuria, and Korea. Since then he has sent thousands of letters, postcards, and telegrams and used more thanliases ranging from "Alexisigns Vtfknt name followed by.IA's government tie-line code. Here we shall call him Old Woody.
Even though his handwriting aod Literary style are well known around the DO's office, age cannot wither nor custom stale OldSnite variety. One letter told the Director:ave allottedaximum life span ofears, not to exceed the" Another complained that "someone has wired my head for sight andhird urged the Director to "tell Hoffa to require seat belts in allourth began:egret to inform you Kennedy won the election fair andhenollect) from Florida: "REQUEST FEDERAL TROOPS, MARTIAL LAW. MIAMI SITUATION OUT OF CONTROL"
Old Woody travels widely, usually first class. He has written from Cuba, Puerto Rico, Nassau. Honolulu, and Hong Kong, as well as from most major cities In the United States. On domestic airlinesmerican hotels he has often registered as. Duties,nd mailed cancelled tickets and receipted bills to CIA. He likes luxury hotels; his suiteashington hotel0 was billeday. On many of his trips he listed CIA's street address as his residence and the DCI as his next-of-kin, often reinforcing the latter claim by takingn flight insurance with the Director as beneficiary.
In4 Old Woody was arrested for vagrancy in Richmond. Allowed only one phone call, be used it to notify CIA of hisouple of weeks later he phoned to report his new motorcycle license, and still later he wrote that he was workingoat in Miami Back in the money carrye wrote from Bermuda that be bad been appointed King of the British Empire.
The risk of arrest does not dampen Oldnthusiasm for the service. In0 heelephone appointment with the commanding officer of an Air Force base in Nevada,CIA securitysed the base commander's tdephone
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to call CIA headn Washington, and oo departure warned the txnnmander that some officers were out of uniform at Harold's Club- After sending MPsild goose chase to the gambling club, tbe base commander somewhat grumpily repotted the incident in an official letter toew months later Old Woody was not so lucky. In Ponce, Puerto Rico, be represented himself as an FBI agent,eep from the National Cuard, and drose it across theere bee. wrote from jail.m In troubleew days biter he grew petulant. "You are wasting your time and the Armed Forces'e wrote,do noteconciliation."
Generousault. Old Woodyadillac Limousine and chauffeuray hist before0 and drove to the' Soviet embassy, where he0 for Francis Cary Powers. Then be drove to the Cuban embassy0 for prisoners oo the hue of Pines, and then lo the American Bed Cross, where beo help unmarried mothers- Finally he came to CIA headquarters and handed the receptionist an envelope addressed to Mr. Dulleshristmas present. These activities landed him in St Elizabeth's Hospital, from which heew days later after getting backrom CIA. But he was pleased with the episode; nearly two yean later he wrote Mr. Dulles that "someive youilloken of my affection."
In1 be wrote from El Paso: "When the newtakesuess ITI wash my hands ofut Old Woody didn't and the fsdw of letters continues. In1 be put down CIA as his home address when heank account in Wdmington, Delaware. In2 he telegraphed from"FIDEL CASTRO MINUS HIS BEARD ARRIVED CH1CACO. HAVE DETAIL COVERINCnashington Miami airliner turned back and off-loaded him; be had alarmed fellow-passengers by claiming toersonal friend of Fidel Castro and trying to communicate with CIA by. radio.
Is Old Woodyarmless screwball?0 he wrote:m going to startegulation FBI revolver and if someone forces mentend oo using it"1 be warned Mr. Dulles: "The bomb attached to my radio Inas not availed you anything soho knows what Old Woody will inter pi el asituation"? inimum, be has cost the Covem-
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reat many dollars In wasted time, filing space, analyses, and precautions. As he himself put It0 letter from West Palm Beach: "Allen, you should deduct me from your income tax."
Fishecord
Some crank correspondents are remarkably well educatedin business ortbe arts. Takeyear-olda high-ranking
town shop. Educated in Europe and widely travelled, she served abroad with tbe Bed Cross In World War II and has written many successfulone which was madeajor motion picture. She writes beautifully and, at first glance, convincingly.
It was the fish that gave her away. Her early letters just asked for information about an inner circle of Government officials whorawingish as the symbol ofonfidentially shared community of patriotichen she started sending CIApostcards with crude drawings of fish. Later she adopted the fishignature to her own letters.
2 the fish-woman asked tbe vice presidentashington bank to helpmall private counterespionage organization working to expose "the mammoth traitorous operation at present flourishing within our Government" Meanwhile she wroteanonymous letters, mailed them to herself, and then forwarded them to CIA to prove the existenceonspiracy. Ignored for years, she continues writing long and quite articulate letters. Tbe most recent one, mailed inontains0 words.
One might think that if no one answered their letters the crank correspondents would eventually get discouraged and quit writing. This is not always true CIA's most faithful correspondent has beeningle theme steadilyhen beCIA agent" had welshedob offer. Almost every day heostcard with the same message: Take Action on CIA Agent Joee has been arrested and released on his promise to stop writing;ew days the postcards arrive again. He has vvritten from Miami, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Phoenix, Denver, Rochester, Colorado Springs, aod Hampton,his peak2otalostcards to CIA. He has also carried his complaint
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to the Secretary of Defease,pecUl assistant at the Pentagon politely suggested in reply that be deal directly with CIA.
Vki-rnce
Are such cranks actually dangerous? Bead on. Onconsulting nuclear engineer" called at CIA's downtown personnel office and tried to see the DCI. File checks showed that)four years earlier he hadetter marked "DEATH" and signed "Lord Cod, Cod of Israel" On8 be badad in Richmond, picked upear-old boy, and tried to invade the Quanttco Marine Corps School brandiihlng the boy's toy pistols.
The night ofan who thought heIA agent telephoned four times trying to report to the Director. On2 the same man wasapid City.fter torroriiing residential areas of that city, firing dozens of shots through windows, and wounding one resident- When arrested be wasa high-powered rifle, arifle,arge quantity of ammunitioo.
Ooe crank has been bombarding more thanop Government officials with details of alleged Communist electronic thought-control byoherent light process oftate of controlled hypnosis by radiation of radio frequency energyavelength ofhe writer ts ofEcialry diagnosedaranoiac schirs^hrenic, potentially dangerous.
Onyear-old Florida real estate salesman mailed tberude threat note ending "Your card is tho ACE OFhis man had tried to see the Director in theonce toroposed trip to Russia, again to report hisof the hardest metal in the world.iagnosedhrome schirrjphrenic peuarsotac with "occlusions of grandeur, sedustveness, and hostility" who should be keptstructured and supervisede was arrested three timesnce foroncealed weapon. Earlier he had been arrested for armed robbery and0 In Arlington.or attempted murder.
ith the arrivalew DCI, CIA informally reviewed proactive measures with Secret Service and Metropolitan Policeofficers. It was reaffiirned that, while tha threat of an attack on top Agency officials was unpredictable and might never
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materialize, it wu nevertheless real enough to require professional protection Events since then have underlined this view, although there has been no (knock on wood) actual injury. Probably the closest call wasoman wrestler traced one top official to tbe home of relatives and lunged at himouquet of loses which was afterwards found toagged broken beer bottle.
In any intelligence agency it is Important to keep track of crank contacts, not crdy to tnrprove protectionjxit also tn assure continuity of control and analysis. Centralization of records in CIA's Office of Security permits quick identification of phonics and time-wast ess. Profrsjiooil security officers know bow to handle the off-beatand others would do well to rely oo the professionals when they receive an irrational letter or find themselves face to face with an apparently unbalanced stranger.
Original document.
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